Break up support thread

[TinselAndKnickers]

Anyone else going through a breakup?

I'm a week into it. It was nearly 4 years together and it's ended because we lost communication and we just can't do it anymore, it's not the right time. He's said never say never and we've done the stuff swap over so I know I have to accept it and move on. But we love each other and have a lot of respect, so the goodbye was very hard to do. We might reconnect in future but for now we're NC.

Anyone else want a pity party/support thread?

I'm back to anger and mild sadness. It's exhausting.

@TinselAndKnickers isn’t it just? I could do with a bit of anger, just for a change. Maybe I’d finally get my bedroom sorted instead of wallowing. My room was always so messy and I realise now that finally managing to keep it tidy coincided with me being with A (that’s exDP) and I really don’t want to fall back into my slobby ways. Tidy room, tidy mind. Determined to get it sorted tomorrow so at least when I wake up on Monday, back to work, I’ll have an organised room.
Watched Lion King for first time in years, have avoided it since my dad died. Thought the death scene would break me but I apparently have no emotions spare for cartoon lions. Hakuna matata made me sad though as he played it as a joke during our second official date

You'll feel better for tidying your room

I'm sobbing! On and off for the past 3 hours. I don't know how he's okay and how fast he just switched up on me. Love him so much and just want a cuddle but would also love to give him a bloody big slap

I was sobbing earlier! For a few hours on and off like you, kept thinking I was done and then it would go again. Def noticing the lack of physical contact. When I was single all those years I never had a one night stand or anything and it was fine but now I’m used to being kissed and cuddled regularly, I so miss it. We were always touching

Because it’s his decision and he also had longer to adjust, I know he is perhaps still a bit down but basically fine. And this time next week he’ll prob be just dandy. From the way he spoke to me over text on Thursday it kind of felt like he was ready to be friends again and I’m like, not even close to that.
Gone midnight. Should be giving him birthday kisses right now.

@TinselAndKnickers it does seem to be a recurring theme that men recover faster, not always obviously but you do seem to read more about men moving on fast than you do women. A is quite pragmatic with stuff like this as well whereas I have always been a very emotional person.

Oooo this birthday thing feels even worse than I was expecting. Like it’s not even sad as such, I’m not even sure what it is that I’m feeling but whatever it is, it feels horrible. I mean I do feel sad but I feel something else. Like just feels so wrong. Even tho this would have been the first time we had celebrated his birthday together.

I find weekends really hard, it was when we spent most of our time together. I'm so bored and lonely, trying to fill my time but it's so difficult. I can't believe it's been 7 weeks and I still miss him as much as I do. It makes me feel sick that he's with his new girlfriend having fun and enjoying each others company. If we'd just split up and were both on our own that would be marginally better, it gets me really down that he jumped straight into another relationship, no time to miss me or anything :(

I think he'll miss you not saying happy birthday which is good if you want him to miss you.

Jonsnow the rebounds never last, around the time you move on and be happy your ex will crash and be miserable or so I've heard.

I miss him so much it hurts but he's asked for space, so I can't text him because anything I do will push him further away.

I texted him to say happy birthday. As we are on good terms, it just felt a bit petty not to, but I’m not going to get drawn into a conversation or anything, just leave it at that.

Jonsnow that’s horrible that he has moved on so fast but agree it’ll probably end up not working out as it’s so fast.

@TinselAndKnickers it’s horrible isn’t it, just that constant feeling of missing them.

Yeah I'm hoping this will be the case! It's more of an overlap than a rebound, I can imagine that she was probably really over the top tactile with him which made him cheat in the first place, as me not being tactile enough was one of his reasons for leaving :( he probably got so excited my the fact she was touching him that it made him cheat :(

Need to stop thinking of these things :(

I'm hoping it wont last, not for him to be with me, but so he can feel how miserable it is.

I'm also NC as I'm trying not to push them more together (also not posting on social media so he doesnt see anything of me) as I know if I keep messaging he will turn more towards her. It's so hard when i just want to talk to him all the time! Even just spotting something that he would like, have to stop myself.

Yes it’s so difficult when you were previously speaking every day, always seeing memes I would have sent to him, or stuff happens that I would have talked to him about. And like I say I think he would be happy enough to hear from me as he wants us to be friends but I just need to keep my distance and get used to him not being my constant.

He’s now replied saying thank you and I’d so love to text him back but I’ve archived the chat. I mean, normally if I texted someone saying that, once they said thank you I’d asked them what their plans are for the day but I don’t want to know his plans because they’re not the plans we had a month ago.

Ugh I just miss him so bloody much

Dont text him back.
I wish he was here with me so much but we will all get through this :)

Yeah I’m not going to! There’s nothing to say. I just miss him. This time two weeks ago we were still technically together (as far as I was aware, he had obviously already made the decision by this point) and i just hate this so much. I just want to feel ok again.

As well as missing him specifically I’m also just missing having a boyfriend, two weeks today since we split but three weeks since I last had a proper kiss or a cuddle.

I’m 5 months down the line, my husband of 10 years left me, neither of us was happy but he was the one who finally had the strength to do it, I don’t think I ever could have.

It’s hard but things are getting easier, I don’t cry every day anymore but the difficulty is I can’t go NC, we have children together.

I honestly think I will never get over this.

Oh that must be so hard, especially as you can’t go NC. Five months is still early days though especially after such a long relationship. I’m sure you will be able to move on

Tomorrow I’m back to work which sucks because, work, but also it’s another change of routine to get used to, not texting in Tuen morning before we start the day or at lunch to check in with how our days are going.

I've bloody text him and we've had a lovely conversation. Wish I could say that I regret it but I really don't naughty. Back to depression tomorrow!!

Ooo what did you say? It’s difficult eh, like I know if I texted A for a chat we could have a lovely chat. Could even go for a spin and have a lovely time. But just wouldn’t be worth the crash after. Once I get to the point where I’m regularly not thinking of him and I’ve gotten rid of my sadness cloud, I think that’s when I’ll be ready to maybe think about being friends again. Basically need to get him out of my life before I can let him back in! Which I guess is the same for all of us, it’s so weird going from talking to someone every day to not, but we need to get used to them not being in our lives.
Have been swiping on tinder, not cos I actually want to date but just to see what’s out there but I only want someone who looks like him and they are in short supply here...altho can sort of picture being with someone else now which I think is progress.

I absolutely definitely regret it. But I don't. I love him so fucking much the stupid arsehole. 5 years of my life

Please may I join! Two years with someone who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Major commitment issues which spreads to all areas of his life.
Saw him today which made me feel so much worse, just good to know I'm not the only one out there going through this!
I feel so weal6, he still says he loves me and it's a silly situation but doesn't seem as bothered as me at all!