Dating thread 164. Fortune favours the brave

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@Sunshineandflipflops That would piss me off as well, it’s a shame he didn’t engage his brain.

Newbie here waves I’m 25 with 2 DC was with their dad for 8 years, a few months after we split I hooked up with someone from work and ended up seeing each other for a year but ended it when he said he couldn’t commit to something more serious. The idea of OLD terrifies me, I’ve never even been on a proper first date before but I really want to push myself out of my comfort zone and have some fun. With things like tinder do you say you have DC on your profile or just wait till you’ve started talking to someone to tell them?

Kermit - God, we really do have some special guys out there for us, huh?

Nunnery time, I reckon

@Heartbreakhotell hi there! waves hmm I’m reasonably new too so someone may come along with better advice in a sec but I’ve put a brief mention of my dd on my tinder profile. I figured it would filter out the wheat from the chaff as it were

Just dipping in, although I’m off the apps I have a date tomorrow with someone I have been talking too for a few weeks (before I deleted the apps), feeling a bit nervous as we have been texting way too much so expectations are kind of high, though I’m trying not to have any expectations at all. We are meeting at a local pub for lunch, we have quite a few things in common so should be easy going with lots to talk about. Haven’t got a clue what to wear it will work that out tomorrow.

@lovemusic best of luck for tomorrow; great that you know you’ve got stuff to talk about!

Good luck, @Lovemusic33!

I'd say definitely be straightforward on your profile, @Heartbreakhotell. No need to share details of course - I just said I had DC and definitely didn't want more. Someone in this thread said that most people expect (or at least aren't surprised) when others have children.

@Heartbreakhotell Where I live tinder is used for hookups only. I would only mention having kids if you are looking for a LTR.

I have my first date with bf MrChef on Tuesday and expecting to dtd... we are going to a drive-in theatre, so the car may help with the logistics issue. It is a strange feeling. Also, we have been messaging a hit more (from 5 texts a day to 10? ) but he only does text, no calls, no WhatsApp... May be too soon but I am used to way more contact with a partner. I have agreed to be exclusive, but I am not sold yet.

In the meantime there is another potential iron. Can't give many details as it is outing but my kids made me stop for an activity and this guy stopped at the same time. We "played" and as we enjoyed it, we exchanged numbers to practice said activity another day. He messaged the same night a few times, light hearted but I am totally in to meet again. I don't even know if he is single but I find him attractive. Is it wrong of me to try to get to know this other bloke while practicing the activity and seeing how things develop with MrChef?

@butterflyFed why did you agree to exclusivity? It doesn’t sound like you are ready - or even what you want?
It’s fine to multi date and have fun, but I thought the point of being exclusive was you both declaring that’s not what you want to do anymore

Hi all
Just checking in to say hi as not been on for a while. I saw someone on bumble 5 weeks ago who lives very close that a friend knew so it doesn’t really feel like old. its going super well see each other a lot like someone else said is odd if don’t see each other a day. Trying to just to see how it goes over the summer. The rules are so different when we live in same place and know people though which is kind of odd. Trying not to over invest! Trying!! Good luck to everyone and happy hols x

@butterflyFed Do you mean you're hoping to dtd at the drive through theatre? I may have got that wrong!

I think if you've agreed to be exclusive then @Savoretti it right, it means no dating or chatting to others to me so maybe it was too soon?

@butterflyFed you're going to get flamed on here. You can't be exclusive and carry on dating others. That's really shitty behaviour.

@Ant330 I kind of meant that Auba and her ex were very intense straightaway. Which is amazing but often unhealthy. You and miss H sound relaxed and happy. Sorry Auba. :(

Thanks for the PMs - you know who you are! I'm none the wiser...Too old to know who anyone is but quite amused! And wondering how you even met..

@Sunshineandflipflops just a thought... has Mr SAS been cheated on?

@Peanuthedz No, as far as I'm aware he was the unfaithful one as he was in an unhappy marriage for years. Not that that's an excuse to be unfaithful.

butterfly agreed to be exclusive before a first date? Agreed in advance to shag on the first date in a car? Seeing someone else too? This sounds messed up, and I’m afraid for you. Can you clarify?

Lovely update @ccgirr - everything crossed!

Good luck lovemusic

butterfly also confused about if you’re expecting to dtd in the car? And how come your exclusive if you’re not sure about him?

Bah I am so fed up or swiping already!
Mr Offgrid has disappeared after I asked him how tall he was. The others just aren’t massively engaging or live too far away or drink gravy for bantz - yep one admitted this as something he likes to do 😂

I live in a tourist area so many swipe and goes!!

Great update ccgirr

Looking for some wise words.

I have a first date with Mr Rugby tonight.

He has a communication style of just stops talking.

I asked him about it as I thought that he might be married ( he stops texting around 6) he said he starts work early so is tired in the evenings)

So we were whatsapping most of Friday and he stops mid sentence then NOTHING

since the date was today I just said thanks but no thanks as I thought he had ghosted me.

So he pops up on WhatsApp last night around 11 saying he was at the Lake District Friday night to yesterday and didn’t have signal

I’ve said I’d still go to the date, he’s coming to my town, I’ll be out anyway

What would you guys do?

stilllooking he sounds like a flake. No harm meeting for a drink but don’t have high expectations

@marlboroandmalbec34 I'm intrigued has to how a conversation in which you are trying to impress someone could turn into a drinking gravy admission.

@lovemusic33 good luck today.

@heartbreakhotell I'd mention you've got kids (without the vomity 'my kids are my world' statements) because it suggests about your lifestyle that you won't be able to (or want to) drop everything for a man. 25 is young and so it wouldn't be obvious in a way that with a woman my age (20 years older than you) is likely to have kids.

@Heartbreakhotell I always mention my kids but not in any detail and definitely not in a "my kid are my world" way 🤮

@butterflyfed don't mess mr chef around. How would you feel like if it was the other way around and he was sussing someone else out just after agreeing to be exclusive? If you don't like him enough, end it now for both of your sakes.

@Heartbreakhotell I said quite bluntly on my profile that my kids come first. If that puts people off so be it they not my people and it’s the truth.
@butterflyFed I think agreeing to be bf gf before you meet is insane?!?

@ccgirr. No problem saying that your kids come first...as should be the case. I think what someone was saying was to not gush over them, saying that they are you'll world etc etc.

Just wish my ex-wife had put the kids first as I wouldn't be in a position of trying to see my 2 bed house, in a declining market, so that I can adequately house me & our 3 kids. I'm currently paying rent on a 4 bed place AND the mortgage on my house until I can sell it & move. And the ex - she's moving away from the area & into a house with her new boyfriend. Dd14 has not seen her mum since xmas because of it all.

Its not just shitty dads that are out there.