Partner going on holiday with ex and kids

[SimoneW86]

Hi, I have been in a relationship with my partner for 2 months. He left his ex to be with me. he has 2 children with his ex. They had previously booked a holiday whilst still together and he has just told me he still intends to go. I feel very uncomfortable with the idea of him going away with his ex. He says it’s just for the kids sake and only going as it was already planned before the split and won’t happen again etc. I just can’t help but feel it’s a little disrespectful going away with your ex whilst you have a new partner. I do trust him and trust nothing will happen as he left her for me so I trust he wants me, but I just feel disrespected. How do I get over this?

Don't kid yourself, this is what you've 'won' a man who will never be trustworthy. I wouldn't trust him for a second, as the saying goes, he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. If he didn't want to go he wouldn't

I feel it’s a bit disrespectful to leave the mother of your children for another woman

You can’t actually be serious? You just met this guy 2 months ago and he’s already messed up his kids’ lives by breaking up their family. They are his life and of course it’s normal for him to want to keep things as stable as possible for them right now.

If it’s not going to be something you’re comfortable with though, you barely know him, so now is a good time to walk before you get anymore invested. Fwiw, my parents used to take us on family holidays for years after they divorced. It was actually an ideal situation for me because it meant I got to spend time with my dad (who never otherwise had me for overnights, he wasn’t a very capable parent). It was definitely NOT because my parents had any interest in getting back together!

You've been together 2 months? So he left his "ex" a couple of weeks ago? A month? After knowing you a few weeks?

He’s changed his mind, you’ve been fun but now he wants his family back.
Try not to be sad about it, he’s a cheating arsehole and it’s better you face reality now rather than later

No it would be much better for him to say to his kids that in addition to walking out on my family and messing your lives up, you also can't have your family holiday you've been looking forward to because the new girlfriend, who was happy with me being a cheating shit when it suited her, is suddenly concerned about being on the receiving end. Grow up.

And yes I'd say Hoppinggreen is spot on. The reality of what he's done has kicked in and he regrets it.

You should possibly accept the likely possibility that, either:

A. He hasn’t actually left his wife. You’re still having an affair with him while he gets on with family life and lies to everyone.

B. His wife told him to leave when she found out about his affair. He’s probably telling her that it’s over/meant nothing and trying to get her to take him back. All while continuing his affair with you.

Disrespectful?? Are you taking the piss? Jeez.

Also a "boyfriend" of 2 months who left his wife and kids for his bit on the side isn't a partner.

Why would his “ex” want to go on holiday with him after he left her for you?

Has he moved in with you?

Good point, has he actually told his ex he still intends to go or is he just assuming? She might tell him to get stuffed.

Once a cheater always a cheater (and emotional cheating counts as much as physical cheating). If I were you I’d leave - you will never be able to trust him., and nor should you. Any guy who leaves his partner and kids for a fling is an asshole.

Erm you have no right whatsoever to be angry about this, he's barely a boyfriend, let alone partner.

Whilst I don't agree with his actions regarding leaving the family to be with you I think it's a good thing for his children to still have their holiday with both parents, possibly for the last time.

If you trust him, what is the issue?

i can't help but feeling you're a 'dirty secret' his wife probably doesn't even know you exist, think highly unlikely she'd want him around on holiday so soon after leaving her and the dc for someone else.
dump him and move on, he's a complete shit.

You seem like the type of woman to make him feel guilty seeing his kids, because your to paranoid for him to be around his ex because deep down you probably know there still shagging. It's just one of them

have the school holidays started in the UK?

Private schools.

why would this not be real ? some people do stupid things, esp. men [according to mn]

Not just private schools. The school year is over in Scotland.

Oh OP are you really do clueless?!

Holidays have started in Scotland.

Are you sure she's an ex, you can't trust somebody who does the dirty on their partner. If he did end it with her he has a vacancy for an affair, I'd be more worried about this tbh.
Maybe find yourself a free man then you won't have to go through this worry all the time.
Do you think you might be a bit premature calling him a partner after 2 months?
You get over it by coming to terms with the fact he has children which will always come first, although he doesn't seem to be able to keep his cock in his pants.

So a little more context. We were friends for a year before getting together so wasn’t just a fling or spur of moment thing. We’ve been together as in he left the relationship 2 months ago I’ve met the children and he’s living with me. His ex knows everything. She knows he intends to go away with them still. I have no issues or concerns of him going back to the ex whilst away. I just feel it’s disrespectful going away with an ex.... yes maybe it’s disrespectful what happened in regards to us getting together but you can’t help who you fall in love with.
In regards to the school holidays question... not yet but the holiday is end of the month when the school holidays are on.

I don’t think he ever has, or ever will, truly respect you.