Break up support thread

[TinselAndKnickers]

Anyone else going through a breakup?

I'm a week into it. It was nearly 4 years together and it's ended because we lost communication and we just can't do it anymore, it's not the right time. He's said never say never and we've done the stuff swap over so I know I have to accept it and move on. But we love each other and have a lot of respect, so the goodbye was very hard to do. We might reconnect in future but for now we're NC.

Anyone else want a pity party/support thread?

Morning all and welcome Miss.

He was my first thought this morning but it didn't come with the usual feeling of devestation. Oh god I hope this lasts.
I still feel sad but now it's more sadness that he dumped me due to other stress in is life instead of turning to me for support.

In desperation to feel wanted I joined a few OLD apps when we split up. Chatted to loads of perverts, creepy men and those who just want sex and frankly it was depressing and I was starting to dislike men. That said I could not bring myself to delete the apps as they did serve as a distraction from constantly thinking about him.
Anyway when I got home I deleted them all. I don't need them or the pervy creeps on there.

Feeling hope is the worst thing. It literally stops you moving on as all you do is cling to it just in case. You dare not move an inch in your life just in case he walks back in and you are frightened you will miss the chance.
Once you let go of the hope it gets easier quicker than you think.

I’m genuinely trying to let go of the hope! But it just doesn’t seem to have clicked in my brain yet. But today is two weeks since we last had an actual conversation and Sunday will be four weeks since we split so I’m hoping it’ll happen soon. I just want to move on and feel better instead of just missing him. It’s constant. No matter what I’m doing, he’s in the back of my mind.

herb letting go of the hope is not something you can "do" it just happens and that trigger can be anything from waking up one day and it just being gone or enough time has passed that hope is no longer there.

Last week I honestly thought I would rather die than live without him. Not that I was suicidal but dying seemed less painful living.
Today for reasons I cannot explain I can breath without having to remind myself.

This thread is really helpful and having you all there to listen and advise and share my crazy thoughts has been a godsend.

So this weekend I’ve found out that he was messaging her inappropriately behind my back while we were still together, that’s the most I have found out and it’s enough to kill whatever I felt for him. He is a vile scumbag who doesn’t have a loyal bone in his body. Everything I felt for him has died and I now realise I’m worth ten of him.

Yeah I hope the hope doesn’t take too long to go cos it’s horrible. I just want it to truly get into my head that it’s over.

I have that hope thing too, I don't know why, i know he's never coming back but i cant seem to get it out my head. He even told me not to get my hopes up the last time I saw him!
It's so hard knowing that he literally does not give a shit about me when I'm so hung up on him still.

This meme made me think of us lol

Yeah it’s hard, he made it clear he had made up his mind and I know him well enough to know he puts his feelings away, he’s not going to sit dwelling on it. It’s over. But my brain just not ready to believe it yet I guess.

Yeah that meme is definitely me too!

I did think their feelings go the instant it ends but I don't think that's entirely true now. I think they still feel but they can reason against it if that makes sense.

I think they have regret later on, long after we have managed to get ourselves back on life and have but it all behind us.

I am still replaying last nights conversation in my head and each time I do I feel a little better.
What me crash and burn next week and be all pathetic and sad again 🤣😭

I think mine had completely pushed any residual feelings far down so he can get on with his new relationship. I don't believe what he was saying as his excuses for cheating, there was absolutely nothing that showed. Just so down about it all today, really really miserable. I miss him so much, how do you even get over this feeling?
I hate the thought of him doing stuff with her that he should have been doing with me, or talking to her all day like her did with me. Why is he able to just switch his feelings like that. It's all so unfair

I know it’s horrible. I know A felt sad but not sad like me. And I do think he is probably not missing me. This time two years ago we didn’t know each other and I think he’s probably just gotten used to how life pre-herb was (a lot quieter for sure)

Oh WHY has this happened??? We were so happy, why did he fall out of love with me????

In the shop after work think I was actually on the verge of a panic attack (only had one before) but managed to calm myself down.

Oh poor herbs. I was a bit oh there's a bank holiday weekend coming up and he'll be taking her somewhere, and oh how long has it been going on for but I don't know anything and can't control any of it.
It doesn't make it hurt any less but I'm going to just have to accept that he is not coming back.

Yeah I had a really bad couple of hours! Eased off a bit now

I’m trying to accept it! Sometimes it clicks for a bit...it’s frustrating knowing something and yet not being able to quite believe it.

Evening girls. Well I went to work today and was really difficult, got through it the best way I could. On the way home I had my swimming kit in my boot of the car and I thought right I’m going to go to my local gym which is a gorgeous gym. Jacuzzi, steam room, sauna everything really and I did go. Anxious to start of with because last time I went I was with the ex husband. I did 100 lengths and I just kept counting them and swimming. Was an amazing distraction and will be going every day now. Just thought I’d give a suggestion. I’ve come home and I’m actually hungry for once. And I’m going to watch a film. My daughter is out all night, she’s nearly 18 so house to myself. My cat is having a complete mad fit (haven’t a clue) and I’m going to enjoy my time tonight on my own. Try swimming. It’s defo helped me today xx

Oh that’s really good that it helped you! It’s weird actually, I live by the beach and I just have not been able to swim! Think I said that already. Will try again tho.

Went for a spin with my friend, we’ve been texting but first time we’ve had to talk properly. Talking about it fresh made me realise it really is quite odd how his feelings change, and she agrees with me that he possibly is mistaking the initial spark being gone for the love being gone but I know there’s no point dwelling coz he’ll never come back even if he does regret it. I do think he’s made a mistake tho. But what can I do? Nothing but move on. Feeling better for a good chat. Altho did cry a lot lol.

I know there’s no point dwelling coz he’ll never come back even if he does regret it. I do think he’s made a mistake tho. But what can I do? Nothing but move on.

This is exactly how I feel. Been to my dads tonight who lives approx 8 houses down from my ex, and I'm sobbing because he viewed my story of the dog and he will have known I'm close by. I don't want him to be hurting but I do wonder if he misses me, wants to talk to me.. or is pride getting in the way? How's he feeling?

Yes I don’t want mine to be in pain but like does he even miss me anymore? Is he sad? Does he wish he’d tried harder? Think I might be heading to the anger stage cos more I think of it, more I think he’s been a bit hasty and ridiculous. But I guess I don’t know how he feels so maybe if I could somehow magically feel it I’d be like oh yeah ok he’s right. But all I can do is speculate

But hey, doggy! You got to spend time with a dog! That’s always good. I just have a mardy cat. I always wanted those pets people talked about who would come and comfort them when they cried but all the pets I’ve ever had just looked confused (dog) or disgusted (cats)

I live with a very sweet cat but my god she's annoying! She bit me for no reason when my ex left my house after dumping me, the fat twat

That sounds like something mine would do! Heartless beasts!

I am feeling bloody sad tonight

Morning all. I also have a twat cat who refused to let me sob uncontrollably in to her fur

Morning all. Woke up too early and faced that after all those years I was dumped by text.

Aww broken that’s so harsh that it was text but honestly he sounds like an absolute knob if I’m honest. Know doesn’t help how you feel.

Woke up this morning and already forgot my dreams but think he was involved. As always on a Friday I thought “this time tomorrow I’ll be asleep still” but then remembered I will be alone and in my own bed but not feeling too bad at the mo

Oh Broken we can start a club... 5 years and I was dumped by email while I was at work!
It's just so disrespectful and dismissive that they felt we were not worthy enough of being told in person. It just shows what absolute cowardly shits they are and that they do not deserve our tears or sadness.

We can do better than cowardly lowlife. We deserve better. X