Break up support thread

[TinselAndKnickers]

Anyone else going through a breakup?

I'm a week into it. It was nearly 4 years together and it's ended because we lost communication and we just can't do it anymore, it's not the right time. He's said never say never and we've done the stuff swap over so I know I have to accept it and move on. But we love each other and have a lot of respect, so the goodbye was very hard to do. We might reconnect in future but for now we're NC.

Anyone else want a pity party/support thread?

I'm still a one person pity party.

You can't be... We're here too

I’ve been trying to avoid that as it makes me feel
Worse so I’ve been trying to develop new routines and go to different places to create new memories in my head.
Still feeling pretty crap. Just thinking of him texting someone else (but I keep reminding myself it’s a rebound) and I should feel sorry for the girl.
I phoned in sick again today but I am definitely going back in tomorrow. The loneliness is a killer xx

Yeah I wasn’t doing too bad at one point but feeling it again now. I just want him back so much. Just want him to come and say that the break made him realise he really does love me and can we try again. He won’t tho.

Yeah I wasn’t doing too bad at one point but feeling it again now. I just want him back so much. Just want him to come and say that the break made him realise he really does love me and can we try again. He won’t tho.

I think this 100 times a day.

Same with me. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m thinking of all the good times and that’s what I want back-there were a lot of bad times too.
Or am I grieving me wedding, married life.
Or is it that I feel that at 37 I’m going to be single forever. It’s a weird feeling and I hate it

Trying to remind myself it's a rebound too, but then I also think he just like her a lot if he went so quickly to her so it'll probably work out :( sad

So sad. Doesn't he miss me at all?

I think everyone has to go through a grieving period but when men jump in to another relationship straight away they still have all those suppressed feelings inside and sometimes that makes a rebound relationship not work. Yes it may work for a few years but all the same grief shit and feelings will be buried deep which will just cause problems in the new relationship.
Whereas women grieve and do it properly so we fully heal.
I keep having these ideas of starting the gym, buying a new car, get some of my friends back (husband was quite jealous of me having some friends) not good but going to make contact with them in the next week.
Wish there was a pill where it could erase the memories and we would be feeling on top of the world. Sat here twiddling my thumbs looking at mumsnet searching for something that will make me feel better. But that will only come from me won’t it.

Unfortunately just takes time! Does anyone meditate? Or pray? I was taking cautious steps to converting to religion when he broke up with me (he never asked me to, I started out just wanting to understand his beliefs) despite usually being atheist and part of me feels sad about giving that up and like I don’t want to - but is that from burgeoning belief, or just from wanting to feel close to him? Not sure. But I don’t think it can do any harm to sit down and pray/meditate to try and get some inner peace.

Can I join, split yesterday. Husband of eight years partner of more than 15 l, father of my two young children slept with a stripper while drunk in what he says was a moment of madness. He is a serial liar only confessed because I discovered suspicious message, and is now acting like a wounded animal, there is no question he is completely and utterly devastated and the weight of ripping him out of my life is crushing, not to mention that I feel like a wave of pain is coming for my little family and I am battling to hold it back, while knowing I could stop their hurt by letting him back, but it would be at the cost of my own happiness as I don’t think I can ever get past this betrayal.

Also because he is the other half of the children’s world I’m still letting him see them everyday for their sake, I genuinely don’t know how I’m going to get through it.

@Janel85 what a bastard.

Oh god that’s awful! Sorry you have to be here but we all support each other here. You can wallow and bitch and moan and whine as much as you like and get it all out.

You must still be in shock, how terrible.

Penny we were going to Greece. And then another short break in Newcastle. I'm quite a chatty person so I'm sure I'll find someone to chat to. He's made contact with me 🙄 Says he wasn't on drugs and that I should believe him. That he's got trust issues which he's had a long time and is very apologetic but that I should believe him because he's been drug free for over 5 months now and he wouldn't ruin that. I don't believe a word he says.

I am, to be honesty my overwhelming feeling towards him is one of sympathy, I feel like I shouldn’t feel like that but he is the father or my children and he really is in excruciating pain. I know I can’t get past it, maybe that’s why I feel so bad for him because I know it’s the end. Obviously my overwhelming concern is my children, who will not take this well at all.

Oh wow @Janel85 sending lots of love. As herb said you can bitch and whine as much as you like in here without any judgement. These ladies have really helped me in the last few weeks and we are all in it together.

Ugh just realised tomorrow we would have been together ten months. We were so intense, I can’t believe we didn’t even make it to ten months!

I guess all relationships are different tho, my sister said she felt like we packed a five year relationship into nine months

Maybe that was part of the problem, maybe we went too fast but we just did what felt natural so what can you do? Gonna try to take it slower next time that’s for sure.

Oh Jan that's awful I am so sorry.
You deserve better. We all do.
Our hearts are broken because we loved them. That's not a bad thing on us it just means we take longer to heal. Please stay and post.

You can cry moan say things you can't say in real life on here. You will not be judged.

I spent the last hour looking at a pic of us that came up today on freaking FB time hop. I am broken again. We looked so happy and I miss his face.... I want to punch it as much as kiss it

So I don’t in my heart think it’s actually going to happen but that little spark of hope has wormed its way back in for some reason - not sure why. But I have another late shift tomorrow and we know how well that went last week! So I guess the disappointment of that will help crush the hope? I’m trying to stamp it out cos I honestly don’t think he is going to come back.

@herbsmokedchicken mine was only ten months. We ended it tonight although haven’t seen each other for a week, I’m heartbroken but I know it’s the right thing longterm.

Slept badly. I feel so lonely. I feel like I've died inside.
Hope you are not feeling as miserable.

Morning all.
I woke up sad too. Not tired or sleepy just instantly sad.
It's another day to get through so maybe I won't wake up sad tomorrow.

Took me a while to get to sleep but have woken up feeling ok so far - just the usual, low level sadness.