Break up support thread

[TinselAndKnickers]

Anyone else going through a breakup?

I'm a week into it. It was nearly 4 years together and it's ended because we lost communication and we just can't do it anymore, it's not the right time. He's said never say never and we've done the stuff swap over so I know I have to accept it and move on. But we love each other and have a lot of respect, so the goodbye was very hard to do. We might reconnect in future but for now we're NC.

Anyone else want a pity party/support thread?

Should be cuddled up with him rn instead of in bed alone

@herbsmokedchicken tough love time again...

No you shouldn't! Because you aren't together. You would be if you were, but you're not. His loss! Next weekend plan something else, you were fine 10 months ago and you'll be fine soon enough have a dance party in your room, not a pity party!

I know it's easier said than done but We will get there

But I should! Because he has made a terrible mistake! The twat.

Next week we are away so that’ll be something different. It’s somewhere nearby that I had hoped he and I would also go to so I’ll have that on my mind a little bit probably, but we’ve got lots of fun stuff planned.

Had my first lie in in weeks! Haven’t been able to stay in bed for long since we broke up but today had a nice lie in. Woke up because I had a grief induced row with my sister tho

Sorry you argued with your sister but it's great you managed a lie in!

I still feel flat and a bit lost but it seems the utter devestaion I have felt for a months is slowly leaving me.
Is this the start of getting over him?

Oh I didn’t clarify, the row was in my dream! She told me I was smelly and had egg on my face and mum laughed so I screamed at them both then stormed up and locked my bedroom door and started crying, but in the dream it was all because I was so upset about A. It was very realistic, it’s exactly the kind of stupid thing we argue about!

I am feeling just low and meh today, not cried yet tho! Yesterday I didn’t cry until nearly 7.

Also sorry if this is rude, not sure if you are new to the thread or have NC?

Oops yes sorry NC for a thread yesterday 🙈🙈

I think I know who you are but please do confirm!

Ugh feeling low. I just miss him SO MUCH. I’m trying not to dwell, i really am, but it’s just constantly there in the back of my mind, no matter what I’m doing or who I’m with, there’s just this constant feeling that something is missing.

Me too herb, how awful. Are you completely no contact?
I'm still messaging mine as friends which is horredondous but I feel addicted to him.

I wish he would block me and stop keeping me in his back pocket, he must know I can't help speaking to him, but then I ask him to be friends.

So messed up, I keep thinking he'll want to get back but then I think why would I? He doesn't acknowledge the pain he caused me for months, still doesn't think he did anything wrong.
I go from thinking he's the best to thinking he's awful.

I wish I could fast forward time, what are you doing today? Do you have energy to do anything to distract yourself?

Yeah no contact, I’m hopeful we will be friends again one day but I’m not there yet.

I would really recommend going NC, it’s hard enough getting over it without speaking them!

I keep getting this little shred of hope but I know he won’t come back! We need to accept it!

Know what you mean about fast forwarding time! I just want to feel OK already, I’m so sick of feeling sad. Not much on, need to do some housework, but my sister has some friends visiting so we are going to go to hers for tea later to see them which will be nice.

Uuuuuuuugggghhhh why has this happened to me??? It is NOT FAIR. I know it’s ridiculous to say as life isn’t fair and people endure far, far worse things but for FUCKS sake. This is bullshit.

It’s so hard not to dwell on stuff! Like we are getting ready to head out to my sisters and I keep thinking well if he hadn’t dumped me we’d have been getting ready to leave his now to come get mum and then go. And it’s pointless thinking that cos it’s not what’s happening but so hard to stop myself. I think the few days it’s gotten a little worse but prob cos it’s the weekend so feeling it more.

About this time 5 weeks ago we were having sex, it was our last ever Saturday together. But I didn’t know! He knew it might be, he knew he was falling out of love with me, but I had no idea that that was our last Saturday. My heart is so broken.

Oh herb, mine too. It sounds to dramatic but I feel so lost.

How can they get on with their lives, I just feel like screaming things could have been so wonderful.

I guess you can't make somebody love you back they way you want them too. What a terrible time 😣xx

I went out and had fun but my social capacity filled up about half an hour before me and mum left. And I’m so angry that now I’m home with my mum who I love but stresses me out and doesn’t shut up when normally I’d be with A, i never needed space from him. We’d get back to his and just relax and enjoy the quiet.

And yes it hurts so much that they don’t love us but we still love them. Keep getting “Still Hurting” from the musical Five Years in my head.

My sister filled her friends in on the situation before I got there and it eventually got brought up but luckily not in detail. One of them said I was doing very well and i just smiled coz I didn’t want to get into it but i thought, only on the outside. There was not a moment I wasn’t thinking of him.

Oh herb 😔 I think it's a fake until you feel it really
Well done for going, I've had a good sob today.

Music is the worst! I've been trying to listen to upbeat stuff but inevitably go back to the sad songs to have a good cry to!

Not sure if it's the weekends which are worse, hugs to you all xx

I haven’t RTFT but please can I join you?

Found out earlier that boyfriend of over a year is a cheating fuck. No point even telling him that’s why il splitting up with him. Better leave him wondering if I’ve guessed or not.

Fucking fucker horrid man. I hate him.

Yeah had a good sob earlier! Just miss him so much all the time.

I’m sorry you are suffering, Herb and Bebe and others...

I am feeling empowered right now for having discovered he’s a liar. But I’m sure it will hit me.

I do think he loved me, but I think he wants to have his cake & eat it He is pretending to be bewildered but it’s a farce. His ego can’t take being dumped, but my dignity and self respect come first.

Let’s be dignified, everyone.

Oh sunmer, welcome but I’m sorry you have to be here! How awful for you being cheated on. This is your space to whine or wallow or say whatever you want when you have to put a brave face on for everyone else.

Thank you so much, Herb.
Mixture of emotions but mainly relief that I worked it out... so many lies

I need to join too.
Cocaine lies and god knows what else and I have had enough.
Have given him too many last chances in the past.
We have 3 dc, they are my only concern now.
Don’t know how I am going to manage but I will.
So angry.