Dating thread 164. Fortune favours the brave

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

When someone from here posts something intriguing on another thread is there a rule against asking for more info here? 🤣

So proud of you @shitwithsugaron. X

Yes I'm proud of you too. In fact I agree with everything ginmel writes and she gets in just before me, so assume ditto from me unless otherwise stated, it'll save me typing repeating what she said 😂

Mr 5in1 isn't coming to Cornwall - very sensibly doesn't want to be far from his mum when she's just out of hospital.

Ant330 shirt sleeves rolled up are beautiful on any man any time. Not least because imagining unbuttoning a shirt and getting at the man underneath is a very sexy thing indeed what do you all mean my sexual frustration is showing

😂❤️

I think you’ve got us all intrigued now @Ginmel.

You have done really well tonight @shitwithsugaron. You should be proud of how strong your boundaries are now, and your sense of what you deserve.

@CassettesAreCool is totally right; rolled up shirt sleeves are always great.

He might only have decent head and shoulder shots @Stilllookingforhardy. I have very few full length photos of myself because no one ever takes any of me.

Same shitwith proud of you. keep in mind what you deserve

Nice couple of hours with Mr Tennis. He is fun and funny and clever BUT he is the same height as me AND I don’t know if I told you last time about his age? My tinder age setting is 35-49, we matched and he didn’t have his age on profile so I assumed from pics he was late 40s anyway he is 57! Doesn’t look it at all but makes him 20 yrs older than me! Age is just a number but it feel dishonest that he obviously put his dob incorrectly to attract younger women. Also never married, no kids, lots of money. Very interesting life but so different to mine. Anyway I like him but I am still just trying not to cry over Mr Big so 🤷‍♀️

No word from Mr Big today. Only 2nd time in 6 months that a day has passed without contact ☹️ I know he is unavailable and a shit and I ended it for good reason but I am desperately sad and so wish he would phone and say sorry and that he made a mistake and is mad about me 🙈 I know I know I’m a fool!

Oh sorry to butt in - I'm just setting up my tinder profile and just wondering if you use your real name or a nickname on the app?

I just used my first name on tinder. Everyone does. You swipe through a sea of Dave, 38, Mark, 35, etc.

helpme I originally had a nickname but that got irritating so now I have my real name

Cool thanks- wish me luck- I'm diving in!!

marlboro I really feel for you, however right you were to end it -100% right - the day to day is hard. Stick with it sunshine 💐

You’re no fool matlboro. And good luck helpme

Evening, all!

Male asking for advice: I can never seem to get my profile pictures right. but I've been using POF to browse other guy's profiles to take a look at the competition. My word, there are some awful profiles out there. I'm amazed you ladies ever find anyone to swipe right on...

So my question, as a guy who's not going to be mistaken for David Gandy anytime soon, what can I do to appear more swipe-able in my pictures? Is there an ideal number of pictures? Do I have to be doing extreme sports in most of them? Please help!

@SouthernMan just normal pictures. No fish no chest out in the gym and no bathroom selfies. Best thing is let a few here view your profile for some options on how to enhance profile. Feel free to pm your profile if you want to

Get a mate to take your photo. Don't have your main photo as you in a group so we can't see who you are. Don't be wrestling a drugged tiger, and try to give them a hook to reply to - e.g. a pic of you with your dog, or doing your hobby. Don't be naked, lairy drunk or weird. Say words about yourself too. Don't say what you're not looking for.

@SouthernMan no photos of you holding a beer or photos of your kids either (if you have any) & that includes blacking out their faces. Remember to smile.

No cropped photo with a woman where you can see her hand on your shoulder. A variety of settings works better than a series of selfies done in your living room.

Although a selfie in your living room is useful, as we can get a peek at what your house is like. 😂

Definitely no lying in bed shots. Eurgh.

Nothing seedy ... just relaxed ... maybe not even posing ? .... looking at something else difficult one isn’t it ?

I looked back at the screenshots I took of MrSG’s photos (which clearly I liked enough to swipe on - he had no bio text, so that’s all I was going on). His main one was a living room selfie. He also had a selfie taken in his hallway (a weird choice), a photo of him snowboarding (which really showed off the gingeriness of his hair), a photo of him I think in a pub (no pint in hand, but not taken with a great camera so it’s quite low res), and a side on full length photo of him in shorts and a shirt taken on a holiday somewhere (which mostly indicated that he was short and doesn’t stand up straight, and that he has nice ears). Several of them were not particularly recent (he hasn’t been snowboarding for several years now), but they weren’t wildly misrepresentative of how he looks now.

From this I conclude that the photos don’t have to be perfect for you to get matches. But it is best to avoid the fish/tigers/loo selfie/gym selfie/topless in bed/etc genres that put all of us on this thread off. And recent is always better.

Malboro as a man of 57 myself, when I suggested my age might be putting people off, the thread's advice was to lower my age on the main profile, but state it in the text...

Hasn't worked so far... Maybe I need to shave a few more years off.

southernguy Welcome! It's really difficult out there. It's a numbers game for sure. How long have you been looking?

@AverageGuy I have to say it would be an instant no for me someone changing their age even if they said in text. I don't see the point really.

@SouthernMan I agree with what others have said re photos. Instant left swipes for me are naked torso's (even if you have an impressive six pack, I don't want to see it unless I am getting naked with you), children in photos, women in photos, tongues out, looking way too serious...I could go on!

Mr SAS came round last night, it was lovely. We went for a walk, had some wine and dinner and other things and he left at 1am (yawn).

He left his wash bag at my house though so I have had to hide it away until I see him next week in case my kids find it and look in it to discover a cock ring! That would take some explaining...