Break up support thread

[TinselAndKnickers]

Anyone else going through a breakup?

I'm a week into it. It was nearly 4 years together and it's ended because we lost communication and we just can't do it anymore, it's not the right time. He's said never say never and we've done the stuff swap over so I know I have to accept it and move on. But we love each other and have a lot of respect, so the goodbye was very hard to do. We might reconnect in future but for now we're NC.

Anyone else want a pity party/support thread?

This has been working for me,
Breathe in deeply counting 1,2,3,4,5 then exhale counting to 5...
And definitely exercise. Distracts the brain. X

Yes def need to get exercising and my appetite is coming back wit a vengeance so need to curb that before I end up bingeing!

Can I join in the pity party please? 18 days now since some stranger came to my door to tell me my husband and partner of 17 years was having an affair. Crazy ups and downs, feel ok some days and like I may die the next. 3 year old soon is the only thing keeping me going. Also have a job interview on thursday. Not worked since 2012 when we moved to the middle east for his career.

Hi Boozy feel free to join us I only joined a few days ago but this thread really is helping me.
I am so sorry this happened to you.

Welcome Boozy, so sorry this is happening to you. This is your space to vent and whine and wallow as much as you want! No judgement here. How are you feeling about the interview?

Oh god boozy so sorry to hear that. Wow what a shock. Yep exactly what the others have said. It’s a safe place to whine, and vent and everything else. X

Ahh nearly time to leave late shift, hope it doesn’t hurt as much as last time. Does anyone get a rally strong feeling your ex is going to turn up somewhere or contact you even tho you know they won’t? Feeling like he will be outside. But he won’t. He wouldn’t be anyway but, and this is crucial - he has no idea I’m still at work. So no way he would be there. But I know I’m still going to feel a little surprised when I go out and he’s not there.

Well he wasn’t there but phoned mum to see if she needed anything from the shop and she offered to pick me up so that’s nice

Do feel weepy tho

Does anyone get a rally strong feeling your ex is going to turn up somewhere or contact you even tho you know they won’t?

Every damn day Herb.

Mine is a stubborn arse and he won't lower himself to contact me. Begging was always my role.
I just keep reminding myself he left me months ago that's why he does not care now we are over.
The last 2 days have been the worse yet for me being pathetic and fantasising about him.
It's killing me.

Mine just accepts that I’m not ready and also has prob moved on past the point of missing me texting him - he was never into texting as much as me anyway. And he knows me better than to randomly show up somewhere, he’d know that would fuck me up. But yeah I would say today has been my worst day for thinking he might come back to me. Dunno why I felt like that tho.

I felt the same way when we were friends and I fancied him so much - it seems so bizarre that you can want someone so much when they don’t want you.

Not gonna become a stalker don’t worry...

Poor you Boozy. That's terrible.
Hugs all round.

I was horrified when I saw the search history on my work mobile despite having been careful not to. No more searching for anything like that again. I've switched off Nearby now. Wasn't stalking just looking for some proof of what had been going on. 2 weeks and he's not been in touch.
How could I have been so stupid as to believe we were for keeps?

It’s fucking scary how few relationships last. Like I know I’m being so negative right now but it terrifies me. I’m supposed to eventually move on and find someone new and trust he won’t fall out of love with me or cheat or whatever? I thought this would last and it didn’t and it’s agony. I don’t want to live without love but I don’t want to feel this again withers

*either

herbsmokedchicken there'll be someone who comes along and will stay. Who you will love he will love you back.

From your posts in here you are a funny, kind, supportive woman who I bet is a great catch. He doesn't deserve you, and you'll be laughing at the memory of him soon enough.

Ladies remember how strong we all are, with or without a man

I would not normally dig around online, other than basic checking, but I dug around because of all the flags.

I hope it was just an EA and that she kicks him into touch.

Yes we are strong and we will rebuild our lives.

Aww thanks bebe that’s kind. It’s so hard to imagine it now especially as all I want is him. He wasn’t perfect as who is but he was wonderful and I miss him so much still.

I hear you, it's so sad isn't it. No one is perfect but there is the perfect one for us and when we are ready they'll come..

I'm trying not to allow this to cloud my judgement as I know there are good men out there who are true to their word and not spineless or cheats!

The waves of emotion are so difficult aren't they? I'm in the anger phase which is preferable to the sadness!

I’m still not getting anger! Mostly just denial and sadness.

The anger will come, it feels the same as grieving doesn't it?

It's so helpful when it does, I'm going to keep hold of this for as long as I can! It beats feeling rubbish, going to try to be proactive and start enjoying my old hobbies. I think this expierence has made me forget who I am in an odd way..

It’s definitely a type of grief. I actually have found this harder to deal with than losing my dad which I know some people may find awful but it’s true. With my dad, we knew it was coming for a start, plus it wasn’t his choice, there was nothing he could do, he was ill and I understand it. I’m struggling to understand how A is still here, still alive, just not in love with me anymore and choosing not to be with me.

I agree, I had the sadness and now the anger has set in. Some friends a couple have invited me to wales for the weekend in their motorhome which is great. Someone else invited me to walk up a mountain..haha
I’ve had no contact now since Friday and it’s really working.. still feel sad but it comes in waves. Think it’s because I’ve gone back to work today and that has really helped.
Has anyone gone through breakups in the past. If so what happened? We got through it and we met someone else. This will happen again no doubt about it x(I don’t want this yet but it’s something to think about) xx

Yeah at the grand old age of 32 (jokes) this is my first ever break up and yeah it sucks as much as I imagined it would. Back hun the day I thought I’d be married and settled by now, not going through my first break up!