Cheating.

[Michellepebbles86]

Ok, so I need help! I have no friends to talk to about this and it’s driving me crazy.

I suspect my fiance of 4 years is cheating on me. Again. We live together and have done for 3 years.

All the signs are there. I just can’t prove a thing and even if I did he would deny it. 2 years ago 2 desperate women found me on Facebook to tell me they were messaging and had slept with him. He denied both and still does to this day. I forgave him and moved on. Idiot I know!!! All was well until about 6 month ago.....

He keeps his phone on him constantly. Even if he wants to show me something on it he will screenshot it and message it me. He leaves the room to talk on it. It’s always on silent. Not enough to warrant a worry I know but here’s the rest..... when I ask to spend time together he’s always too busy. Too tired. But can go on his xbox all the time. Can make time to go meet his friends. He’s also stopped making any kind of effort with me not just with sex but cuddles, hugs, etc.

I was casually on BT site querying a bill and his mobile is on it. So I thought I’d check why the bill was so high in case he was ordering stuff. There’s a number that he’s ringing every day on his way home from work, on his way to work and throughout the day. It’s also being texted at times when I’m either still asleep in the morning or have gone to bed at night. Alarm bells right!?? Am I being paranoid? I haven’t spoken to him for three days because I don’t know how to feel. If I say something, he will deny it point blank. Also he has a knack of turning things around on me whenever I say I’m unhappy with something. So I just don’t. I can’t afford to leave him or kick him out right now. I feel so trapped with all this info, these feelings and what to do!!!

I have a 16 daughter, 10 boy, 10 girl (not twins but 9 months apart) and a bit 8. My daughters are both so loving and emotionally intelligent. Let her give you lots of love today x

A boy not bit!

And there is NO pressure on you to do anything today, you’re in shock ♥️

I’m in awe of your strength OP, well done ❤️

He’s on his way round for some stuff and to sort the car, animals etc and where we go from here. I’ll be going out to the car to talk as he doesn’t ever deserve to step another foot over my door. I just have to stay strong, not let him see me cry and not lose my temper.

You've got this OP keep going 💐

My dad has lent me some money to pay this weeks rent and he has taken my daughter shopping to stock up the fridge. He’s been brilliant. Just waiting on the ex. I look like crap but I’ve nothing to prove so I really don’t care. I need a nervous wee 😫😫

I dread to think what bullshit excuses he comes out with, if any. I hope it goes ok for you. 💐

Oh I love Dads!! THATS the kind of man you and your children deserve.

If he's there now, I hope you're okay. If not, be strong woman! Almost have on repeat "I don't need your excuses, we're over"

You're doing amazingly! Keep going @Michellepebbles86 💓

Yeah just excuses. He seemed relieved tbh. Apparently his life is shit, his work is shit and he wasn’t happy. All the usual crap. I didn’t even get angry, I didn’t cry. Sat there for about an hour but to cut a long story short i walked away after saying I’m better than him and I held my head high. My dad was in the house with my daughter and will be here tomorrow when he collects the rest of his belongings. I feel I got some closure after he told me everything and I’m ready to move on with my life. It’s going to be hard, I’ve lost my best friend and my future but it’ll be ok in the end. I’ve got my kids, I’ve got my family and I have my new job in September as a cook in a lovely boarding school. Things will get better than this and the way I’m feeling won’t last forever. Tonight is stuffing my face and watching films with the youngest. I can’t guarentee I won’t cry at all but it is what it is 🤷‍♀️

Now I have to find a home for a bloody chameleon and a 4ft tall Viv 😭😭😭

Maybe advertise or ask at Pets at home.

I’ve put him on pre loved and pets 4 homes so I hope someone can give him a good home as he’s amazing. Managed to make some money already off some Pandora Jewellery so that’s a bill paid next week. Progress.

I know a few people have said this @Michellepebbles86 but you are amazing. I've never been able to be as smart nor as brave as you. You'll be my inspiration going forward xxx

Thankyou so much. Tomorrow I could break down or I could be ok. Or next week. Who knows. I just know I’ve got to put a smile on and just crack on. I’m living for me now. I’m going to work on the house making it look all pink like I wanted 😂 and myself. I’m going to do some meditation when I go to bed tonight and just take each day as it comes. Currently eating pizza, ice cream next and binge watching Glee.

Go girl go , you’ve got this
Even if you do cry tonight tomorrow next week, so what your letting it all out. Frustration, anger, hurt, betrayal

Have you been on turn2us site, it will give you an idea what you would be entitled to.

I’m just going to ring first thing Monday and see what I can do and what avenues I can go down. I’m sure it’ll work out money wise, I’ve borrowed enough to pay rent for the next two weeks

You’re brilliant OP, just take it a day at a time. It’s all any of us can do. You never know what great things are just around the corner!

Breaking down and crying and feeling sad etc - they're all fine. You're amazing whatever 👍

You are amazing op I agree take it a day at a time

My 15 yo just came in stoned. I’m too tired to deal ✋ he’s never done that before. I really hope this isn’t a result of the past couple of days and he thinks this is ok. I’ll let this one slide and pretend I didn’t notice but I’ll be searching his room later. Ffs it doesn’t rain but it pours right 😂😂😂😂 I need a break 😭😭😭

Don’t forget to go to the bank and get him taken off any of your accounts too! Your doing amazingly!

I've been reading your post and I'd like to say that you are a brave, strong woman. Well done for sweeping the rubbish out of the door.
Your dad sounds such a supportive sweetie, you will be OK x

Thankfully nearly everything is in my name. The crying and heartbroken part has kicked in. I think it’s bed time for me and tomorrow is a new day. It’s been a mental 24 hours but Thankyou so much to everyone getting me through it without a mental breakdown, an assault charge and not taking him back. Xxxxxx