Dating thread 164. Fortune favours the brave

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

I’m still waiting on a time and venue...he did text this morning to say hi but no detail. he was working nights last night so I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and hope he comes up with something later? I have to fit round him as he’s going to meet me before his shift tonight. I probably sound really uptight about it but as I have had real trouble landing a date I just want this one to go ahead, even if he turns out to be 4’11” with halitosis.

If (and this is a big if) the date happens tonight, do you think I’d be ok going just smart casual? I was thinking black skinny jeans, pretty black top, heels? I’d be comfortable but not overly dressy?

That sounds like an outfit for any occasion really (although you could go with flats if it’s the pub and you prefer flats).

Which is to say: yes. Wear that. 😁

Sounds lovely @FMFL . Something I'd choose!
I'm out with work tonight and then meeting up with mr Horizontal. Glamming myself up to show him how lucky he is to have me about 🤣. We will see, may give him the summer and see about seriously looking for someone proper.

Fab thank you both! Now I just need him to show

@Cassettes sounds like a James Bond film :-)

@Auba14 think you're best out of it. Sounds like it was a toxic relationship from the start and (from having read this thread for a loong time) perhaps both of you had a part to play in that?

Lol Cassettes! I'd be wondering myself...

Paid a trip to Anne Summers this morning, sent a pic of the bag to Mr TDB in order to thoroughly distract him at work. Success.

@kermitrulesok where is it? I got a hickey last summer and didn't even hide it with makeup. People thought it was more likely a rash or abrasion rather than a 35 years old with a love bite lol My XH made me one in the lips though and that was embarrassing.

I feel so lucky to have small boobs! I find heart shaped tops flattering but having trouble with colour. I own mostly brown swimsuits that I think make me look older (and pale).

Mr Flu didn't confirm the date so I extended date #5 with MrChef. He asked me to be his girlfriend, meaning exclusive

I don't know what happen to the sex part before becoming exclusive but he said he was tired when we talked and that he doesn't want to push anything and is ok waiting.

Perfect date outfit FMFL

wooma Mr Offgrid cannot be that offgrid to be on tinder anyhow he has just messaged me. I like the idea of a man who is environmentally friendly! As long as he has Netflix 😂

cassettes wahhh what did I miss that sounded like a film and you have deleted?

Sorry about that guys - what I said was outing! If it helps, I don't think it was anything like a James Bond film, more a Benny Hill show (if any of you are old enough to remember him).

If it helps @CassettesAreCool, I read it but have already forgotten. I understand the privacy though, esp on this thread

butterfly so you are exclusive but still waiting to dtd?

Enjoy the work do and date, @Lillyrose19. I’m sure MrHorizontal will be impressed by glammed up you.

I bet he’s feeling like a very lucky man, @MoreNiceCereal.

Even eco warriors have Netflix @Marlboroandmalbec34. 😂

@CassettesAreCool I saw it. I’m not sure I’d be that impressed by that post coital conversation topic. Especially not if the coitus (to quite Sheldon in the Big Bang theory) had been so eventful. 😂

Exclusivity? @butterflyFed. That’s quite a development. Is there any reason you’re holding off the sex at this point?

Right i am dressed up and heading in to town for hopefully another date but not date.

I love reading all your updates and hope i can add my own soon.
Wish me luck

Have fun on your date but not date @GleefulGlitch. Remember we like a mid-date loo update. 😄

I'm crying and feeling sorry for myself. Hoping for some advice.

Yesterday was my birthday. Mr Shakes bought me expensive flowers, took me for a Chinese then I suggested we go back to his. At his he made no attempt to try it on. I ended up falling asleep on the sofa. No sex happened and he drove me home.

I am starting to wonder whether there is something wrong with me.

Maybe he was hoping to indicate to you that he genuinely likes you and isn’t just after sex. Often people will say that they wanted to make sure that they had proper dates after DTD and not just have the relationship be defined by sex.

It feels like sex is the most important thing to you in a relationship. And you need to have a lot of it. (This is not a bad thing necessarily). It might be worth talking to him about how you feel about sex and seeing if he’s on the same page.

And happy birthday for yesterday too.

So me and my ex have seen each other quite a bit this last couple of weeks with our youngest leaving primary school and school things in general. It's fine, we can be in each other's company without killing each other and the kids think we are friends, which is the most important thing for me.

The last couple of days have been quite emotional and he has just messaged me to say that our kids are amazing and I am doing an amazing job 😥

Don't get me wrong, I know this is a lovely thing to say but how do I respond to that? What I want to say is "I haven't had a choice...you left us for someone else and unlike you, I will never put mine or anyone else's needs before our children" but I know that's not helpful to anyone.

I guess I just say nothing.

@LooUpdate. Sorry to hear that & happy belated birthday.

I thought you and Mr Shakes were now ok after last weekend ?? Didn't you finally dtd..?? Can I ask why he had to "try it on".....could you not make the first move..? If he is still having ED issues he may anxious & prefer you to start things off. As I've said a few times on this topic....it might take some coaching by you to get his attention, so to speak. He may respond better if he knows you want it - men aren't mind readers.

However, as you seemingly are still having issues with him I think its time you cut yours losses & ended it with him.

If possible I'd reply just saying thanks @Sunshineandflipflops but if that's too soon after all you had to go through, I'd hit delete and forget it

sunshine maybe say something slightly loaded like 'Thanks, it's nice to know you appreciate it'. Or just ignore. It is annoying though - my DC are grown up now but it still annoys me that XH thinks he is due more credit for them than he is. He was great when they were little but I actually had to fight pretty hard to make sure he didn't mess them up as teenagers - at great cost to myself!