Help! Exdp renting out house whilst I'm still in it.

[downbutnotout2018]

I have split with ex but still having to live together. However he has stated letting out the loft room with Airbnb whilst we are still there. Not only is he keeping all the profits. This is also a massive safeguarding risk. He is inviting strangers into our home without my consent. The children are young and we don't have locks on the doors. I have contacted Airbnb but they are being very apathetic. The house is jointly owned by us as tennants in common.

Who could change the locks/add a lock...

I agree with PP who suggested having friends or family stay in the loft room until you have taken the necessary legal steps. He can't stop you and he won't be able to rent it out in the meantime. Good luck OP.

You need to do what I suggested and speak to the next set of guests you can, tell them what’s happening, say you are calling Airbnb with them to sort it out and do so. Do this every time. Airbnb will not put up with having to find guests new accommodation like this & will suspend the listing. That’s what he is trying to tell you yo do!
Look at the calendar on the listing to figure out when it’s booked.

I can't bring myself to make a fuss, it's so horrendously embarrassing.

Jeezus, grow a pair or would you rather your children learned how to be walked all over like a doormat. Yeah just slept on the floor protecting your children, at least you won't be embarrassed.

As I mentioned previously in the short term you go upstairs, thump on the guests' door and chuck them out.

Long term .. get the legal advice and go through the courts.

Think in the 15 years I've been on here, this is the most ridiculous thread ever!

Too embarrassed to make a fuss. Your poor kids. Stop wringing your hands and playing the victim, knock on the guests' door and tell them you're terribly sorry but they have to leave!!!!

I also think it's important that you can show you've taken steps to protect your children. I work closely with SS and child protection plans and they always look at protective factors. You need to step this up ASAP! This is a big safeguarding concern!

That's rather insulting godmother. As I said I said no several times to the last guests and they walked right past me. You don't know much about coercive control.

It’s true though, you are not really doing much to solve this and I don’t mean that in a horrible way but this has gone on because you’ve allowed it I’m afraid. Take action!

I'd be sewing rotten prawns into the curtain linings, collecting dog shit and smearing it over the walls and pouring water over the soft furniture. He clears it up. I do it again.

I'd also be having a nice loud song song to cbebbies from 5am for everyday the guests are there.

It would soon stop.

You’ve mentioned coercive control a couple of times OP - have you gone to the police about it?

OP do you understand what that Air BnB email was quietly telling you to do? James was telling you to refuse guests/make their stay unpleasant because 1) then Air BnB wont pay your ex 2) Air BnB can remove the listing for bad reviews or for being fradulent.

You really need to make a scene to the guests and tell them to get the fuck out of your house.

I get the feeling op isn't going to take anyone's comments on board....

Well I won't be smearing dog shit in my own home that's for sure. I am seeking professional legal advice as some pp have suggested.

Have you downloaded the form I told you about OP ? You can get it from HMCTS. It's called a C100. You can also get a an Occupation Order.
I have no understanding of what you mean by 'it will escalate things'. ? If you have an order for him to leave and he doesn't, then you can call the police.. !

It's entirely up to you. If you have little money then I can explain how you apply for fee exemption and talk you through the whole process. I did this. In secret (ex parte) just had to sit in a county court judges chambers and explain to him what was happening at home. I walked out with an order.

You sound very passive. Which is probably because of a long time with a bully like your ex - but unless you grow a pair and fast . NOTHING will change. I can honestly help you do this . You just have to ask.

Don’t wash bedding or tidy the room - if it becomes difficult and it looks like you don’t care that will hopefully reduce his interest

BurnedToast, what the hell is wrong with you??? This is the OPs home, its where her children live. Smearing dog shit on the walls? Would you do that in YOUR home, for your children to witness?

OP, please listen to Font. Let her talk you through the process. The first step is terrifying.... but then you realise you can do it, you're not the pathetic husk of a woman that your DH thinks you are. You are strong and independent, and you can make decisions in your own life.

Take the door to the guest bedroom off it's hinges. Throw away hinges.

And then file the form at court as someone here has advised you do.

Calm down @Funnylittlefloozie It was a tongue in cheek comment.

I would make the guests stay as uncomfortable as possible that's for sure.

Door hinges are a great at idea

@downbutnotout2018 You may find my post insulting, but yours I find upsetting.

I've read some horrendous things on MN over the years and the women who are too scared or too worn down to change things.

But to not protect your kids cause you're "too embarrassed" well I've heard it all now.

I'm bowing out of this thread. Good luck.

Godmother
You are carefully ignoring the part where op has tried to stop 'guest getying in but they walked past her.
Plus her p can invite anyone he likes into.his house. Without legal steps ok cannot force them to leave.
She has sought legal advice I suggest she follows that not some aggressive advice from people which could make things worse if her p sides with the 'guests' against her. Not only embarrassing but intimidating and puts her in a vulnerable position in her own home.
She has kids to consider getting into an argument in front of them will not be beneficial at all.

Not much to add except fuck off @Alislia17

And @OP I'm always amazed by the arsehole behaviour some people do to their family when there's a seperation. Your ex is a first class twat.

Please find your inner strength to tell the next visitors that your loft is being let without your approval. And so glad to read you're taking legal advice.

@Alislia17 has been on multiple threads overnight getting messages deleted. Been a busy bee....

Could you slip the guests a brief letter explaining your circumstances and ask them to leave a negative review or complain themselves to Airbnb?

@Ellapaella*.......*@Alislia17 was a scam post. I was up late last night I saw it. It said something along thec lines of.... "If you like nice arse visit sxx.com"