Dating thread 166: Who dates wins

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

There's some who not white

😂 if you never hear from me again then you know we're back together, don't think I'd dare come back 🙈

@Ant330 Or you said no and she has locked you up somewhere 😂

Only you know whats right for you.

@ant330 I have a slightly different take which is that I so rarely meet men that I like that I will not give them up without feeling I have done everything to make a relationship work. Fortunately things are fairly easy with Mr R and I love being with him (but just feel insecure when I don't see him). Obviously at this stage (2 months with you and Miss H) it should be easy and she shouldn't have treated you how she did however I don't feel able to tell you to block her or not to see her because I don't really know the nature of the baggage/ abuse she has had or any steps she has taken to overcome them. So I actually wouldn't judge you negatively for taking her back if she met certain conditions and you took things forward super slowly. And then you would know you had done everything to make it work.

Also if you look at those on the smitten bench nearly all of us have had a wobble that we've got past, I think it's an inevitability of dating in your 40s/ 50s with baggage.

😅 It isn't quite at the SunshineandMrSAS odds but I certainly won't be surprised if you give her another chance. Just be careful because you'll have basically given her a lesson in being able to walk all over you again and still have another chance and don't expect any advice from me ever again

Joking aside, it's your life and you need to do what's right for you.

All we want is for you to happy and treated with respect. That's what's important 🙏

backwith I have 2 fab accounts. My own (single female) and a couples account with Mr Big 🤪 happy to help you navigate.

Oh yes, I had a couples account on there too - with a previous relationship.

So help me please?!! That guy who's coming on strong has asked if he can take me away in a couple of weeks 😳 is this normal after only 2 dates??Also been chatting to a guy today who seems really nice but lives 2 hours away but has suggested a date near to me!

After mr horizontal (who barely texts and made no attempt in over 4 weeks to see me but has text recently as friends) I'm not sure a serious relationship is what I'm after 🤷‍♀️.
Never ever been a casual type but I think that's what I may like to do until I find mr perfect.

Stealth I don't think she's taken any steps to deal with how she was treated. But I think up till now she hasn't dated anybody that she saw a potential future with so it hasn't mattered.
Anyway I'm not saying yes yet, she's got a lot of convincing to do before I'll even think about it, but I'm also not at the point of just turning my back on her even though I know it's not up to me to fix her.
However I am very circumspect that she's only sprung into action at the thought of me dating somebody else.
Ginmel thanks that's all I want as well.
Let's see what Sunday brings. I've got plenty of time to mull it over as I'm away all next week anyway.

Oh @Ant330

Just be careful. Even if you're daft enough to have her back and then she shits on you again (which she will) we won't say we told you so. Whoever's on the "yes I knew he/she was trouble but I still had a go" bench will just shift up for you a bit.

I just had a text/phone row with Mr U. I think I created it out of nothing. I'm hormonal I've got shit going on with my aging parents and it's hard being a single parent as a lot of us know. He's really stressed about his business and just complains the whole time. I'm not very good at being taken care of but occasionally it would be nice.

@Peanuthedz do you think it's time to say I'm out ?

Quite possibly @Candace19 but I'm terrible at that. I can never end it. I let them drag on and on. God knows how I got ExDH to shift. When I look back I had a series of not great relationships that I didn't have the balls to end. I don't want this to end either. I just want him to stop being angry. But it probably should for all sorts of reasons.

Ant330 just be careful, don’t go straight back in and get heartbroken...I think I speak for everyone when I say we’ll be here no matter what.

I'm not caught up with the thread at all, just a flying visit to say that I am still seeing Mr Far and we are firmly on the bench. It's not quite the casual thing I was looking for but it's low key and going well. That's all really.

Advice please, I seem to have gone a bit iron crazy. As I've read it's a numbers game, I've had multiple chats going on after a few periods of swiping.

I've got about 5 potential dates that I'm now trying to arrange and it feels a bit stressful. Having been ghosted a bit, I was expecting the number to thin out a bit, but it hasn't 😬. They're all lovely in their own way, so don't want to ghost.

Sounds a bit humble brag this... Totally not intended.

So date 4 with Mr B went well. Our schedules now mean we won’t see each other for a couple of weeks. I’m a bit concerned that it will just fade out now due to too much time apart; despite a few misgivings I really do like this one. Have any of you managed to keep things going with prospective relationships with big gaps between dates early on?

Rick if you like the look of them all then I'd just spread them out over 2 weeks, but start with your favourites so they don't drop off because you can't meet them soon. Be aware that if you like any of them and it's mutual you'll be wanting to arrange a 2nd date and maybe not waiting 2 weeks to do so.

@RickDeckard It's easily done! But you might find you lose another couple along the way. It is a bit stressful. I normally hide myself once I've got a few decent matches or chats going otherwise it can get a bit much. It should sort itself out though but it's all a learning curve!

@FMFL I went on a date last year with someone and then went to a festival (the same one I am going to tomorrow actually) so we were going to meet up again when I got back but I injured myself while I was there and couldn't drive for a while do it was probs my a couple of weeks between 1st and 2nd dates but we just kept in touch and he was happy to wait.

I guess just keep communication going and tell him how much you are looking cheats to seeing him again. If he likes you enough he'll feel the same and want to wait to see you. A couple of weeks isn't that long.

*looking forward to seeing him again!

@Ant330 cheers, good pointers. My availability due to work travel and child (RP too) isn't great, so I'll just have to arrange them as I can fit them in. I suppose it's all first world problems really. I've halted chatting to any other matches for now.

Nervous but excited now 🙂

It's a nice problem to have, just prioritise based on your favourites and go from there 👍

Thanks @Peanuthedz I can't hide myself on Hinge, it doesn't have the option .

Nothing confirmed yet, so could be stressing about nothing 😬🙂