No invite for me ...should I be upset?

[ortr]

I was introduced to a woman through a friend (I'm female ) we kissed.
Then she started inviting me to do things with them (the 4 of us including our mutual friend )
We started to sleep together.
Then we've been out on a few dates just me and her.
We text daily a lot.
Today she is going out with her friend (who is part of the group when we go out ) and she hasn't invited me.
I feel a bit sad but it's her friend she's going with and I'm kind of not her friend am I ?
It's a odd situation isn't it.
I don't know.

You are being an idiot though

Tbh I wouldn't be bothering inviting you or messaging you when you aren't even in a relationship and you're acting like this,actually it doesn't even matter what situation you're in

You sound controlling and you're throwing a hissy fit over her wanting to hang out with her friends

Bloody hell, as another poster said, I'm getting annoyed and it's not even me in this situation

Yes plenty of relationships.
First gay dating (not that that makes a difference)
In my head now all I'm thinking is
She hasn't invited me along,and I have no idea why.
She was messaging me all week,all last night.
This morning,I was ill this week and she was checking I was ok.
I haven't done anything to upset her,she seemed interested.
Our last date she was lovely to me,kissing me,really affectionate.
It just seemed really positive.
Surely if she wasn't into me she wouldn't have done that.

So if you have all those positives, why focus on what you perceive as a negative?

Look, she's obviously into you from your 13.24.29 post but she's off having a day with her mates - people do that. Sometimes you'll be invited too, sometimes you won't. Having a spouse/partner/girlfriend/casualshag along changes the dynamics of the group, regardless of the length or intensity of that individual relationship. It's not a rejection at all, it's her continuing to have her life which is normal and healthy. Parts are separate to yours, parts are combined. Some days you'll get loads of texts, others you won't because she's busy with something (friends, work, feeling ill, whatever). You just need to get on with your own life while you're not with her. It's the only way for any relationship to work. Have a good time yourself and when you're next texting each other you'll be able to tell her what you've been up to instead of saying that you were sat at home pining! Trust me, this is a rabbit hole you don't want to fall down - been there, done that.
Phone a friend, get out there having fun.

Oh my god 🙄

I'd tell you seriously to back away now from her because if you did get into a relationship I can PROMISE you there will be more than one occasion she'll be going out and not wanting you there

Do yourselves both a favour

You're bordering on being controlling here op and it's a disgusting look!

Regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not she is allowed to have time away from you, to go out with friends and have fun. You are not attached at the hip!

Get over it! You wouldn't be thinking this if you were with a guy and he was out with his guy mates!

People do things without each other. You really need to get your friends out of your head. You were bowling along having a perfectly normal new relationship then they came along and turned you into paranoid and needy. Take a breath, go and do something fun, text her tonight saying you hope she's had a lovely day and mean it!

Why are you making it about something it's probably not though OP? She isn't obligated to invite you to anything, even if you two were married. It's very normal to see a variety of people with there being no comment on ones that didn't get invited.

Maybe since the dynamic between you has recently changed, she wants to talk it over with friends and enjoy platonic company. Seeing the person you're casually dating all the time isn't necessary and the situation can be cloying if you do.

I think you'll only cause a problem by taking it personally, and being off with her. At the end of the day if she actually didn't invite you because she wants to phase you out, that is her choice anyway? Not everything works out.

Maybe have a think about why you're fearing the worst, and why you think she should be responsible for your feelings or insecurity to this degree (because she isn't) if a casual relationship is causing a negative effect on your emotional health then is it for you? I would discuss with her where she sees it going and assert yourself if the answer doesn't suit you.

I'm just sat home alone now,my friend couldn't go out in the end.
Looking at Snapchats /pics of them all having fun yet I'm sat on my own,when she could have invited me along
I haven't seen her for two weeks as I have been really unwell for the last 12 days,couldn't get out of bed etc.
If they all just sat around drinking /picnic etc
There's no reason why she didn't invite me except for her just not wanting me there.
That hurts

My god, get a grip.

You said "First gay dating (not that that makes a difference". Well it clearly does make a difference to you but not her.

You said you'd get it if it was a man. My DP invites me along sometimes and not others and vice versa. That's because having partners/dates/love interests there changes the whole dynamic. That applies whether you are gay or not.

You are creating drama where there is none. And if you couldn't get out of bed the last 12 days then you really need to recuperate anyway.

Oh get the violins out 🙄

You are not taking on board anything anyone has said

And you said you saw her last week (when mutual friend didn't want to join you), now you haven't seen her for 2 weeks, have been really ill for 2 weeks, had friends round last night, are well enough to go out......

Really. Listen to yourself, calm down and do this girl a favour and back off

Perhaps she thinks you're not well enough if you've been ill for 12 days and unable to get out of bed. Was it something catching?

Definitely need to get a grip here op. Just because your friend bailed soesnt nean you have to obsessively check snap chat. Go for a coffee with a book or something. Shes not responsible for entertaining you!

Oh my you do sound pathetic! No wonder she wanted a weekend off if you're this bad?! How old are you?

Have you been bombarding her with texts?

You seem determined to see this as somehow totally different different from beginning a straight relationship. It's not. Just because she's female does not change the dynamics. It's very new potential relationship. you are not suddenly integral to her circle of friends. You are not her new best friend. You are not her everything. She is allowed see her friends without you. If she invited you, it would be a date. She doesn't want a date right now, she wants to see her friends. Slow down.

There are MANY reasons you weren't invited, including the fact that you've been ill for almost two weeks. I hate to say this but you sound incredibly moany and self absorbed. That's not attractive. We're all capable of a bit of a pity party at times but you're the only one who thinks you should be included in everything. That's suffocating

OP you are being ridiculous. Im out.

Well actually there's 5 girls but the other girl doesn't do things all the time.

Does she get upset when others go out without her?

If I was going out with one mate I would not bring my new GF along, it makes it a bit awkward for the friend.

Don't spoil a good thing by being possessive.

Jesus Christ! This can’t be real.

Maybe you're just too needy and clingy?

Has she got anyone close to her with their head screwed on who’ll tell her to dump you for being a controlling, obsessive oddball? If not, can I have her number?

I'm not needy or clingy.
I haven't text her at all today apart from this morning when she text and I just replied to have a nice time.
No point as she will be very drunk by now.