Break up support thread

[TinselAndKnickers]

Anyone else going through a breakup?

I'm a week into it. It was nearly 4 years together and it's ended because we lost communication and we just can't do it anymore, it's not the right time. He's said never say never and we've done the stuff swap over so I know I have to accept it and move on. But we love each other and have a lot of respect, so the goodbye was very hard to do. We might reconnect in future but for now we're NC.

Anyone else want a pity party/support thread?

That sucks! It’s just so unfair. And I know it’s pointless to say that cos life isn’t fair but it really is not fair!

Feeling not too bad this morning altho still struggling with sleeping and eating.

Glad you're doing better. I still struggle with sleeping and eating a few weeks on so that's not unusual.

I think he just needs to grow up. He needs to realise that he can't rely on other people for his happiness and he needs to realise life isn't a Hollywood movie. It really sucks and I'm really missing him at the moment but I have to realise he won't be coming back to me with this huge realisation about what a mistake he's made. It hurts, it really does, but I'm slowly coming to terms with it.

@herbsmokedchicken Glad you're feeling a bit better this morning.

I have woke up with this knot in my stomach but I do feel like I'm thinking a little more rationally and realise that maybe we weren't the perfect match. I wonder if I am actually missing him or I am feeling sad because of how amazing I imagined my future with him to be in my head.

My guy came on very very intense at the start (which is a red flag in itself), he was soooo interested, told me he loved me, made plans for the future, I have never felt so comfortable around another human being in my life. Then the last week of our relationship we had an argument and he started to withdraw, started making excuses of why not to see me and texts became less and less and more dry. We met up and talked and he said that everything was fine and that he missed me so I left feeling good, thought we were back on track but things were still awkward, he was still acting very withdrawn. And then he blocked me.

I made a fool of myself by texting basically begging for things to go back to how they were, I must of looked so pathetic and so he blocked me on Sunday night and I have heard nothing since and I know I won't hear from him again.

It's just crazy to me how someone can change their mind so quickly.

Oh wow that’s horrible! Don’t feel bad for texting, it’s so hard not to when you have the option to get in touch with someone right in your hands. I haven’t asked mine to take me back but on that first night I did send a few desperate texts at like 4am which must have been awful to wake up to when he was already feeling like shit over it all. I mean limited sympathy cos he dumped me but it’s hard when they’re not a bad guy. Your one sounds like a bit of a knob, one argument and that’s it, they withdraw?

@herbsmokedchicken yeah and I'm starting to realise that, sometimes I feel a bit angry towards him. When I first met him I told him that I wasn't looking for a relationship as I had other things going on in my life I needed to concentrate on and he pursued me and wouldn't give up or take no for an answer. It was almost as if once he had me he got bored and just decided he didn't want me anymore, like some sort of weird game he enjoys to play. I think there must have been someone else involved if I'm honest.

jonsnow yes I am coming to terms with it a bit more now I think, even if he realises he’s made a mistake tbh I doubt he would act on it as he’d be worried of hurting me again so just need to accept that it’s done. Trying really hard not to dwell on everything we did together as a couple but will probably go a bit downhill this weekend as I’ll not be with him

@chocolateandcash I think some people are like that, they love the chase and the start of a relationship but aren’t interested in developing it into a proper long term thing

@herbsmokedchicken yeah I know what you mean, sometimes it's easier if they're just an arsehole. But when you know the person is a genuinely good person it does make the whole thing harder.

You're very strong to not have sent any begging texts, I am a nightmare for that. Have done it many times. I'm glad he blocked me because it just takes away the urge to message. Although he's not blocked me on Facebook but we never communicated that way anyway.

@chocolateandcash yes I’m rather impressed with myself as normally I have no strength to not send texts. Just normal ones but I’m renowned for it, I’ll constantly text people. One thing this has taught me is that I place far too much importance on texting so I’m trying to cut right down. But there just seemed no point in sending any begging texts because I know he won’t change his mind. And I just wanted to try and keep things as friendly and amicable as possible.

