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Original poster

Has anyone ever heard of a Twin Flame and if so can I hear your experiences please?

142 replies

Inappropriatefemale · 14/08/2019 22:42

As above then I have recently found out that there’s such a thing as a Twin Flame, this is apparently more than a soul mate, I’m not sure if I have found mine so I would like to hear about your experiences with your twin flame, if you have any?

Thanks, IF x

OP posts:
SouthernComforts · 15/08/2019 08:36

I know a "twin flame" couple. He basically changed his entire life - religion, diet, lifestyle overnight to mould himself into her idea of a twin flame, and they post huge paragraphs of sickly crap on social media about their unique love that nobody else has ever had. From the outside looking in it's just a bit sad and cringey, the guy is playing a part so I can't see how that can be genuine.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 15/08/2019 08:36

It just sounds silly. Made up nonsense by people who have a need to appear special and different.

BertrandRussell · 15/08/2019 08:39

“ I might get flamed now but it's true.”
Twice, surely?

BertrandRussell · 15/08/2019 08:41

All these things are just reasons women use to justify being treated like shit by men.

CanIhelpyouatall · 15/08/2019 08:42

I looked this up recently. It seems to involve going through a lot of relationship difficulties to stay together. Soul mates are more appealing to me.

isthismylifenow · 15/08/2019 08:52

This is the new soul mate term imo.

I agree with Christmas. if you went into a relationship with someone who claimed you were their twin flame, but they were a bit on the abusive side... it fits with the narrative of what they say a twin flame relationship is. You fight and argue a lot because you have a bit of a personality clash, but then make up easily enough as one of you is a bit more forgiving that the other. But its ok to keep repeating that process as you are twin flames and it is to be expected... Where does it end though?. Do you put everything that doesn't appear normal or right to you, to being with your twin flame, therefore its ok if things are volatile.

There are many many people in the world. Some of those you will never really connect to for various reasons. But many you will have a good connection with, due to your personality types, experiences you have in the past etc etc. The person you more likely to be happy with, is one of those people that you can connect with.

Jade74 · 15/08/2019 09:03

@Alliejay81 and SoyDora at least you are being respectful over this unlike some of the other comments on here. You only have one because it’s a twin twins are two people . It is based on a higher spiritual connection with one person it is usually a relationship but doesn’t have to be . People are turning it into a negative concept and yes it can be challenging . I appreciate some people don’t believe in it and feel sorry for op with all this negativity as another poster said if you are more positive then you will be more in tune with it . I usually like these forums but has made me think about the nature of some of the posters and I don’t get why they are so negative and outing .

NameChangeNugget · 15/08/2019 09:10

Sounds like wanky, made up drivel

BertrandRussell · 15/08/2019 09:11

“@Alliejay81 and SoyDora at least you are being respectful over this unlike some of the other comments on here”
Why should anyone be respectful to this obvious bollocks?

CodenameVillanelle · 15/08/2019 09:20

Why should people be respectful of ideas that are toxic, harmful bollocks?

marvellousnightforamooncup · 15/08/2019 09:22

I thought it was a type of boiler or gas hob.

Iamthewombat · 15/08/2019 09:41

Who or what has been ‘outed’? Did you put ‘outing’ when you meant ‘cutting’?

Fidgety31 · 15/08/2019 10:36

I’m with pp here - the only twin flame I’ve ever had or heard of was on my gas fire.

In any other respect I must be far too old cuz never heard the term before !

Luckingfovely · 15/08/2019 10:42

Twin flames! I knew I'd read about this fictional concept somewhere!

In the Alexa O'Brien series by Trina M Lee.

A vampire and a werewolf are twin flames.

Another werewolf is also tied into the twin flame concept somehow, leading to lots of very naughty triplet-flame-wolf-on-Vampire-on-wolf-sex.

Highly recommended Grin

BertrandRussell · 15/08/2019 10:42

“You only have one because it’s a twin twins are two people”

@Jade74- what do you think the chances are of meeting your twin flame?

