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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

No invite for me ...should I be upset?

136 replies

ortr · 13/07/2019 08:38

I was introduced to a woman through a friend (I'm female ) we kissed.
Then she started inviting me to do things with them (the 4 of us including our mutual friend )
We started to sleep together.
Then we've been out on a few dates just me and her.
We text daily a lot.
Today she is going out with her friend (who is part of the group when we go out ) and she hasn't invited me.
I feel a bit sad but it's her friend she's going with and I'm kind of not her friend am I ?
It's a odd situation isn't it.
I don't know.

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 13/07/2019 10:46

So it's gone from her meeting one friend and nobody really agreeing with you and it's now actually 6 friends going?

Get over it

Ribenaberriesgowoo82 · 13/07/2019 10:49

Maybe she feels you are her girlfriend. You are certainly both acting like you're together.

zoezipp · 13/07/2019 10:50

The two of you barely know each other. You’re not in relationship and she’s entitled to spend time with her friends without you. You sound controlling to be honest. Perhaps it’s best if she doesn’t enter into a relationship with you if this is how you respond to her having fun Hmm

funnylittlefloozie · 13/07/2019 10:50

Im trying to be kind, but you're coming across here as rather needy and clingy... is it possible that you are a bit like that in real life and she wants a bit of space from you?

feathermucker · 13/07/2019 10:51

You're overthinking this.

You don't have to do everything together. Time apart is healthy.

yourestandingonmyneck · 13/07/2019 10:51

I don't think your friends would have suggested this was an issue if it wasn't for the fact that it's a same-sex relationship.

If you had started seeing a guy and he wanted to go out with his buddy I don't think anyone would see an issue. I think it's because you are are girls they see it as "being left out".

But you're right, you're not a platonic friend, you're a potential relationship. She probably wants to chat things through with her friend, like most ppl would with a new relationship.

I don't think there is anything to worry about or to take offence. Just play it with a straight bat and see how it goes x

yourestandingonmyneck · 13/07/2019 10:55

......You did say it was just one friend in your OP. Why have you now changed it to 6? 🤔

IvanaPee · 13/07/2019 10:58

You assumed her friends were your friends because you’re shagging her?

Now it’s six friends and not one.

I’m confused.

I will say this though - you need to stop being so needy. IF she was posting on here posters would be telling her to break contact with you.

SylvanianFrenemies · 13/07/2019 11:01

"Wasn't good enough to be invited"?! Kill the drama. Neediness isn't a turn on.

Maybe she wants to have separate time with her friends. A normal and healthy thing to do. Stop overthinking and dramatising, or you will ruin your developing relationship.

ortr · 13/07/2019 11:02

I thought it was just her and her friend till she put a Snapchat on her story of the camp chairs they are taking with them.
What is confusing for me is because it's women and normally with a guy I would think
"Oh he's out wit his friends and wouldn't dream of me tagging alone "
But the first couple of times I met 2 of her friends was before we starting "dating" so I thought oh we getting friendly.
Also I am going away in December with them as friends so I assumed we were now friends.
I'm just confused of the boundaries

OP posts:
Ribenaberriesgowoo82 · 13/07/2019 11:05

ortr, seriously, you need to just stop over thinking this.

ortr · 13/07/2019 12:04

I'm just going to turn my phone off for the day
She hasn't bothered even texting
I can't be bothered

OP posts:
Ribenaberriesgowoo82 · 13/07/2019 12:05

Why the drama?

ortr · 13/07/2019 12:08

There is no drama
Nobody likes to be excluded tho do they

OP posts:
GenuineKlatchianPottery · 13/07/2019 12:09

So you were having an evening with your friends that she wasn’t invited to and during the course of that evening you got upset you weren’t invited to spend time with her friends?
Kind of double standards.
You’re both allowed to spend time with whoever you want.

amiapropermum · 13/07/2019 12:12

YABU. You hung out with your friends. She's hanging out with her friends.

prampushingdownthehighst · 13/07/2019 12:14

Maybe they find you annoying...
You've annoyed me already with the moaning

IvanaPee · 13/07/2019 12:22

Why the fuck would she text you??

ortr · 13/07/2019 12:30

She messages daily
She's uploading plenty of pics of them all having a whale of a time.
Feel like a total idiot

OP posts:
readitandwept · 13/07/2019 12:32

Bit today she's busy with friends.

readitandwept · 13/07/2019 12:32

*But

amiapropermum · 13/07/2019 12:48

Why wouldn't they have a whale of a time? 🙄 Or is she only allowed to enjoy herself with you? It'll go nowhere fast if that's your attitude

Bluntness100 · 13/07/2019 12:54

I don't know what you and your friends are thinking. But irrelevant of the genders invovked, when you get to the stage you don't want the person you're dating going out with their mates without you then you need to give your head a wobble and ask yourself why you're so controlling and needy.

She is entitled to time with her friend without you. She is not excluding uou. She simply doesn't have to invite you every time.

It's simply awful you think she has to, and your so called friends are encouraging your behaviour.

Ribenaberriesgowoo82 · 13/07/2019 12:56

She's busy with friends! Why should she be texting you!?

Ribenaberriesgowoo82 · 13/07/2019 13:09

Can I ask, have you had many relationships in the past?

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