I feel so awful about myself ...what did I do?

[sarere]

Been casually dating this guy.
He had only been single since March /April when I started dating him.
He's previous ex he bought a house for them to live but they split.
She was violent towards him.
He texts me every day but never speaks about where it's going or feelings etc.
After being in limbo I text him asking him if he wanted to see me Friday.
He said he was busy on Friday.
I said ok next week? He then said he had plans.
I said would you like me to stop asking you to meet up? If your not interested that's really ok but just let me know.
He replied saying "your asking too many questions lately "
"Chill out "
I said sorry and I just want to know where I stand.
I said "are you wanting to see me in the future"
He didn't give me a straight answer ..
Then sent me a picture a hour later of him at work then this afternoon he text asking if I had a nice day.
Last time I seen him was before I had my gall bladder removed and he was lovely to me,hugging me and kissing me.
He texts me every day ...
I'm confused
Do I just say
If you want to date me then date me ..if not fair enough
Ball is in your court now?

Sounds like he's playing games. I could never be arsed with game playing.

You haven't done anything wrong by the way.

He's a controlling arsehole. Run, don't roll over for him!

Are you sure it was his wife who was violent?

@Awrite I hate the games.
If you don't want to date me then jog on
Don't keep messaging me.
He told me previously he runs away from situations.
Maybe he thinks I'm wanting serious.

@QueenOfTheCroneAge yeah it was,he showed me the scars on his legs.
They weren't married and didn't live together but he bought the house with the intention of her moving in with him.

Doesn’t sound like his interested to be honestly.

You’ve only known him a short amount of time and already his making you feel like that, that’s not how it should be.

Delete his number, don’t speak to him again. All your going to achieve here is hurting your heart

I think you should ghost him now. He will only continue to treat you like an inconvenience ad infinitum if you continue anyway.

Doesn't sound like he is really interested. If he couldn't make your suggested date, then he would offer a different time/place if he were keen to meet up.

Fuck that. Just block him and move on. He's a wanker.

HTH

Scars on his legs are not proof the ex was violent, she could have been but they also could be from anything. If he's dicking you about this early in then he's not worth it. Next!

He is a friend of a mutual friend.
We started hanging out together in a group then we kissed.
Slept together and he asked me on a date.
We had a good time,then we went out again and text all day every day.
He was getting freaked out when people were thinking we were a couple and I just don't know.

This has been nearly 3 months now.

Scars on his legs from his abusive ex? Hmmmm. Whatever, he's a potential headfuck. Steer clear.

He said that his ex's have always hit him and went crazy.
He said he doesn't know why but he seems to send them crazy,he kind of laughed it off.

He's not looking for a relationship, more of a fwb arrangement.

You're going to get hurt it you're expecting more.

Honestly stop chasing this man, if he's interested he will ask you out. Stop being so available. Stop responding so quickly to his texts. Personally I'd tell him to do one, I've never liked game players, but if you're happy to be messed with and an option for him, then go right ahead.

He was getting freaked out when people were thinking we were a couple and I just don't know

He's a charmer isn't he? Three months of this? No, you deserve better.

Do I send him a message again saying if you want to meet up nothing serious let me know..I like you so balls in your court now?
My head is a mess with him.
I'm terrified it's going to trigger my depression.

It’s really not that complicated or difficult but we get sucked into these games and start thinking there must be something behind their actions and something we can do to change it.

There’s really not. If he wants to see you he’ll make it happen. You’ve made it quite plain that you would like to know where you stand and have asked for some reassurance- a decent guy would give you a straight answer but he’s chosen to continue to be evasive and tell you to ‘chill out’.

Why do you feel awful about yourself? You’re not behaving like a twat, he is! Just stop contacting him. STOP STOP STOP. Maybe he’ll realise he needs to up his game, and if not then you’ve not lost anything worth having. Because I promise you it can and should be so much simpler than this - someone who really likes you and is worth having won’t leave you feeling unsure whether they even want to see you.

lol the ex's are always crazy

Poor him

'Got a long list of ex lovers, who'll tell you I'm insane....'

Don't let your name be his blank space

Haven't you posted about this before just after you'd had your gallbladder out? If so, you were told to get rid of him then. You're wasting your time.

No do not contact him.
He's using you till something else comes along.
Let him chase you.
And if he doesn't you have your answer.
But it is not you.

In my world, you know as a grown up, if someone likes you they will let you know: and you can also let them know in return. This is ridiculous juvenile bullshit which I have no time for

Do not contact him again, in the nicest possible way it just looks desperate and like your begging for attention.

You NEVER have to chase a man that’s interested

It’s already upsetting you so care for yourself and walk away......

Delete his number and block. Any guy who was really interested would have suggested alternative times to meet when you suggested meeting up. I think you'll feel a lot better about yourself once you do that

He can’t trigger your depression, don’t give him that kind of power. His behaviour isn’t a reflection on you. If you’re worried your mental health is suffering then try and get ahead of it with some good self-care and lookzing to some counselling maybe?