Dating thread 166: Who dates wins

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@tryingabitharder welcome! I was not so dissimilar to you and I just went on a few sites to see what was out there. I found Plenty of Fish good in the sense you didn't need to match to chat. Bumble was decent too. I am yet to meet a potential life partner but I did have quite a few decent dates which allowed me to test the water a bit. Was also seeing a FWB via one of the sites too. Lots of people here seem to have tried FAB if you are looking for more sex based stuff but I was too chicken to try it.

Hi everyone! Quick update from me...MrTall and I are still going strong but unable to see each until Sunday and I'm going to his. It's just over 2 months now and things are becoming more comfortable and less awkward. We're still messaging an average of 240 times a day. Whoever said about backing off messaging when arranging a date we didn't - in fact we ramped it up but it was hard not to over invest but it all worked out and I can't imagine not texting him now. In fact we things went south that's what I will miss the most.

@Ant330 wow, she's really shown her true colours! Hand stuff over and block I think but it's good that you can laugh about it and you've defo dodged a crazy bullet there.

@JeSuisPrest I'm having the same issue as you and have decided to pretend I didn't even mention it  it's not worth falling out over. He'll say it when he's ready

@Sunshineandflipflops You are as smitten as a smitten thing and have been for weeks!

@AverageGuy Glad you've got some irons!

I seem to be struggling with OLD. I speak to many weirdos who become sexual far too soon in the conversation, I try to get off the subject with no luck, so I stop messaging back. My other problem is I'm not very good on what to ask to keep the conversation going and I get bored so easily. I have no issues with talking on the phone or face to face with people. I really want to date again now, but i'm struggling. I'm on POF, Hinge and bumble. Any other worth joining? What questions should I ask? How do I get conversation flowing when it's not face to face? I've always been told i'm very photogenic and worry I might not look as nice in real life too

@mumhasanicebum87 I met MrTall on OKCupid...I like the fact they give you a percentage match

mum it's tough, isn't it? I wouldn't (and haven't) do sexting until I have at least met a woman, and established that she might welcome said sexting. There are decent, respectful men out there somewhere - there are a couple on this thread, although that doesn't help.

I don't think any of the sites are any better than others - it's all a numbers game.

Would a profile review help? I'm 57, so probably not in your preferred age range, but if I can help...

I'm 31 with two children, which I think puts some men off a little. I seem to attract men who seem more interested in a hook up, even though I have stated that is not what i'm after. Because of the child situation I can only meet every other weekend too. All my friends are married, so it's not like I can go out easily to meet men when I am with my friends.

@AverageGuy I've had a profile review before and everyone has been very positive about it. Thank you though.

@Ant330 this is just getting ridiculous. Why does she think it is not over? Why is she saying don't end it and not let's try again?

@Alanis41thank you :) I might just sign up for those two sites too. Is FAB the FAB swingers site? I have a friend who uses that and loves it (with her dh) but I am too scared to try it! Being in relationships since I was 16 means I am super inexperienced and generally nervous!

No problem mum
I just find something in their profile that interests me, or I can relate to, and start with that. Not that I'm any sort of expert..

Things are going slowly with Mr Carribbean. We video call at least once every day, usually him calling me. His work is so busy as the moment and then he sees his kids every weekend. He mentioned finding a weekend where we could have the whole weekend together so hopefully it will happen. Seeing/dating a man with children's and in the army is very new to me.

@Lovemusic33 I’d say just chill and go with the flow. Don’t think about the future or the next step, or anything beyond the next date yet. It’s early days and you don’t need to label anything yet. He already sounds a massive step above your last irons so just enjoy your time with him and try not to overthink. I think if it’s meant to be it just will be....

And @Ant330 sorry Miss Hair is still messing with your head. Jealousy is a nasty thing. She has told you she doesn’t want you, yet doesn’t want anyone else to have you either.
To me that shows she is still in a messed up place. I think if you go back there she will hurt you again, I just don’t think she is ready for a relationship. Just be careful

well fab is very busy had 140 messages today

i have done nothing today and cant keep up with FAB, i love it , lol

backwith You are single, and female - simples.

I'm absolutely not saying you aren't sexy or desirable, I'm sure you are, but there was a FAB post about a average guy (not me honest ) guy spending ages getting ready for FAB selfies, posting them, and getting nothing, and a woman posting a photo of her knee, and getting inundated with messages...

ha ha i dont doubt it

need to fine tune my profile and whittle some down

its also rained all day here so plenty of guys will be bored and fancy a look

would love to here from other users of it on here

Savoretti she hasn't actually said she doesn't want me she just hasn't said she does in the last week or so. It's semantics and means pretty much the same thing to me, but she's been very insistent that she's never said she doesn't.
I agree on the jealousy thing but she doesn't and says she will convince me.

I've just laid out all the things that I won't accept going forward and made no guarantees that I'd be willing to try again even if she can convince me she won't do it again.
I've got my eyes wide open now, but have said I'll hear her out on Sunday but right now it's a no. She said she's willing to risk me turning her down.
Think I need to meet somewhere neutral because if she just drags me straight upto the bedroom all of the above will go out the window 😂 Fact is I still fancy the pants off her 🙊
Glutton for punishment I know! I'm going to read back through thread 165 because everything I was feeling then has dissipated so I need a reminder.

back I'm ashamed to say I'm on it most days... What did you want to know?

backwith I was on Fab - met Mr BC on there - 21 weeks exclusive 😂

Wow @Ant330 it really sounds like you are going to give her another chance. It's your life though so good luck. I suspect you'll need it.

@back message filters were a sanity saver on fab. Feel no guilt for deleting messages without reading them and use the block filter as you need to. My own mental filter was based on several criteria automatically deleting messages with stupid profile names like the bigcock4you and those with photos of bjs as their profile pic. Be warned there's a lot of married men on fab as well as time wasters who just want to do sex talk.

I had a feeling it wasn't completely over @Ant330. Just be careful.

I am off to a festival tomorrow until Monday so won't be around. Sounds like there'll be a bit of news to catch up on when I'm back!

I saw MrSAS last night and won't see him until I get home now, so will have been a week, after 2 weeks of not seeing him while I was on holiday. This is why I can't have a serious relationship with anyone!

Ok, Miss Naive here but if Fab is a swingers site...is that not usually people in relationships/marriages who swing?

Ginmel it's very unlikely because actually I don't think she's capable of opening up enough to convince me. But I'm just being absolutely honest when I admit I still fancy her, happy to be judged negatively for it 😉

Lol @Sunshineandflipflops and I read between the lines the exact same way @Ant330.

@Sunshineandflipflops lots of men would readily have a casual hookup on fab after meeting, there's some white would have casual FWBs and then the very rare exclusive FWB or even a proper relationship like @bats found.