Break up support thread

[TinselAndKnickers]

Anyone else going through a breakup?

I'm a week into it. It was nearly 4 years together and it's ended because we lost communication and we just can't do it anymore, it's not the right time. He's said never say never and we've done the stuff swap over so I know I have to accept it and move on. But we love each other and have a lot of respect, so the goodbye was very hard to do. We might reconnect in future but for now we're NC.

Anyone else want a pity party/support thread?

@Pittlepops I do have friends that are being supportive, family on the other hand are pushing towards me having a termination. which i don't want to do at all.
it is all so black and white to him. I feel hopeless.

Brooke don’t let yourself be pushed into anything, make the decision that is right for you.

@brookelopez don’t let anyone push you in to anything. You can do this as a single parent if that’s what you want to do. I was a single parent and my daughter is nearly 18 now. I had her when I was 19. Best thing ever. And I did it.

I think it's just harder as I still live with my parents, and only a few weeks ago my mum asked if he was going to stick around for me. I feel utterly embarrassed and want to disappear.

Ugh this time a month ago I was running out the door to meet him...I need this though, every time I walk out and don’t see him it should help to bring it home.

Ohhhhh that was as horrible as I was expecting, luckily my mum picked me up so I wasn’t sobbing on the bus! But I’m hoping now the first one is done it’ll get easier.

Anyone else just have a permanent lump in their throat?

I have a permanent pain in my chest. I just feel weird so know exactly what you are experiencing. I’m sleeping a lot. Don’t know if that’s normal.

@Pittlepops I’m not sleeping enough! I actually looked it up on Wikipedia today and your body has a lot of physical responses to the grief. I normally eat my feelings but I’ve lost eight pounds because I can’t face food.

I can’t sleep at night but falling asleep in the evening a lot. Can’t face him not being here. I’ve unblocked him before. Didn’t text but then all of a sudden I got a text from him saying have you blocked me again. Asking if I’m ok. It’s messing with my head. What’s that about?
I feel funny when I walk too..feel like I could faint at any point. Not eating though and have lost around 5 pounds this week and still loosing more which is good seen as though I was on a diet anyway.

Try and eat, I KNOW it’s difficult as I’m not eating much myself but do try and eat, it’s not going to help us feel any better if we don’t have any fuel.

Or at least make sure you’re getting lots of liquids.

I know yeah, I’m having milky coffees to get me through. I’ve taken a diazepam and I’m going to try and go to sleep. Or just keep looking on posts on here to make me feel abit better.
Tomorrow is a new day. Not at work again as I’ve phoned in sick and sometimes that’s the worse thing to do as work is a distraction but my job focuses on helping other people and I can’t do that at the moment.
Just wish the pain would subside even for half an hour. How you getting on?

You have to take care of yourself and if that means having some time off then that’s what you need to do, especially if you need to take care of other people.

I’m not doing too bad, was such a wreck after work but had a shower and watched a film and am feeling better. Lump in my throat, constant feeling of sadness, but still feeling better. Stupidly looked at our holiday photos on insta though 🙄 stopped myself before I got too upset. That plays in my mind a lot, it was such an amazing time and I never would have imagined it would end up being our only trip away.

There’s just so many reminders. I swear, I’d only ever seen his home town mentioned like twice before I met him and now I keep seeing news stories and mentions of it everywhere. Never seen so many silver cars either (his car is silver obvs).

I know exactly what you are saying. Try not to look at the holiday snaps. I have wedding pictures and honeymoon pictures but I’m not even going to chance looking at them. But I will one day probably when I’m a lot stronger.
Have you blocked him on social media? I have so I can’t see what he’s up to. I would hate to think he’s with another woman but I don’t know if he is.
What film did you watch?

No I haven’t blocked him, he actually rarely posts so I haven’t bothered but I might if I find it gets too much.

He said to me he wasn’t planning to date for a while and I believe him but dreading seeing him pop up on my tinder. I’m not actually using it to date yet, haven’t set it up properly but thought it might help it sink in that I’m single now.

Watched Shaun of the Dead, haven’t seen it in years and really enjoyed it altho prob won’t help my dreams

Mine popped up on my tinder which is why I text him. I found out he's been pretty upset too which sort of made me feel even worse because I want him to be happy, but I also felt happy he was sad gave me some reassurance.

Won't speak to him again now until he makes contact. I keep telling myself it's for the best. Very up and down still - two good days but tonight I could fill a fish tank with my tears! I'll forever remember all the good times 💗

I think for the healing process it’s good to delete them. It took all my power an strength to delete him and block him off Facebook. But I couldn’t bear to see what he’s doing without me.
I’m friends with my brother in law and his wife but I’ve had to unfollow them now to stop see their posts just in case husband is on any pics.
Do you think you will go back on tinder then?

@TinselAndKnickers it’s really good you have had some good days. How long have you been split?

I've got a fake account with no pictures on it that I've had forever just to scroll through and be nosy! I might join seriously in a few weeks though, just to get a confidence boost if anyone matches me.

So weird how someone can just decide suddenly they don't want you.

Just over two weeks it's been HELL! I keep crying loads then the next minute I've forgotten all about it and I'm laughing, then I feel guilty for having forgotten about it. So weird! Really is like they've died

@TinselAndKnickers I bet that was a shock! I know what you mean about the reassurance, even tho I know A is finding it all easier than me I did feel a bit better to know he wasn’t just like lalala herb is gone, who cares

Two good days tho, that’s good! It all comes in waves for me for sure. I’m feeling a bit better every day, I usually then crash at least once. But I do get slightly higher every time too.

I will go back on the online dating properly at some point. I figure when I’ve managed to go two days without crying I might be ready!

@TinselAndKnickers I know about how weird it is when they decide they don’t want you. It wasn’t just sudden for mine, it was a few weeks and then the last week he really realised it was time, so probably wasn’t as sudden for your one as it may seem, even if was all subconsciously.

It really is like someone has died. In fact in some ways I’ve found it harder than when my dad died, think I said this earlier on here but at least with dad he was just gone, not here but just not wanting to be around me.

I find the crying lets it all out. Nighttime is especially difficult for me, the house feels so big without him here. I haven’t got to the stage where I’m laughing but hopefully that will come soon as I’m done with crying. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but I’m glad that I’m in this forum listening to other people’s stories and knowing that I’m not alone with what I am experiencing

Yeah I’ve found it really helpful being able to discuss this with people who are going through this right now, my friends are lovely but they haven’t been through this for years.

Yeah my friends have been absolutely fantastic but I suppose it’s different to be actually talking to people who are going through exactly what I’m going through.
I feel slightly better tonight whilst I’m in bed. The pain in my chest has gone. Pleasantly surprised. Hoping for a better day tomorrow. I might go running and see if that helps me