Break up support thread

[TinselAndKnickers]

Anyone else going through a breakup?

I'm a week into it. It was nearly 4 years together and it's ended because we lost communication and we just can't do it anymore, it's not the right time. He's said never say never and we've done the stuff swap over so I know I have to accept it and move on. But we love each other and have a lot of respect, so the goodbye was very hard to do. We might reconnect in future but for now we're NC.

Anyone else want a pity party/support thread?

I'm with you herb, short of begging I've cut contact again!!

I'm going to stick to it this time, let's maintain our dignity. So good of you not to text I need that power.

Are you in work tomorrow x

Yeah it’s weird when I had a crush on him I had zero willpower to not text, and used to text loads when we were together, now even tho I want to text him so bad I have actually not struggled to not text him, weird. I want to speak to him so much tho! Two weeks today since we last spoke and that was just me saying happy birthday. When we got together I counted the weeks until eventually I lost track, now I count the weeks since we ended. In a couple of hours it’ll be four weeks exactly. Ugh.

In work tomorrow! Least we’ve got a long weekend coming up. We are going on a short family holiday for the long weekend but as I’ve said upthread it’s somewhere I also wanted to go with him so will have to work hard not to dwell.

How’s everyone else doing this evening?

Still wanting to text, we spoke constantly throughout the day and it's still a big hole that is missing in my daily life.
Took my horse out today to a competition, which is something we started doing together (even though he'd never been around horses before!) So when he left me I really lost the passion for it so getting out today was good for me but I did have a bit of a cry when I got home as I missed him being there with me today supporting me. My friends I was with were very supportive but it's not quite the same! I just miss him so much.

Still struggling, the days and nights seem so long, I want to fall asleep and wake up and for the pain to be over. You wouldn't think I was in my 30s would you.

His reasoning for cheating and going on dating sites, was I was spending to much time on my career, the reason why I was putting all the hours in, i booked us the holiday of a lifetime, he said I was tired a lot, and not giving him enough attention, so thats why he cheated (blaming me and playing the victim card again).

I feel like I've turned into a woman possessed, I keep stalking him on social media, driving myself insane that hes in bed with her.

I cant seem to get motivated to do anything, I'm constantly just looking into space, with tears falling.

You are right, karma will punch him in the face one day and I hope it hurts him.

How is everyone else.

Still miserable. Not hungry.

Honestly it will get better, I promise, even tho I’m miserable I’m so significantly less miserable than I was two weeks ago

I messaged some guy on tinder and we somehow ended up talking about my ex and even he was like wtf how did he just fall out of love with you. I was like, I know right!

Just catching up. Mine is a serial shagger and fucking liar, I realise now. Soooo sad. Wanker. Made me out to be paranoid, what a knob. psychopath. Luckily our friends in common know. He’s a narc. All the usual tricks, gaslighting, lovebombing. How could I be so stupid?

Think I can catch them out but I don’t know if it’s healthy. Wankers the pair of them. Let them have each other. I deserve better.

All of us who’ve been cheated on... we deserve better.

Same with the stalking,even resorted to looking at his browsing history on Amazon 😂🤦‍♀️

Cheating or not the vitcim blaming is a common and unfair theme. It makes it easier if they feel they don't need to face what they've done so justify it through other means.

We are all better than this and deserve men who loves us! (Saying whilst sobbing though do genuinely believe it!)

Very sad tonight and also a bit angry. God I can't cope with the ups and downs!

In a way it's like he's died because the way he is acting now, is not the same person I knew. He's gone.

feeling better after my sobbing session earlier but like I keep saying, there’s just this constant ache of sadness. I wish I could know if he is missing me too.

Feeling so pained. Many texts all day about how surprised he is but all the time we both know he’s lying. Going through and thinking of all those times he was with her...I feel
sick. He even told me he loves me yesterday [

Tinsel yes, is like grieving for the person we thought they were i wish I could say to him...where did you go? Where? At which stage did he decide?

I’m tearing myself apart.

I can’t believr he had the gall to send me photos of us from last week saying he doesn’t understand, when all the time he is cheating.

I want to text him, but I must stay dignified.

