Break up support thread

[TinselAndKnickers]

Anyone else going through a breakup?

I'm a week into it. It was nearly 4 years together and it's ended because we lost communication and we just can't do it anymore, it's not the right time. He's said never say never and we've done the stuff swap over so I know I have to accept it and move on. But we love each other and have a lot of respect, so the goodbye was very hard to do. We might reconnect in future but for now we're NC.

Anyone else want a pity party/support thread?

Random dreams last night, can’t remember most of them. I know he was in some. But also had a dream where I was beginning a relationship with someone else so guess that’s a good sign lol

@TinselAndKnickers I know it’s so frustrating!

Weird to think that this time three weeks ago I was desperate to get back from my trip and see him. I thought I still had a boyfriend. And he’d already decided to end it and had packed up all my stuff.

So sad. I know he made the right decision, for both of us, but right now I just wish he’d just rode it out. Hopefully this time next year I’ll be like oh thank goodness he ended it because now we are with the right people.

I had a sobbing session yesterday too, I adore him too even though he's treated me badly :( just miss him so much

It’s horrible isn’t it? I just hate this.

Just checking in for a bit of advice really, saw him again today as he wants to test the waters but no decision on our future.

I just broke down and said I couldn't do it, wanted me to go food shopping with him for a family event and then home. I felt so sad, there's minimal effort shown and I feel like an absolute mug waiting for him to know if he wanted to be with me or not.

So I left it, upset and said I wouldn't speak to him again.

Please tell me this is the right thing to do? He says he loves me but that makes it worse, surely if he did there wouldn't be a question on our future?

I keep thinking if I can just be with him then he'll realise but I just can't do it to myself, its so upsetting for me everytime we meet

You're doing the right thing by taking the ball out of his court - if you truly want to be with him, you can make that decision but don't want to be hanging about for him whenever he likes. Well done

I’m on the cusp of a break up, a couple of live threads on the talk boards. No energy to go through the details now. It’s not actively ended because we are not in proper communication with him being away and I don’t be the one to dump him while he’s on holiday but he may well have reached that conclusion without me as I’ve been a bit passive aggressive in our communication. I can’t be dishonest therefore my communication has been erratic and weird and he’s erratic and wired as he’s on a great big bender. Feeling v sad and confused tho.

And focusing on it too much, so I know it’s all gone tits up for me!

Thank you TinselAndKnickers I keep thinking I've let the best thing to that's ever happened to me but the reality is he's done that himself.

Its a sad, hard time for us all isn't it? This group is the only place where I feel people understand.

We all need to remember this will pass

@bebe03 yes it is hard and it does pass. I have been here before... I often wonder , do ment feel the same way about break ups that women do?

Just had a crying session whilst finally cleaning out my awful fridge. It’s weird, even tho I’m thinking about it constantly, every now and again it suddenly manages to hit me all over again.

Like...he’s not my boyfriend anymore. I haven’t spoken to him in over a week. I haven’t seen him for just over two weeks. I’m not going to kiss him again. I’m not going to have a lazy weekend with him again. It’s all over. It seems bizarre to me that I can want someone so much when he doesn’t want me back.

Same herb, I want him so much but he doesnt even think of me. So sad.

It’s three weeks today and I still can’t quite believe it

It’s so weird that this time last year I was so desperate to be with him and somehow a year on I’m in the same fucking position! Except now I know what I’m missing.

Nearly three weeks exactly. 25 mins. I think when I stop noticing that, I’ll truly be on the mend

Hi ladies, went out last night and had a great time with my friends. Had some male attention which was nice but not ready for all that stuff yet but least it made me feel I’ve still got something haha
Today it must be the hangover as I’ve felt sad and lonely and miss him. Just sat here thinking of my life and that I was married and was settled and now just thinking I’ve got to start all over again is making me feel like crap. Need some positive words tonight. Feel like I could get in bed and never wake up x

Oh yeah be the hangover blues! Good job I don’t really drink or I’d be in trouble! But I go through phases and it’s a teetotal phase right now.

But you had male attention! That’s great! Ok we don’t need men to validate us but it’s still lovely to get some admiring glances. Look you may feel shit again now, but yesterday you didn’t - you went out and had a great time. Can you imagine doing that a week ago?

Like I sobbed whilst cleaning out my manky fridge, and not because of the fermented bags of salad, but then I watched a film with my mum and really enjoyed it, whereas three weeks ago today I’d just been dumped and was a hysterical wreck and I cried so much I looked like I’d had an allergic reaction. It comes and goes but we are getting so much better and we will keep on getting better until one day...we’ll be ok. Maybe we will always feel a pang of sadness remembering these times but we will have moved on and it’ll just be memories.

One day you’ll randomly remember me and be like “oh good old...spice? No, herb! Bless her. Hope she’s as happy as I am now”

And hopefully I will be!

Hi all. Some of you kindly commented on my thread this week.. I am he dumped by email girl.

I last saw him 2 weeks ago and I woke up this morning and he was my first thought for most of the day. I am so sad and miss him so much. Truth is though he's an arsehole and I know it but it doesn't stop the pain.
I want him to be missing me but he won't be the callous bastard.
My lovely friend stayed the weekend and we went out Friday night for drinks. I actually had fun and also wore a dress I have not worn in 4 years as I have lost so much weight recently. For the first time in along time I actually felt good.
I also had some male attention which was nice as twatface critisesed me so much I believed I was lucky to be with him.

I was risking full on depressive sobbing today as I am on my own but instead I just met a lovely man who's chatted to me on a dating app.
He was a complete gentleman and for a few hours I forgot about twatface.

I hope I am turning a corner and the need I have to be with him is slowly going.
We all will get through this and our hearts will mend.

@herbsmokedchicken thanks for that. And you are right I felt a lot better than I did last week. Plus it is the hungover blues so therefore I won’t be drinking now for a while to until my head is a lot clearer. I think I’m more mad that he’s texting someone else and that our whole marriage seems to be a joke.
@pennyspocket yes I’ve seen your thread. Hope you are ok. I can’t talk to anyone else at the moment as it would possibly make me feel worse but I think it’s good to distract yourself.
Ive been going to bed early. Haven’t watched any tv programmes for 3 weeks. Was in the middle of breaking bad with husband but I can’t even seem to watch that.
Good days and bad days but hopefully this time in a few months I’ll be on the road to recovery and that we all will be.
The emptiness and loneliness is the hardest thing to deal with to be honest. I am round people all the time but still manage to feel lonely.
How’s everyone else this evening? X

this came up on my Facebook feed, apt. I like the voodoo doll idea!

Haven’t watched any tv programmes for 3 weeks.

I haven't slept in my own bed since he dumped me 4 weeks ago, I sleep on the sofa . I can't as the last time I slept in it was with him... Does that make me crazy?

I too feel dead inside but 4 weeks in I don't feel as bad as the first week.
I still can't see a future because all the plans we made obviously had him in them.
I really wish I could fast forward 6 months and be over him already.

Yes the loneliness sucks even tho I’m with people. I’m with people too much! I love my family but forgotten how much they drive me mad when I’m with them all weekend. Think I’ll start taking time out the house at weekends, even if all I do is park up somewhere and read for a while.