Dating thread 166: Who dates wins

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

orignally it’s so annoying! I live in a tourist town so I feel your pain!

toold what are you ignoring?

sunshine ah sorry that’s not the best end to a birthday.

I am talking to a couple on Fab- eeek

Thank you everyone, I really hope he is genuine and this is it for me. I have been on and off here for 4 years and have had some pretty awful experiences, I think I’m finding it hard to believe that I have found someone I really like and seems to be really nice. It’s early days but at the moment I feel really good about everything. I guess the only slight amber flag is that he hasn’t lived on his own for very long, he’s been divorced for a while but moved back in with his parents and has only just got his own place.

That's great Love. Sunshine I hope your kids feel better soon.

I don't think Mr E is going to be for me. Currently giving him benefit of the doubt but he's just had a yellow card...

shit I understand the reasoning behind it, he was in a long relationship, his house was sold and split so until the house had sold he was still paying the mortgage for a house he wasn’t living in. I think the amber flag is because he’s not very independent when it comes to cooking, shopping and getting up in time for work as he has always relied on someone to do it for him, he’s pretty open about this and does tell me that he is still learning to do these things. It’s not a big red flag, I just want to take things pretty slow because I don’t want to become the next person to do everything for him 🤣

love I think a lot of men are like that (sorry thread men) I know my ex had never lived independently before I left. From parents to girlfriends back to partners etc. Take it slow but I wouldn’t see it as a red flag just something to be aware of and make sure he doesn’t try and make you responsible for him.

Why the amber flag ginmel?

love no-one is perfect, that sounds like a flaw that can be worked on by him now that he has to, not an amber or red flag.

I agree with the others @Lovemusic33. It’s not necessarily a flag of any kind, but it’s still good that you’re wary of getting into a wifework situation. It’s so bloody easy to fall into that kind of thing.

@shitwithsugaron I’m sure the meeting the teenager will go really well. Although I can totally imagine it’s more daunting than meeting the wee ones.

What was the yellow cardable offence @Ginmel?

I think some people are up for an ONS anywhere they can find one, @Originallymeonly. I once marched with a completely gorgeous and really interesting guy who lived in Connecticut and was just visiting one of the local universities for a 2 day event. I’m pretty sure that he was probably not as (at all) separated as he claimed to be and just a total player whose wife had no idea about his tinder use on his regular work travel trips. He was seriously good looking though.

Sorry to hear the kids were ill @Sunshineandflipflops. It’s so crap when it happens, especially on holiday and on your birthday. DS2 was really sick the last morning of our holiday, and on the plane. Turns out he’s very good at using sick bags. I hope your DD is feeling better today.

@Hedgeurbets All of us have at some point on this thread said something about our bodily insecurity and attempting to date. Thing is, everyone is a bit nervous about getting naked with someone new. You already know he fancies you if you’re at the getting naked point, and he’ll already have seen you clothed so he’ll have a reasonable idea if your size and shape.

I can guarantee that he’s worrying about his own body/performance rather than critically appraising yours. In fact, we all had a long conversation a few threads ago about male performance anxiety. The likelihood is he’s concentrating on making sure he doesn’t disappoint you (rather than being anything other than delighted about being naked with you).

Ikea, you say @Savoretti. He must really like you.

I’m not sure any of the apps/sites are intrinsically better than the others. I met MrSG on tinder, and we were both looking for a real relationship. It’s always just a case of filtering out the (masses of) dross, whichever site you use.

Noob here, long time lurker. You guys have been invaluable when I was getting back on my feet over a year and half ago

Thought I'd weigh in on the @Lovemusic33 chap that's a bit domestically rusty (ok, absent!). I was in a similar position when I left my XW with my DD. It took quite a period of adjustment to fill in the gaps, mainly around laundry and ironing. Happy to now report that I run a tight ship with the help of a weekly cleaner.

No way would I want a partner to take over domestically. I've got my own routines, standards and love owning my own sh** now

@Ginmel I hope the yellow card does the trick for Mr E and he ups his game.

My Mr B has gone and made things weird. Normally it’s me overthinking but it seems that now we have decided to be more honest he’s constantly questioning what I’m thinking after the weekend’s disagreement. I don’t think text is exactly the best medium for subtle self-expression so I kind of see what he means...but stop asking me aargh! I don’t know what else to say other than I’m ok, happy to continue chatting and meeting, and that I’m not coming across very clearly by text?

Mr E is saying stuff like wish you were here when he hasn't met me and barely knows anything about me. I know the agenda and the game but I am not playing. I only want a FWB but I hate stuff like that because I know he'd say it to anyone.

Just had a coffee date with an iron I matched with yesterday, looking for a relationship but not the full moving in shit. Ended with a very nice snog. I think I would like to see him again, not sure how he feels about that - he’s six years younger with actual abdominal muscles! I’ll name him if I do. Mmm.

cassettes I have abdominal muscles.... somewhere...., oh hang on, I think I packed hem away somewhere...

Slightly tmi hormone related post but know we've talked about this before.

Fricking hormones. Ovulated earlier this week and could now ignore all my irons.

@CassettesAreCool mr abs??

@Ginmel that just made me snort! For some reason I desperate for sex the night before my period arrives. It always confuses me until the next day!

@Theworldcouldbemymollusc @Ginmel Me too...big time! Blooming hormones!

@Theworldcouldbemymollusc I relate to that. Until I started potting my cycle, I had no idea how much ovulation affected my level of horniness. I think my body is trying really hard to convince me I should have a baby at the moment because it seems to be getting worse. Oddly I've no interest in kids, just breeding.

The more the merrier @Sunshineandflipflops

So it's my birthday today.
Was woken up with bedroom activity, coffee and a birthday card 🤣
MrMechanic also bought me red roses home from work 😍
After the last 4 awful birthdays with the ex I'm feeling a little loved up today 🥰🥰

Even had a little note in the card saying hope it's one of many birthdays we'll spend together 💚

I’ve got a coil and don’t bleed at all. But I can still tell you when I’m ovulating based on my sex drive fluctuations.

I’m pretty sure my body is in a ‘Fuck. You’re nearly 39. Time is running out’ attempt to encourage procreation stage. I even dream about being pregnant (and wake up weirdly disappointed that I’m not - even though I have no intention of having more children; thankfully having a coil removed, or checked, or fitted, is such a difficult thing to achieve due to lack of appointments anywhere ever that such feelings always pass before I can think it’s a good idea). Things never used to be like this when I was younger.

Or, of course, it may simply have been that I never wanted to have sex with my ex. So my revulsion at that prospect dampened down this hormonal nonsense.

That’s lovely @thelaststraw123. Happy birthday.