Break up support thread

[TinselAndKnickers]

Anyone else going through a breakup?

I'm a week into it. It was nearly 4 years together and it's ended because we lost communication and we just can't do it anymore, it's not the right time. He's said never say never and we've done the stuff swap over so I know I have to accept it and move on. But we love each other and have a lot of respect, so the goodbye was very hard to do. We might reconnect in future but for now we're NC.

Anyone else want a pity party/support thread?

Leaving work today is gonna suck - was hard enough last time but at least I knew that he wasn’t actually in town and I wouldn’t have been seeing him anyway. Today I’ve got to leave work, not see his car, then get on a bus that goes past his house and know that I should be in that house.

herb can you do something else when you finish work instead of going straight home?
Take a different route home?

I know what it's like I have virtually stopped doing anything we used to do. I have even changed supermarkets as I can no longer shop where we used to buy are lovely meals for nights in! We are foodies so shopping was always a happy couply thing we did.

Annoyingly no, I have to give my mum a lift out or I would maybe try to do something different! And it’s my only option for bus route home. But I guess it’ll suck but then next week hopefully suck a bit less and so on. Well actually next week I won’t be here by then as we are away that weekend, which will have its own trials, but it’ll help shake up the routine I guess.

Yeah I find it hard going in shops we used to go into! But they are handy shops so I haven’t stopped going but does make me so sad. It’s a small town here and when we got together I rushed to show him all these places I love, which means when I go back there now with my family there are ghosts of us everywhere.

It's shit isn't it

This person was so involved in our lives they touched every aspect of it then just dissappeared. It makes me never want to let another man in to my life in such away.

If I ever meet anyone else I fear I will put up such big barriers and not fully involve them in my life that I will push them away completely.

I was told about the cheating and dumped by text too :( which I think is just disgusting behaviour, he couldn't even say it to my face. It annoyed me more because he could then stop and think about his replies rather than just saying it.
Urgh. Just feeling so bad, he treated me terribly over it all (was so so lovely up until then!) But I can't help but want him back.

It reminds me of SATC when Carrie was dumped by post it note.

Yeah that is so bad! At least A did it face to face. I even told him that, I was like I hate that this has happened but I appreciate how you’ve done it as he was very kind with the way he did it. And he let me shout at him. It was his first time breaking up with someone and sure he wished he could do it by text. So in some ways I feel bad being so upset coz our break up has been so much “nicer” than a lot of yours but guess just doesn’t change the fact that I love him and want to be with him and it hurts so much!

And yes penny I worry about putting up barriers. I never worried A would cheat on me or we’d row, I always was so afraid that the love would just fade away and that’s exactly what happened! So when I’m ready to date again I know I’m going to be petrified that I’ll fall in love and it will happen again.

I'm in a really weird state. I just have to get over it .

broken same but it’s hard! It’s frustrating because whilst we can help ourselves by not wallowing, we can’t make ourselves get over it. We have to wait.
But I want to feel better NOW

herb, so do I. All we can do is keep busy and move on.

Get that novel out and read.

Stood in the rain in the bus instead of being nice and dry in A’s car. That bastard.

*waiting for the bus

Not hurting as much as I expected which is good. House to myself tonight tho so I expect I’ll have a jolly good cry.

And now I’ve crashed. How’s everyone else doing? I just feel like shit. I miss him so much.

I am a bit flat.
Not the heartbreaking sadness but just missing him. We would not have seen each other tonight but we would be chatting on the phone telling each other about our day.
I miss his voice.... I sound like some cheesy movie 🤣

I am sorry you got wet herb maybe hot bath good book glass of wine?

I’m about to watch a film but it’s def something we would have watched together so not sure if it will help or not! I am struggling tonight, actually been gasping for breath at some points. I think i might be hitting a new stage in the grieving process as I’ve been feeling angry too. Mostly I just hurt though. I was everything he had been waiting for, why did he fall out of love with me? He said he didn’t know and I believe him but how much effort did he really make to unpack his subconscious feelings?

It's not easy is it. I feel so down.

He's put that he loves travelling in his tinder bio. He's never fucking been anywhere except Lanzarote with me! Fuck off you desperate dick

He's acting like someone I don't know. I feel let down by him.

Evening all. Sorry to see some of you are feeling deflated today ❤ sending love!

I have to face him and his family again tomorrow when they come to collect his stuff. Our joint account is overdrawn so it needs paying off before I can close it down. I also need to ask his step dad to be my guarantor as he's the only one that earns enough...hoping keeping a roof over his grandson's head is a good enough reason to ask.

Never going to be rid of them. It's fucking awful 😩😩

It’s awful eh! Like I just can’t quite believe after all that time of wanting him so desperately, I got him, and then he went away!
I feel bad moaning about my life as compared to so many people I know I have it good but I’ve always felt like all my life I’ve never been number one, never been the best at anything, never been anyone’s favourite, the one who gets left out, the one who is never quite good enough. My life has always been good but like, that little bit shit. and finally I was properly happy, I felt like for once I’d come out on top. And I just can’t believe it’s over. And I know we don’t need other people to complete ourselves but he did just seem like the missing piece. And now he’s gone. Well he’s not gone, he’s ten minutes down the road, but he may as well be in China.

I'm like that too. Time for me to stop feeling sorry for myself and take the night off I think.

I am enjoying the film BUT can’t help wishing I was watching it with A cos he’d love it.

His loss.

He's put that he loves travelling in his tinder bio. He's never fucking been anywhere except Lanzarote with me! Fuck off you desperate dick

I don't think I have smiled today but that made

Oh herb if it helps I was, am that person on the edge of everyone's life. Always watching from the sidelines just greatful to be included that far.
You have so much to offer and there will be another who recognises that and wants to be your important person.