Dating thread 164. Fortune favours the brave

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

In my experience, if a guy is tall they will state their height. More often than not it's something like 'apparently this stuff is important so I'm 6ft".

Yeah I think it had the door one too! 😂😂 so funny! I'm sure one of them will slip out when I'm chatting to someone!

Oh yes I've seen loads of those 'apparently it important' heights in bios, mostly if the guy is over 6ft. Seems such a humblebrag. Although one guy who was really good looking put he was 5'7 which I thought was a good idea.

I'm wondering if I should put recently divorced on my bio?
I'm really struggling to get conversations going, and I want to imply I'm up for anything without explicitly saying it?
Basically something casual is totally fine- just want to get on some dates before I lose my nerve and bin the whole thing for another few years!

sunshine I’m sure you’re right about the majority of men, but the two fittest guys I’ve dated via OLD failed to mention before we met that they were well over 6’, so I literally swooned when I first met up with them. Happy days, as they were - ahem - in proportion IYKWIM. Mr Greedy and Mr Courteous are comparative ahortarses- so they try harder in other respects 😊

@CrazyDuchess OLD is definitely for all shapes and sizes, personalities and every kind of home life set up so don’t worry at all!
I would recommend to try Tinder as well. POF you tend to get loads of random (that’s the polite version) messages whereas Tinder you have to match first so it is a little more selective. Different apps seem to be better in different areas ie whether you live in a big town or are remote so give them all a go and find out what works for you

It does make me cringe the who “my sister said I should point out I’m 6.2” but I do like to know. I have added my height into my tinder in the hope that short men might be put off! Gosh that sounds mean 🙈

Thank you - I live just outside a really big town so wondering if I am limiting myself..... I'll give tinder a crack.

The height convo is really interesting - I am quite tall (5'10) so usually the question is whether I am telling the truth about being tall - tends to turn me off further convo if I am honest

My exh was 6ft and not in proportion, sadly. MrSAS is also 6ft and more in proportion but Mr Art is 6ft 3 and definitely in proportion, as he keeps showing me 😂

@shitwithsugaron If you’re ever unsure, look for a short index finger compared to the ring finger, bigger the difference, bigger the ahem you know.

It’s actually a scientifically proven link, so you need to ask for door frame photos and a photo of their hand outstretched 😂

@SimonJT 🤣 I'm going to be looking at ever mans hands now!!

Feeling meh tonight, had my date with Mr Horizontal- I got too drunk 🥴 so we went back to his, had a nice enough morning chilling in bed, had some action before I left. He got me a birthday present. I asked him today when I could next see him, he's busy all next week apparently- didn't mention Saturday so I said I was free if any changes. And he's seen my message but not replied.

Wondering how many other females on here just compared their index and ring fingers 👍

It has confirmed that I have a small penis

Ok I’m being really dim, so bear with; does the index finger have to be bigger or smaller than the ring finger?

Mine would be big apparently. As if I don't have enough penis envy as it is....

Mine would be tiny, a bit like my non existent boobs 🙄

MrNN and I had to settle to an audio call as my internet is a bit crap at the minute, anyway, the supermarket near his airbnb has a bar, so you can do your shopping and have a pint, why don’t we have that here?!

He is meant to be there until a week on Thursday, but that’s changed, so now he’ll be coming home this Friday, yay.

Big difference on one hand, no difference on the other, WTF?

Re the height thing. It folds annoy me when I'm.searching on POF & I read profiles that say....."no one under 6ft please.....I like to wear heels & don't like shortarses..." (or something similar) . I wouldnt mind it but most are 5ft 8 or less. (I'm around 5ft 8 1/2.....you can see it bugs me). I sent a message once asking if she expects to be wearing 6 inch louboutins all the time..?Pah...their loss I say.

I used to date taller guys but then I married a man my same height. Super convenient for kissing without torticollis. This comes from an average-to-short woman, so I can't really appreciate how it feels dating shorter men, but I guess I can relate to a guy whose waist was narrower than me

To clarify the situation with Mr Chef, it will be date #6, and we agreed to be exclusive on date #5. I admit that I am totally ignorant of OLD and even dating in general, and I have only ever gone beyond first date from OLD with MrChef, but I have heard of multidating and it is not something I planned to do. Whether I want a LTR with MrChef or not is not clear as I am a very slow burner. I do like him, but I barely have enough data to reach conclusions about the viability and compatibility long term. For instance, he just told me today that snoring is a deal breaker for him. That could have very well been the end of the story if I snored (info he didn't know).

I have not been in OLD since exclusivity chat, but I met MrSmile organically while doing a very old hobby of mine with my kids. MrSmile proposed we meet again to practice said activity, not as a date, and I don't even know if he is single, or anything else about him except his name, phone number and that we share this hobby. I used to compete in this thing and his level is close to mine, so it was a nice surprise to find a worthy opponent. And he is attractive and roughly my age.

So is exclusivity the same as been in a relationship or the intention of focusing on one person but still to decide? And am I been deceitful if I meet someone else I find attractive for an activity, not a date? (If a date came up I am aware it would against the exclusivity).

@butterflyfed

You said last time

He messaged the same night a few times, light hearted but I am totally in to meet again. I don't even know if he is single but I find him attractive. Is it wrong of me to try to get to know this other bloke while practicing the activity and seeing how things develop with MrChef

It's pretty clear you aren't meeting him just to do your activity. You've clearly got an interest in him. There's nothing wrong with deciding someone isn't for you (Mr Chef) but there is something wrong with agreeing to be exclusive with someone yet clearly being interested and wanting to invest in someone else.

@butterflyFed

Yes it is wrong of you to try to ‘get to know’ someone when you are in a relationship with someone else. Many of us have had marriage splits because of affairs and this is effectively doing just that.
I always turn it round and think ‘would I be happy if my partner was doing this’. If you would be ok with that, then MrChef is not for you and you need to let him go.
To be honest being exclusive before sex is quite an odd thing anyway unless sexual compatibility is not an important factor for either of you...