SoyDora · 15/08/2019 10:43

Knowing my luck, my ‘twin flame’ would be a Buddhist monk living in Tibet.

wheresmymojo · 15/08/2019 10:52

@TubbyMonkeh

Did you read all the Twilight books?

This made me Grin
It should really form the basis of any new psychological tests...

ChippyPickledEggs · 15/08/2019 11:04

It's not that people on Mumsnet are 'negative'. It's that we tend to believe in true things. Evidence based things. I mean ffs.

BertrandRussell · 15/08/2019 11:06

Actually- to be serious for a moment, reading and internalising the Twilight books would be a perfect training for a woman to be the “willing” victim of an abusive “twin flame” kind of guy....

MorrisZapp · 15/08/2019 11:10

This is how we replace religion, with madey uppey pish to keep women hoping that the crap relationships they've fallen into have some kind of deeper meaning.

It's exploitative and it causes real harm. There's only one reason to stay in a relationship and that's because it actively nurtures you and brings you satisfaction. Hoping for a sign from God, the afterlife or anywhere else is evidence that your own voice is telling you the relationship isn't as strong as you're trying to believe it is.

DoesThisLookRight · 15/08/2019 11:16

If there was such a thing as twin flames then I think DH and I would be it. We’re identical - we like exactly the same things, had incredibly similar (insane) upbringings, same degree, same career, same everything really. We absolutely fucking hate each other and are in the middle of a divorce Grin.

colourlessgreenidea · 15/08/2019 11:42

It’s definitely not made up, there is lots of information on Google about it

GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

colourlessgreenidea · 15/08/2019 11:47

there’s so many written testimonials from people on Quora, You Tube etc

You’re using the word ‘testimonial’ as if this imbues anything written by an internet user with an inherent factuality.

Something written by a random on Quora is no more of a verifiable statement of fact than anything else written by randoms on the internet.

BertieBotts · 15/08/2019 11:55

My mum believes in this kind of thing.

To be honest, I think it is a potentially harmful explanation for a real phenomenon (belief or not in reincarnation notwithstanding). The descriptions of "twin flame" relationships are almost universally abusive, obsessive and controlling in nature - it describes that "push-pull" type feeling very well. It's not a made up thing. It's just that it's a sign of a very unhealthy dynamic, rather than being a sign of some kind of spiritual significance. I would advise extreme caution when encountering a person who makes you feel this way. It usually means they are dangerous.

You usually find that people who experience the twin flame thing have had poor relationship models in childhood or sometimes have been abused in childhood themselves, had a very domineering parent, etc.

Read The Gift of Fear - it's enlightening.

BertieBotts · 15/08/2019 12:10

If I was to believe in the twin flame stuff I know exactly who (in my life) it would apply to - he was an alcoholic, he didn't wash, he had no boundaries (would sleep around whether we were together or not) and would disappear for months at a time. He once threatened me with a can of lighter fuel, after telling me that his uncle was in prison for killing his wife by burning their house down. I sat on him until he fell asleep, and then went to sleep myself, didn't leave until morning, and saw him again even though I knew, had this little voice in my head saying this isn't normal.

That relationship was not safe and would never have been healthy yet I still feel affection towards him, still occasionally wonder what he is up to and felt utterly destroyed and traumatised when I heard that he was happily back with his ex-girlfriend and she was pregnant, long after I thought I'd got over him. That break up caused me to go into rebound with another controlling, abusive person who I got pregnant to myself, which was probably the worst decision I have made in my life (though DS1 is lovely - things would have been very different without him).

Trauma bonding, as somebody else said upthread is a better explanation for twin flames. The thing is what would it matter if we were twin flames? What would I stand to gain from being involved with him? Nothing. I certainly wouldn't have the nice life I have now with a kind, stable, responsible partner. If we'd had children together he would not be the kind of role model I would want for them. I would probably also fall into unhealthy habits potentially with drugs and alcohol. That's all assuming it didn't go the worst way and he didn't become violent towards me, which in hindsight I think is fairly likely, even though I can't imagine him doing that. I'm lucky in that despite the great pull I felt towards him I was able to step away and recognise that it was harmful towards me and let go.