Dating thread 166: Who dates wins

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

One of the things that I like about Mr Mmm is that he’s worked for the same company for 15 years. This means he is good at it and has the respect of his colleagues, which is the situation I’m in too, so I identify with him. Don’t know how much he earns, that’s just not important

Yep I do find it thoroughly depressing that people have this huge checklist of requirements that they want in a partner. I completely understand the need to know what you want but finding someone you fancy and share a physical, sexual, and emotional connection with is hard enough let alone the added requirements of earning 60k+ and other more materialistic factors. It's no wonder I've been OLD for the best part of a decade with little success and that there are so many single people in London.

I feel your pain rich. I have DC in London and it seems like everyone is chasing money there because the lifestyle is so mental. Give me fields, some dogs, a comfortable bed and warmth/food and I’m happy.

I think some people do ask @CassettesAreCool. They’re that brazen about it.

I know how much MrSG earns as he told me when he got a promotion at work. But we were pretty well established in a relationship at that point and he knew I like him (rather than his salary). He was initially very cagey about his much he earned (which is nearly double my salary) because he’d been burned by his ex (who most definitely was only interested in his money). But, honestly, I’d like him just as much if he earned £15k.

@CassettesAreCool - I thought women went off sex at menopause??? I've been planning to squeeze as much as possible in before then! This has given me hope.
I did succumb to the love honey sale earlier this month in line with some kind of fluctuation. Left my stbxh 2 months ago and not had any action since

@richdeniro

I saw that thread too and thought it was weird, I almost think if your partner has to earn x amount it’s almost a form of prostitution as that person will only give their time in exchange for a certain income.

I genuinely don’t care what someone earns, my first ex didn’t earn a penny at the time (and hadn’t for quite a few years), and wanted to join an industry that was almost guaranteed to either fail or bring very little money. It was only in the last 8-12 months of the relationship that he started to earn enough to be financially independent. He now significantly out earns me. You just cut your cloth sensibly, when we got together I didn’t mind paying for everything, but he felt a bit funny about it at first so we only did things we could both afford, eventually he was okay with it being joint money so we would do more expensive things without him feeling guilty.

Second ex was a teacher, so not a huge wage, but decent and a very important job. He would have fit that posters ideal where money was concerned, but he was also a bit of a dick.

I kind of know what MrNN earns, but only because he works a junior role in the same sector as me and our sector has fairly consistent pay for various levels in the industry. So I know if he stays in that sector he will end up with a large wage, but it also wouldn’t matter if he did something low paid, or something unskilled as long as it is something he is happy/content with.

theworld it can go either way. For me, menopause and moving on from XH have sent my sex drive through the roof, back to early 20s levels but with no danger of pregnancy. Win win

I have no idea about period prevention and coils, since mine does that for me. I’d guess that you probably can, but you’d need a trip to the GP either way (and they’ll actually know).

My exh didn't earn much when we got back together. He gradually worked his way up and over took me (him with no uni education and me with a degree and post grad). This was while I went part-time to have and raise our children. Luckily, it has worked out for the best now we have separated as he is able to continue to pay part of the mortgage on the family home as well as rent his own place to have the kids part of the time.

Mr SAS gave up his decent full time job to get redundancy to pay his divorce settlement and now works part time to parent his teenage daughter who lives with him. He has taken a drastic pay cut and doesn't have much money but his mortgage is paid off and he is around for his daughter.

I honestly couldn't give a toss. Money has never impressed me. Honesty, kindness and generosity (of the non monetary kind) impresses me. I couldn't be with someone who doesn't work at all (unless can financially support themselves) but you can be rich and be a twat.

I found that money thread rather odd too. Employed and self-supporting is important to me. It is true that in London £45,000 doesn't go far though, with the price of housing.

I'm (still) not post-menopause (I'm 55, and am 7 months without a period so maybe this is it lol), and I agree with Cassettes - I'm horny most of the time ....

I only read the beginning of that thread before I lost interest. Its true 45k isn't much in London. I think the op also explained herself badly. I think she was trying to say she's scrimped and saved since she started working and has done well as a result so is she being unreasonable to find a man with the same financial situation? Don't get me wrong. I'm not agreeing with her. I just think the question got taken out of context.

Has anyone ever given anyone hey weren't interested in who's sent them a message any feedback before?

I've had messages from 2 women who both have awful profiles. To be honest, it comes across they have mental health issues, but I believe they are both genuine. I know as a man how frustrating it can be to send a message and get no response, but should I just leave it?

@SouthernMan have they asked you for feedback? I gave a guy feedback once we were chatting but I wouldn't bother with someone who didn't appeal I would just move on.

@SouthernMan I sometimes used to give feedback but non offensive like 'I would prefer someone older' or 'you live too far away'. Sometimes I had nice chats but other times they tried to argue that they were mature for their age or would be happy to drive 200 miles for me!

Only if they asked.

Saw a guy's profile on fab last week who said he had a very average sized cock. Why would you say something like that? I didn't tell him. He hadnt messaged me in any event...

@Ginmel I guess not everyone has a massive cock and surely it's better to be 'upfront' about These things when you're on a site that is clearly for sex than to risk disappointing someone?

Yes @Sunshineandflipflops but I haven't been told there's lots of women on there that only like big cocks. Even then, he could have written it more positively...

I mean sex is more than about cock size isn't it?

Gimnel I’m not sure what it is with men thinking women prefer big cocks. Sex is about a lot more than cock size, I don’t enjoy sex with bigger men. I also prefer not to know even if I’m just looking for sex, it’s kind of like unwrapping a Christmas present 🤣

I’m seeing my iron again tomorrow for date number 4, I’m not sure when to talk about where things are going? Pretty sure he’s not talking or seeing anyone else and neither am I.

It is, but that site seems to have a much higher proportion of size queens for sure.

Exactly @Lovemusic33

I'm not size-ist either and average is just fine for me but I guess men worry about these things just as women worry about boob size/dress size.

I'd much rather a man know what he's doing with what he has than has the tool but no idea what to do with it.

I guess what I'm trying to say and no pun intended is that I feel like the guy was selling himself short. He was in decent shape and could have said lots of other things to attract the non size queen audience.

@Ginmel my favourite saying is 'it's not the meat it's the motion'