Dating thread 164. Fortune favours the brave

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

• sell my 2 bed house.

@butterflyFed If you’re exclusive you don’t keep looking, you certainly don’t try to meet other guys.

@hadthesnip2 Sorry to hear about your situation. It astounds me how anyone can treat their kids like that, let alone a mother ☹️

I think saying your kids come first is fine but yes, it's the gushing. Your kids SHOULD be your world, it shouldn't need saying on a dating app.

I just say in with things I like doing, something like "spending time with my two children"

Thanks everyone, I was going to put it because I thought it would filter out the people who couldn’t handle that so I wouldn’t be wasting my time (provided they actually read it) but then I thought it would put people off straight away even for something more casual so I’m abit torn as I’m not sure what I want right now. I split with my ex because I was in love with him and could see a future but his circumstances meant he couldn’t commit but I’m not sure I’m ready for something serious right now. I’ve left it blank for now because I’ve no idea what to put on my bio either, what do you write? I don’t think ‘I spent most nights sat outside my kids bedrooms praying they go to sleep so I can clean and be in bed for 9’ screams date me 😂 definitely won’t be putting my kids are my world 🤢

My DC come first - I'm not sure what this means for me. I have allowed myself to be subsumed by childcare over the years and now that I'm a single mother I'm realising if I keep doing that I will lose my mind. I have to put myself first more often. So obviously they are safe, happy, we spend time together. But I also need to carve out time for myself somewhere. I am trying to figure out that balance I guess. (My ex isn't in the picture, and when visitation is finally ironed out it will likely be supervised contact so I'll never have weekends to myself or anything like it)

@Heartbreakhotell having kids doesn't stop any man from being interested in a casual thing, ime.

@hadthesnip2
Totally agree it’s not just one gender and it’s amazing how many people they don’t come first for sadly. The kids will know who has their back though. Your time will come. Karma can be fab!

Totally agree @Sunshineandflipflops but I felt it shouldn’t need saying but sadly did need saying.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I'm doing the freedom programme in September too. I'm so nervous. I've had the worst year of my life and the thought of being able to trust someone again is alien to me at the moment!

Home time. I have mouth DOMS. 😃

Lol @Ginmel, must've gone well!

Only mouth DOMS?!

Please don't make me laugh. It hurts.

Mouth muscles are the only ones that hurt. The rest of me is just happy. Probably the politest way to put it.

@MoreNiceCereal totally agree with you. My kids are my life for 4 days a week. The rest of the time my life is mine. (Unlesss there's an emergency obvs!)

Have been here since Friday @morenicecereal Mr G and I appear to be quite compatible. 👍

I had my date with MrS last night. It was fab, as always. Since we had the whole conversation where he said we are not exclusive I've backed off a bit and we just arrange one or two dates in advance.
Last night whilst out she's suggested a fab long weekend away together, helping me with some DIY, at least four more dates of stuff to do, mixed in with cooking dinner for me, meeting in town and doing general fun stuff.
He's either completely and utterly Mr unavailable OR he genuinely hates labelling stuff.
But at the moment I don't mind too much.

Sounds like some great dates happening

I had a fantastic weekend at my niece’s wedding. I have a massive family so we don’t all get together very often, and weddings is one time we definitely do. I missed MrTri a lot so messaged him loads which is so unlike me.
He’s coming over in a bit for a cycle ride and I can’t wait to see him. Will have to wait til we are out of sight of the kids to snog though

Oooh @Ginmel I laughed at mouth DOMS - must be the equivalent of shagged out but for mouths only! 😁

Chiming in on the "my kids come first" on the profile thing - I have to say it slightly puts me off when I see it on a man's profile. I know every parent's children should absolutely come first, but that should be a given, and to feel the need to say it just puts a question instantly in my mind about if you actually want a relationship and makes me think I'll be playing second fiddle constantly. Where's just mentioning your kids briefly is fine imo.

Back from my date, I think all went ok (always hard to tell), the pub we arranged to meet at was closed for building work so we had to find another pub, had lunch, lots of talking, I probably talked too much due to nerves, we then went for a drive to one of my favourite local spots by the river. A cheeky kiss before parting ways. He has texted me to say thank you and said he thinks I’m cool. The only bad bit is he looks similar to my brother 😐 and is quite skinny.

Coffee I agree. Makes me cringe a little when I read “my kids come first”, of course kids come first you don’t need to write it in your profile, if I see someone has kids then I know they will always be priority. I tend to skip past profiles where guys write that in the first line.

Yep “my kids come first” always makes me cringe. If you have kids they should come first. Up until last few days I didn’t have a bio but kept bed ghosted when I mentioned the kids so have just put on there that I have 2 small kids.

ginmel I had no idea what Mouth DOMS meant. I googled it haha I am guessing you don’t mean what my goodie results gave me 😂

Delayed onset muscle strain/soreness.

I might google it to see what funny results come up!

I’m attempting to get MiniSJT to bed on time tonight (he has been a swine this week) as MrNN is facetiming at 8pm.

@Lovemusic33 I’m pleased it went well, skinny is great, but looking like a sibling, not so great I guess.

Hello - newbie here.

Have been quietly stalking on and off for a few months and now ready to ask for help!

I am ready to jump back into the dating world, but have been struggling. I have only every used POF but keen to know if I am missing a trick with Tinder.... it looks scary!

I am 35, overweight (but working on losing it asap) I dont think I am particularly attractive, and a single parent to boot. Is there any hope for me?

Yes sounds like there's been some great dates happening, well done guys.

I'm trying to dredge up some enthusiasm to keep messaging people. Had such a great convo with the guy who ended up ghosting me - it's quite hard to get it all going again with someone else.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 your post about asking a guy how tall he was reminded me of this great blog I saw about how to suss out a guy's height with out asking- one was to suggest basketball as your first date, if he says no it's because he's not tall enough! Or say you need help reaching something on the top shelf- could he come over to help. Made me laugh anyway as I was convinced that the guy who ghosted me was short and was trying to figure it out from his head and shoulder ratio!!

helpme I think I read it or someone on here might have mentioned before. Did it also suggest telling an iron you have a door fetish and asking them to send a pic of them stood next to a door? 😂