Dating thread 164. Fortune favours the brave

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

No sunglasses in your main profile photo, I need to see eyes, I think you can tell a lot about a person by their eyes. No lying about age. Clear photos. No half naked/bed photos. I don't mind photos of men with their kids personally. And don't forget to smile!

And no stupid snapchat filters, ugh.

So what do you do when you tell someone that you love them and they tell you they really care about you too? 💔🗡

Funny reading your points to @southernMan regarding his photos because it seems that's how the majority of womens photos I see on POF are like.

If I had a pound for every profile I've seen where the woman is in a group (who's your friend. ..she's hot btw) or is at her dc's graduation (great hat) or is a selfie in a mirror or taken on the sofa slobbing watching TV.......I would be a rich man. Other no nos are showing far too much cleavage (you are only get one response from those photos) & having 3 photos with 1 being of just your dog & I of you standing in your very messy kitchen that hasn't been cleaned for weeks.

Btw. ....mine are pretty useless but my dating has taken a back seat so I'm not that bothered if I dont catch anyone eye atm.

Omg.....as crazysnakelady just said. Bloody snapchat filters !! Dogs noses & bunny ears.....NOOOOO.

chocolate123 point taken. As I said, it was the threads advice, as I was getting nowhere with matches.

However, I may have an iron! I'll call her Miss BA, as she works for an airline. (you have to guess which one though! )..

However, she is soooo far out of my league, it's not funny. We have exchanged a couple of "getting to know you" messages (well, we exchanged one lot, then she didn't respond for four days, but given her job, I suppose that might be excusable..

I am 56 but have set Tinder to 53, to beat the 55 cutoff. I tell any matches immediately

oh, and I swipe left on profiles with only one profile picture, which is a photo of a flower, or sunset or mountain or something... Don't they realize people swipe right on people, not things?

Oh no @JeSuisPrest. Did you go for the L word last night?

Many years ago (and while I was a deluded fool) I told my ex that I loved him just before he was going away for a month. He did not reciprocate (I remember feeling very rejected), because he ‘doesn’t like to lie’. I can’t remember what he did say, but it wasn’t as nice as ‘I really care about you too’. At no point in our decade long relationship did he ever say he loved me. Not once. Because he didn’t.

However, in MrC’s case maybe he felt put on the spot and hadn’t quite worked himself up to saying the L word yet.

Simon I don't have particularly defined or muscley arms, think I'd describe myself as slim and toned (for a 47 year old) and even I thought I looked good 😂
But I got changed before she came round as I didn't want her to feel guilty that I'd got dressed up to go out. We're rearranging for tomorrow night if she's feeling better anyway.
Shitwith proud of you for telling him what your needs are and what he's not providing. Must have been difficult not knowing what his response would be, so well done.
Marls sorry you're feeling down about MrBig, it will get easier
Coffee shame Mr5in1 can't come to Cornwall with you but I was expecting him to say he needs to stay near his mum. Clearly a very caring and supportive man though so can see why you like him.
WooMaWang "and that he has nice ears" 😂never imagined anybody would be examining my ears in a profile pic 😂
SouthernMan I take a bloody awful selfie and was too embarrassed to get any mates to take photos, so I took a selection in front of a big mirror with the camera out of shot which I think came out ok and were an accurate representation of me. I only had 3 in my profile, the most popular being the one where my dog attacked me part way through 😂
WooMaWang is right, i got a few comments re nice house or nice decor, so make sure there isn't a hoover, ironing board, or massive pile of washing behind you. Christ I saw a lot of those!
MissH came round last night and we just cuddled up in bed to watch a film as she had stomach ache, she fell asleep on me halfway through. I'm working from home though today so if her stomach ache's gone later she's popping back round

Oh @JeSuisPrest, how are you feeling about it?

Maybe he just wasn't prepared?

JeSuis you don't do anything 😉 you know how much he cares for you and how good you are together, and however much it stings he might just have panicked in the moment or is one of those people who has to be absolutely 100% sure before he says it. None of which is bad nor affects how he feels and how right you are for each other.
Try not to overthink it, although I imagine that's exactly what you're doing

jesuis oh no! I don’t know what to say! Hope you are ok. From everything you say it’s obvious he cares

average I think I advised to change your age and it makes sense I think to avoid the cut off BUT I think it needs to be clear in profile

Wow I feel shit! Why have I ended it? Why doesn’t he care ☹️☹️

I'm busy looking at remote log cabins/glamping options for August bank holiday weekend for Mr SAS and I (providing his daughter can make arrangements for the weekend). Hot tub is essential!

He texted me this morning to say he had a really lovely evening and it's the simple things like going for a walk with me that he enjoys.

I don't actually think he's dating anyone else at the moment but I also know that he could and I wouldn't really be able to be upset.

I have a date update!

Not good.
Met him in a bar near work and when he turned up i nearly died.

I am 5ft 11 and over 6ft in heels. I put this on my profile.
He was 5ft 5 if that.
He didnt list his height but in hindsight maybe i should have checked?

Nice enough guy but we just looked ridiculous stood together at the bar.

@GleefulGlitch I think if I were as tall as you I think would be asking height! I think if a man doesn't state his height then there is a good chance he is on the shorter side.

Hello! Thinking of joining this thread. Very very recently single AGAIN. Ugh. Mid (nearly late) 30s, no kids. What are the best dating sites to use? I'm really dreading doing it all over again, but I guess you have to get back on the horse?

@Marlboroandmalbec34 You ended it because he was being a duplicitous shit. And that’s not OK.

It’s so bloody hard when you have feelings though. I remember several people on the thread saying that they found the break up of shorter OLD relationships harder than the end of their marriages. I think the consensus was that it’s because it came out of the blue and totally wrong footed them. It sounds like you’re feeling similarly like the rug’s been pulled from under you.

@GleefulGlitch It’s a shame that he wasn’t for you. I guess the lesson is to check if height is important to you.

@Ant330 I didn’t notice the ears at the time, tbh. It was just looking at it again that I realised. He does have very nice ears though. 😂

@Marlboroandmalbec34 Sorry you are feeling down. It's really hard, I know. This is similar to what happened with me, except that we'd never had the 'exclusive' chat so he wasn't actually lying to me...or gaslighting...that's just shit. But still, hurt like a bastard. I got back on the apps and dated Mr Art for a while, which was a nice distraction but not for everyone.

I know you want to hear from him but maybe now he's actually doing the decent thing and staying away so as not to hurt you more.

@JeSuisPrest he totally thinks the world of you. DO NOT OVERTHINK THIS (as a fellow complete overthinker I know you are!) sending hugs.xx

Yes lesson learned!

I am sure he felt my awkwardness. I dont think i hid it well. I stayed an hour with him made my excuses and met my friends in the pub round the corner ( i had them on stand by).

@Sunshineandflipflops I really think me SAS maybe falling for you!! X