I feel so awful about myself ...what did I do?

[sarere]

Been casually dating this guy.
He had only been single since March /April when I started dating him.
He's previous ex he bought a house for them to live but they split.
She was violent towards him.
He texts me every day but never speaks about where it's going or feelings etc.
After being in limbo I text him asking him if he wanted to see me Friday.
He said he was busy on Friday.
I said ok next week? He then said he had plans.
I said would you like me to stop asking you to meet up? If your not interested that's really ok but just let me know.
He replied saying "your asking too many questions lately "
"Chill out "
I said sorry and I just want to know where I stand.
I said "are you wanting to see me in the future"
He didn't give me a straight answer ..
Then sent me a picture a hour later of him at work then this afternoon he text asking if I had a nice day.
Last time I seen him was before I had my gall bladder removed and he was lovely to me,hugging me and kissing me.
He texts me every day ...
I'm confused
Do I just say
If you want to date me then date me ..if not fair enough
Ball is in your court now?

He's just split from his ex. He sounds like he is after something very casual and isn't willing to disclose just how much or little he wants from you. Don't be kept hanging as a rebound if you want more.

No need to ‘get him’. Dump, block, move on.

You need to just stop messaging him.
It's getting you nowhere.
Just don't respond and dump him.
Jeez - this is a no-brainer OP.

Go on the date. What if guy2 was perfect and you dodged it for uncommitted no 1?

Him blowing hot and cold keeps you on your toes, makes you unsettled, then he has a go at you for asking what he wants, and then you feel bad and confused. At any time he could have said, of course I'm into you, but instead, no straight answer. Which of course makes you unsettled etc etc. Whatever this relationship is, its not good for you! Ask yourself, do you want to feel like he is making you feel? I was recently in a similar situation. Blowing hot and cold. I ended it, quickly over text, and the relief was huge.

Ffs. How much clearer do we need to be. Dump him and get some therapy as to why you tolerate this shit and chase wankers.

I don't even know why I apologised and why I need a reason from him.
It's chewing me that he can't explain why and what I've done wrong.
Also the fact he keeps telling me to chill out

Are you actually listening to people OP??
He isn't bothered about you at all. It doesn't matter that he texts.

But you clearly won't listen and will continue to ask pointless questions and analyse his nothing texts.

I understand what you all are saying.
What's baffling me is why he can't just say what he is thinking ..why not tell me straight what he's thinking.
I don't think I've been intense have I ?

Sarere, there is a saying in Spain that goes something like you use a nail to take out another nail. So, dump this waste of space and go for a drink, no strings, with someone nice. He doesn't tell you anything straight because it's his way of controlling you and keeping you on your toes. And it is working fine.

OP how old are you? Ditch this guy and start dating someone new.

I'm 30 so getting on a bit now.
I've bought a new dress for tonight
Going to get dolled up and hopefully feel good about myself.

Why are you going out tonight?
Do you actually want to?

Or are you doing it so you can tell this man, you are out on a date/post on social media so he knows?

Actually I think you are being intense. You are aware he doesnt want a relationship. You do know where you stand.

Personally I dont think you should be pursing a relationship with anyone. Not until you can start accepting what people say about what they want and have the confidence to walk away when it's not working

All your doing is hurting yourself, no happiness will come from this!

He isn't telling you what he is thinking because he is thinking 'I just want to sleep with her and use her to massage my ego' and he can't do that if you know what he is thinking because you would realise he is a using peace of sh*t. You aren't crazy for wanting clarification on where you stand with someone, he just tells you you are because he wants you to feel the problem lies with you.

We've all told you he isn't into you, and so has he. So listen!

If you have to ask where you stand with someone, it's time to stop standing and start walking!

I just want to go out and have a nice time.
I'm not even going to tell him I'm out on a date.
I'm just going to post some pics on my fb all dressed up so he knows I'm not sat home pining for him.

I've never said to him I want a full on relationship.
Just to go on some dates and see each other on a weekend and maybe once during the week.
It didn't have to be full on.

I'm just going to post some pics on my fb all dressed up so he knows I'm not sat home pining for him.

You are going out on a date, to make him interested. Not because you want to have fun. Why treat the new guy like this?

I am out OP. You are playing games. It doesnt matter if he knows you are out or not.

If he wants you because you are on date, he will go back to normal and leave you hanging in a few weeks.

Or he isnt going to be interested and the date will be a disaster and you will be upset.

You wont listen to advice. So not sure why you are posting.

Just to go on some dates and see each other on a weekend and maybe once during the week. It didn't have to be full on

You sound full one

on

He is saying what he is thinking though, both verbally and with his actions. You are just choosing not to listen.

Are you secretly hoping that by going out tonight and posting photos of yourself on social media that he’s going to come racing back to you ?

I do hope you have a nice time though on your date and you take the blinkers off long enough to see what we’re all saying

That IS full on though. That's more than I did with my ex when we were in a serious relationship.

Posting photos of you "dolled up" is just attention seeking and pathetic tbh. He'll know you've done it for a reaction. The only way forward with this is block and delete. No more game playing and questions. He's playing you because you're still letting him despite what we have all said which comes across as desperate. He'll see you the same. Have some pride and raise your bar off the floor.

Sorry op but you've lost my sympathy a little now too, you should have blocked and deleted mr jerk by now.

I get the drive to go and post the date pics but... if you are going to then please at least delete and block person one after you have put the pics up and get on with your life. Treat it as a final 'fck you, this sht is over and I've moved on'. Because staying in contact with him any longer is just beyond dense.

Oh and....seeing eachother on a weekend and once a week is quite a lot to ask for from someone who was clearly looking for something casual lol xD Anyway, he doesn't want what you want. Hopefully the guy tonight will be awesome.

So you're only going out tonight so you can post pics so he can see them, and you think constantly asking him out and seeing him twice a week isn't full on and you've not been intense?