Hi just some advice for you all however hard it is to move on I have decided that it’s a new month and the goal is no contact or seeing him all month then you start the next month. In time you see all the faults and you evaluate your own part in it all.
I would advise you to enjoy being single build up a life not around a man as we have proved they can be fickle and unreliable .
This is helping me get through now and as each day passes the urges should lesson.
Good luck it’s all a part of the trials of this crazy world we live in .

God I am really struggling today. I am so tempted to message him, I don't even know what I would say that I haven't already said. I know rationally this will make me feel 100 x worse but the urge is sooo strong. Ugh. Hate this.

@chocolateandcash be strong! You know messaging him won’t change his mind or make you feel any better.

I’ve been feeling better today but can feel myself going down a bit now, just going to suck tonight, not going round to his. That’s going to take some getting used to. Especially as it’s his birthday on Sunday and I was so looking forward to giving him his presents (luckily not already bought before he dumped me) and just spoiling him.

Even tho it’s nearly two weeks now, I have to say there’s a part of me that still can’t quite believe this has happened.

I am trying to be strong but struggling big time today. I wish I could just sleep for a few months and wake up and be fine.

Do you find yourself wondering if he is thinking about you too? I feel like I have no idea what's going on in his head and I wonder if he's just forgotten me and all my good traits already.

Ahh yeah Sunday may be tough, just try and keep yourself as busy as possible, easier said than done. Are you going to send him a birthday message or no?

Yeah I know what you mean, I just want to be past this stage already.

Yeah I am, it’s all so amicable and it just feels a bit petty not to. Not going to get drawn into conversation about what he is going to do or anything.

Yeah I know what you mean about if they are thinking of you. Because of our conversation yesterday I know he is but I also know he’s doing ok. Well he would be, he knew this was coming, he’s had more time to grieve the end of the relationship.

I'm always wondering if he's thinking about me, but he absolutely wont be because he has effectively replaced me so he won't have the headspace for me. I'm hiding a bit on social media so no one knows what I'm up to, including him.

Stay strong and dont text, I know how tempting it is as I'm tempted to every single day but it won't make any difference :(

How’s everyone doing now? I met my cousin for some lunch ajd a catch up which was lovely, welled up a few times but didn’t cry. Walking home to get some endorphins going altho my mum won’t be home so have a feeling I may end up crying once I get in but never mind, crying can be healing.

I'm SO tempted to text him. But I won't.

Feeling so low today I think it's sinking in that there's going to be no miracle reunion and he left because he doesn't want to be with me. I need to drill it in.

@TinselAndKnickers I felt like that yesterday and whilst I’m feeling OK right now I’m sure it’ll hit me all over again and make me feel awful. It’s so hard to understand how I can still love him so much even though ue doesn’t feel the same anymore

Haven’t been too bad today but can feel myself starting to crash especially as it gets closer to the time I’d normally be going to his for the weekend

Yup def starting to feel it more, I’m out for dinner tho so trying to keep it together. Just can’t help thinking about how I should be heading to his about now

God so much of this thread is just me whinging, sorry everyone!

Just had a big weeping session, thinking about how I should be at his right now and instead I’m not. Every time I think about our weekend routine, it hits me that it’s not going to happen again. Wasn’t an exciting routine but I loved it and I was so happy. I just want to be with him so much.

I feel the same Herb, he should be over at mine watching rubbish tv ready to do something over the next few days. I'm so sad

How are you all now? I resisted texting him today but he went past me on his motorbike earlier as I was turning out of my street. He drove past my house (he works round the corner from my house) and I thought does he even think about me as he is passing my house? It hit me in the gut.

I'm at my friends having some wine just now, feeling a bit better but I know that's just the wine and I'll probably feel horrendous tomorrow
😫

I'm drunk and feeling great! Fuck it girls we're too good for them