Wtf is going on with dh

[holidayharpie]

I'm currently on holiday. DH has been suffering depression for years and done nothing to help himself despite significant support. I work very long hours and in the run up to the holiday I've been working very long hours for a few months. DC 14 and 16 have been complaining about his behaviour and I have found him difficult. This holiday his behaviour has become bizarre. He's been NC with his parents for 20 years and many of his behaviours are identical to his dads. Examples

1. unable to take any criticism or perceived criticism. This may include a look from dd14 if he flicks sand on her etc, not actually criticism. He flies of the handle, shouting, accusations, storming off.
2. constant threats of leaving the place we are at, the holiday and me.
3. his mouth is constantly hanging open, all day and all night, he didn't do this before.
4. biting his nails, his fingers and scratching his nostrils
5. eating everything, all the food to share, all the snacks etc. Literally stuffing handfuls of crisps etc into iOS mouth. He's always been v slim and was a fitness model, he's looking v out of shape. (I am concerned about him not what he looks like)
6. greedy odd behaviour, ordering 3 courses when everyone's having a snack etc. It doesn't bother me for the money or food, but it's very different to his usual self.
7. sleeping 10+ hours a night and snoring, can't wake up, foul tempered when he wakes up.

What's happening to him? We're all on egg shells in case he has a massive tantrum.
This morning dd wanted a pastry, I said 'oh sorry i think your dad just had the last one' and he went berserk, calling me a liar, saying I was turning everyone against him etc. This was on the veranda of the hotel with other guests around.
It's so hard to manage his moods.
Any ideas?

I just want someone to make it all ok.

That “someone” is you. YOU need to make one phone call (police, GP, friend) to get the ball rolling. Then it will all be OK.

Your children and you are at severe risk right now of violent incident.

You need to get safe.

This has gone on so long because your own childhood was emotionally deficient because your DM didn’t leave and your personal tolerance for abuse is high.

What has he done to your DS?

Give the woman a break!! If someone isnt moving within 2 weeks some of you are so cruel!!
She is getting there! But it is a process, her process, and if you cant cope with that, then fuck of! You dont have to read this.

Holiday harpie - thinking of you, sending you strength. You will get there

She isn't doing anything.

I think you've done a good job to get where you are, despite your troubled childhood. You've obviously managed to keep a lid on your DH for quite some time, but it's clear now that he's getting older that the wheels are coming off. He's going to ruin all your hard work.

Honestly OP, I will probably get flamed for this, but I've been on MN forever, and never have I ever read of a man who I thought was more likely to be the type to drive his family off the edge of a cliff, because the world wouldn't recognise his genius or something. Sorry. But there it is.

She's exhausted and needs to sleep to think straight.

It might be worth giving women's aid a call as they may be able to help with advice. Do phone the police if you feel in danger at any point.

Enjoying kicking OP when she's down @Whisky2014?

Oh please OP, find the strength you need to leave this awful man and have the happier life you and your DC deserve. Your poor kids, witnessing this constant awful behaviour. They must walk on eggshells around him.

@Whisky2014

Oh do go away with your unhelpful comments

Doubt it - more likely to make her leave the thread and never return with you heaping abuse onto her head as well

Whisky i reported you. You are not helping, but you are mean in your comments and risking op not coming back.

You don't know I'm not helping. Maybe she needs tough love..

No I don't.

The thing is op the longer you take to take any action the longer your children have to be in this environment.

I do understand it's far from easy but when are you going to make a change if his behaviour now doesn't spur you on to?

I thought he was bad enough last year, I am honestly worried for you and your children's safety from the descriptions of his recent volatile behaviour.

No!

Glad you have the animals to keep you company, OP. They can be a great support during times of stress.

Hope you manage to get some rest.