I want to write this:

———————-
I’m so sad and I’m in so much pain. I feel so upset. very upset that I had to end our relationship.

Only you know why there was always such a lack of clarity & why plans continuously changed all the time. But it hurt me far too many times.

That photo was taken when you could be bothered to focus on being with me. But it proved too much bother.

———————-
I feel heartbroken.

Soooo many lies. What a cheat he turned out to be.

Oh summer that’s awful but keep staying strong and dignified.

How’s everyone feeling this morning? I’m shattered, didn’t get to sleep till gone two. Not actually for heartbreak reasons tho, I got up a little late and can’t sleep at night when I do that. Anyone else have that? It’s only this weekend that I’ve been able to lie in tho, the last few weeks I’ve not been able to face it and have just gotten straight up, so that’s progress. Not the same lying in on my own tho.

Spent years waking up alone, but got so used to waking up with him guess I’ll get used to waking up alone again.

Hello all,please can I join. Nearly a month in, initiated by me. We had been together for two years living separately and seeing each other every weekend. We had a wonderful time but slowly I started to notice his controlling and selfish ways. He started labelling me and each time I was upset with him he would manage to twist it such that it would seem I was the unfair one. Told me I had stopped him seeing his friends which was untrue, that I was a gold digger, bad mother etc. He attached my core values, I pride myself with being a person of integrity, I am kind to people, empathise and because of his name calling I started to try harder to show him I wasn't that person until I had a light bulb moment that I was being manipulated and I am not a bad person. My emotions range from feeling a absolute rage at someone thinking that of me and making me feel worthless to happiness that I dumped him.

I miss our daily chit chat but that is about it. I can't believe I gave my heart to someone who ended up being such an asshole. I hadn't contacted him since we split up but messaged him this weekend as he had sent me a weird message with negative results from the STI clinic saying one less thing to worry about as if I had been fucking around. Replied saying thanks for sharing and he said that took you a while to respond and I said I guess it did.

I posted a WhatsApp status yesterday wishing my mum happy birthday and next thing he had messaged her saying happy birthday .

I could go on and on, thankfully the chances of me bumping into him are minimal. I have to admit that I am enjoying being single.

Does anyone else keep reliving that fateful day you found out? Or wondering when his feelings started to change towards you? I feel like I'm stuck in some sort of time warp, I'm so frustrated that I have more questions than answers, and the only person who has the answers is that dick head.

I'm pleased to say I havent cried yet this morning, but feeling angry.

Needed to go and stock up on ciggerets and bananas, sat in the car, who pops up on the radio - Adele, obviously singing about heartache! The radio was swiftly turned off.

How is everyone else feeling?

I would also like to say thank you, for listening to my ramblings

@feistymumma if you want to, you can exclude him from seeing future statuses on WhatsApp in the privacy settings.

mumcomehere we are always happy to listen to ramblings! God knows I ramble plenty.

I haven’t been reliving as much lately but still randomly pops into my head. Yesterday was torturing myself analysing text messages trying to work out exactly when he started to fall out of love with me. It’s horrible. Four weeks in I think I’m finally starting to believe it a little bit habit that makes the grief hit afresh tbh! It’s a long road for sure.

*a little bit but that makes

Thank you @brookelopez

@Mumcomehere I hear you, I was constantly agonizing about when he started to see me in such a bad light while I was oblivious and loving him with all my heart. When I think about it it makes me feel so stupid. It is natural to get those feelings but don't let them consume you. It's his loss.

I feel like shite

Oh no tinsel, any reason or just generally shite? Same tho, gets worse as the day goes on.

If this break up had happened to be back in my late teens/early twenties when I used to post all sorts of emotional stuff on fb I’m sure I’d have posted loads abojf this, as it is I’ve just posted as normal and everyone will work it out because he’s not tagged and no photos. But I still get the urge. So every now and again I will post something mundane and only I know it’s a very subtle dig at A. Doubt even he knows as subtlety is not his strong point.

But I know.

I feel like shite too Tinsel, not that it helps you.
I just wish he'd phone and apologise. 3 weeks tomorrow. It's not going to happen is it.