Break up support thread

[TinselAndKnickers]

Anyone else going through a breakup?

I'm a week into it. It was nearly 4 years together and it's ended because we lost communication and we just can't do it anymore, it's not the right time. He's said never say never and we've done the stuff swap over so I know I have to accept it and move on. But we love each other and have a lot of respect, so the goodbye was very hard to do. We might reconnect in future but for now we're NC.

Anyone else want a pity party/support thread?

Welcome border, again I’m sorry you have to be here but I’m sure you will be strong! You’ve taken the first step.

Thanks herbs am going to take it carefully, we are not married but together 16 yrs. just have to keep telling myself that the kids will be ok eventually. There is no other option.

Oh Border I am so sorry

Oops posted too soon. I’m sorry you have been lied to as well. Cocaine is shut. Hold it together for your kids and empower yourself, sweetie. It will be ok

I know I should sleep but my stomach with all the lies he told me. Gaslighting fucker.

Had a dream I went to see him to talk it all through and it was clear he had no interest. Depressing dream. But better than a false hope dream I guess cos I always wake up thinking I’m psychic and it’s a sign.

How are we all doing today? I went for a lovely swim earlier. Chilling out for a bit now I’ve had some lunch and then going to get my room sorted. Think I’ve said this before on here but I was messy for years and years, once I got into my late 20s I would tidy my room fairly regularly instead of leaving it for months, but it would still be chaos for days. and then when I got with A, it suddenly clicked, and my room was always tidy, made my bed every day. Since we broke up, it’s nothing like as messy as it was but I’ve not been able to keep it nice and tidy. Like it was only coz I was finally so happy and content that it was reflected in my room. But shouldn’t have to rely on another person for that! So going to tidy it today and then make sure I go back to how I was, keeping it clean and tidy all the time. I don’t want to go back to chaos.

Can I join to? I'm a week in, still havent slept properly, surving on a banana a day and water.

Do the tears ever stop rolling?

Hello mumcomehere! Sorry you’ve had to join us.

Ahh I remember the sleeplessness and not eating. Four weeks in I’m still so sad and still cry a lot but I have come so far compared to how I was. Maybe a little too far, currently tucking into some cheese tasters from M&S (anyone else think that’s quite an odd name? Sounds like a sample). It does get better, slowly but surely. I know I still have a way to go but I’m getting there. The lows aren’t as low and don’t last as long but I do have a constant, ever present feeling of general sadness.

Another one off food. In that horrible stage with discussions on text. Head hurts.
TRying to think of nice things. Friends, nice stuff to do. I will have more cash and time.

Ugh. Compared to a couple of weeks ago I feel so much better but I still miss him all the time. Every second. I think of things I wanted to show him still about my home since he’s not from here. Films I wanted to watch with him. Holidays we were going to take. I miss just lazing around in his bed, watching stuff on YouTube. I miss him holding me. It’s a process and I’m getting there but I miss him so, so much.

I get that, Herb. Reaching for your phone to share something with your ex - then remembering he just wouldn't fucking care any more.

I keep seeing memes that only he and I would get and I can’t send them to him! And after being single so long I loved being able to tag him in relationship memes and now they just hurt. Ugh I still love him so much. It hurts that the love he had for me didn’t last.

I went out last night and four people asked for my number!! I didn't give it to any of them but it was nice to know I still got it

Very sad he's acting like he doesn't give a fuck. It's his sisters birthday today and she sent me a lovely message thanking me for the gift I feel glad I haven't risen to any of the petty behaviour and I took the kind route instead of being a nutter. However I took a great pic to upload later on show him what he's missing and all that.

Ah that’s nice! Good to know indeed!

That’s nice that his sister liked the gift. Good to take the high road!

Definitely agree with posting the pic! I took a lovely selfie the other day so made sure to post it, not with any petty caption or anything but just to remind him. Not that I think it’ll have affected him but there we go...

TinselAndKnickers honestly not being arsey but women uploading pics of themselves to show the ex what they're missing is a bit cliche. Much better to keep some mystery, or show pics of interesting places you've been to. Especially if it's somewhere you've never been to with him!

I noticed when one of my exes uploaded a pic of himself in some great scenery, I wasn't at all interested in how he looked, but was intrigued by where he was!

I feel like I loathe myself as I wasnt obviously good enough, he cheated and lied.

Back 3 years ago when we first got together, he would tell me all the time that he knew he was punching way above his weight, and he thanked his lucky stars. Now hes strutting around like a peacock thinking hes the don.

The night after I found out about his cheating and lies, I sent a rant email off to jom, calling him all the names under the sun, and told him that I hope he feels the pain, he has inflicted on me one day - apparently this was a threat , so now his family have become involved due to my threatening email! This is the family who also knew what he had been up to for the last 3 months and I was the last to know!

So as it stands I'm the toxic one that he needs to stay away from, and he doesn't think he will ever be able to forgive for the rant email.

I'm not sure how this become all about him and how everyone needs to feel sorry for that bastard, when he was the cheat.

I'm sorry I'm rambling, I needed to get this out in the open.

Mariana it wasn't serious, I'd be uploading the picture anyway. This whole thread is a bit cliche but here we are anyway!

Mum oh god, they will find anything to let themselves be the victim! Head held high and one day he'll get a big fat punch in the face from karma

Just had an absolutely massive crying session, I’m feeling really, really low. I just miss him and I want him back so so much. Why has this happened? It’s not fair, we were so happy.

Herb, I feel so sorry for you. It's shit when you feel you've found the perfect partner then suddenly the rug is pulled from under you. I felt like this when my DH left me decades ago. I no longer feel the pain of course, but I remember thinking I'd rather he'd died than be alive but no longer wanting me. It's truly an appalling grief we go through.

I just wrote a massive text to him with all my feelings. Not actually going to send it (I wrote it in notes so no chance of accidentally pressing send) but just needed to get my feelings down. Don’t really feel any better tho. Like I know it’s all so cliché and everyone feels this way but it doesn’t help me to feel less shit.

I have an email saved in my draft.. No address on it.
Everytime I want to taxt him or I have stuff I want to say I write it there instead.
It makes me feel better getting it all out and I haven't compromised myself by messaging so I completely understand herb