Dating thread 164. Fortune favours the brave

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@AverageGuy I wasn't taking a pop at you it's just a no from me. Different people here wouldn't mind and that's why they suggested it. Good luck with your new match don't ever feel you are out of anyone's league she swiped remember

marlboro must have been cutting to not hear it back but at least when he does say it you will truly know he means it as opposed to just reciprocating if you see what I mean 🤗

Date 3 with MrBlueEyes tonight. It's my only childfree night before taking kids away for week next week and typically he has a kid event on that he cant (and I wouldn't ask him to) miss. However, hes going to drive here as soon as he can from when it finishes so we'll still get to spend the later part of evening together (and overnight 😉) 😊

Oh that is really tough @JeSuisPrest. Although it does sound like he possibly does love you (and YES actions definitely speak louder than words) but he can’t quite let himself know or acknowledge that right at the moment.

It is very good that he managed to be so reasonable despite the alcohol and grief. And you are definitely being very sensible indeed. Well done you.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 Let him come to you if he wants the books back. And do sell the tickets. Or ask on FB if anyone wants to go. An acquaintance might be up for going. What’s the gig?

Yes @Marlboroandmalbec34, I'm always up for a gig

jesuis it’s just a word, means nothing without actions - and you’re getting those. I respect Mr C for not being afraid to raise the issue, for understanding where he is and for being open, and for caring about your reaction. Stick with.

Such a great bunch of people on here

@Marlboroandmalbec34 don't contact him, let him come to you on this one as otherwise will be like you are chasing him

@JeSuisPrest I think Mr C does love you the way can best do so, just doesn't feel ready to do so yet.

@Sunshineandflipflops i think Mr SAS does have feelings for you. Maybe he just wanted to keep his options open then and now but probably has realised there isn't anyone better than you out there.

Sorry, meant jesuis not marlboro 🤦‍♀️

chocolate Actually she didn't... I messaged her on POF on the off chance, without much hope, and she actually responded! ok, so I realise that means something, but I'm not getting any hopes up.

JeSuis I actually think he has said he loves you, he just hasn't used those specific words...

@Marlboroandmalbec34 it's so hard isn't it. The lovely @kerkyra recommended me the Mr unavailable and the fallback girl. I'm 99.9% sure that's me and MrS, but I'm the same as you. We have some lovely things planned and I'm not quite ready to give them up (especially as I'm not on any dating apps just yet).

Thanks to everyone who replied re: profile pics. Fortunately, I haven't committed any of the deadly sins listed, but I just think the pics I do have of me are maybe too bland? I only used OLD semi-seriously last year and I struggled to get matches/responses.

I don't really have an active account up at the moment, but I've been using the photofeeler website to judge which pics I should put up. I only seem to rank between 4 and 5 on the attractiveness scale. Seeing yourself rated as "below average" is quite a downer!

I don't know much about photo feeler as never used it but I think it sounds awful.

What's attractive to one person isn't to another and we are all looking for different things.

Not dating related but my ds is leaving primary school on Friday and he brought his SATs results and final report home today and I'm so proud of him! I'd be proud regardless of what they said but he moved schools in year 4 and then has had to deal with me and his dad splitting up so the last two years have been pretty tough for him but he smashed it 😊

@Sunshineandflipflops That's such a lovely post to read about your son. You should be proud of him and yourself 😊🌺

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I bagged up all of exs stuff (shite) and text him a date/time he could collect it, would that work for you? Then if he doesn’t bother you can bin/donate without any comeback.

You could see if anyone would be willing to buy the tickets, even if you don’t get full price it’s better than nothing.

MrNN takes off for JFK at 7:30, then the 14 day countdown is on.

Sunshine lovely to hear your son's great results, kids are resilient but this stuff does affect them (my son denies it to not upset us but I've seen it for myself) so you've clearly done a good job in supporting him 👏👏

Thanks @JeSuisPrest

Thank you @Ant330. He's pretty amazing ❤️

@Sunshineandflipflops that's such a lovely post. You must be so proud of him.

@SouthernMan I hear you on the profile pictures. It's the biggest thing I have to sort yet. I want to sign up, but finding pictures isn't easy.

I do agree with sunshineandflipflops though. That site sounds awful. Don't do that to yourself.

Hey ragbag,hows the book going? I'm still only a quarter the way through!

Mr dadbod hasn't been in touch at all,after I asked if he wanted to meet up later this week. Maybe he felt the same way as me? Which would be the best outcome as then I haven't hurt him.

An old iron,Mr rugby is sending me pics from four year ago of when we went rowing down a river. He is very much unavailable though so a no hoper.

And Mr eyes,who ghosted me a few weeks ago is trying to get into my good books by asking if he can come to his first football match with me. I hardly think a trip to watch Birmingham will the highlight of his year! Have said I need a month off from men and I will see how I feel about it in August and will get in touch if I fancy it.

I'm halfway through the book @kerkyra it's an eyeopener that's for sure.

I recognise a hell of a lot in MrS and some of the traits in me too for the fallback girl. I don't quite agree with all of it. But enough to make me seriously look at it and consider them once I decide MrS has ran his course and annoyed me enough with his crumbs.

Ratbag,are you chatting to others/dating? Or have all your eggs in one basket. It sure is very tricky when you want more than they can give

I was always a one man woman but since my experience and reading that book, next time I wont be putting all my eggs in one basketcase. Though tbf my aim is not to choose a basketcase ideally. Did others who read it recognise themselves as unavailable too? I can see it in hindsight. 20/20 vision and all that

@supercali77 I was about 12-18 months ago, and I can see that I was. Although then I was only after FWB anyway. I think I'm ok on the availability now, although a few of the traits are still there.

@kerkyra I have a FWB situation still happening. MrL. He's cool but it's very very long distance.
And I have a couple of people I'm chatting too at the moment too. I've definitely stepped back from MrS after his "we're not exclusive" conversation.