Partner going on holiday with ex and kids

[SimoneW86]

Hi, I have been in a relationship with my partner for 2 months. He left his ex to be with me. he has 2 children with his ex. They had previously booked a holiday whilst still together and he has just told me he still intends to go. I feel very uncomfortable with the idea of him going away with his ex. He says it’s just for the kids sake and only going as it was already planned before the split and won’t happen again etc. I just can’t help but feel it’s a little disrespectful going away with your ex whilst you have a new partner. I do trust him and trust nothing will happen as he left her for me so I trust he wants me, but I just feel disrespected. How do I get over this?

I think that you should just tolerate this feeling that you have about your new partner,and his taking a holiday with his ex and their children.If the holiday was booked earlier,then his children will be looking forward to it.

All this talk about him getting back together with the ex and having sex with her is just an idiot way of thinking.

When I was divorced many many years ago,my ex and I,and our two teenage children,went on a previously arranged holiday to France,on a boating holiday on a river there. We had been divorced for about three months,and my ex had already moved in with a new partner.

We had a great time,and managed to have a happy holiday all together.
The other woman was highly disgruntled about all this, but basically I couldn't have cared less. My ex and I did not sleep together on the boat,as the sleeping arrangements were very good on this large boat.

My ex eventually married this new partner, who was about 20 years younger than him and me,she was a bit of a control freak,and insecure I think, and not mature about things as myself and my ex were.

So I think it's quite ok for your partner to take a pre arranged holiday with his ex and their children,without any odd ball thoughts about everything. I think that you already stated,that he wouldn't be doing this again in the future.

My DH went away with his wife and kids to visit her relatives who live abroad with the kids after they had split up and we were quite newly together.

It had been planned a while one of the last things they had planned while still trying to save the marriage. I can't say I was ecstatic about it but it was a lot of money, he'd known the family for years and been holidaying there for years.

I went away on a long planned trip with some girlfriends. We've holiday separately since, together as well and, a couple of times due to circumstances with his ex and/or her relatives.

They parent well together.

Slightly off topic but imo he isn't your partner. You've been seeing him for 2 months. That's only just boyfriend territory never mind about the OW shit.

But he must've hooked up with you while still with her and their kids - if he left her for you .... So talking about being disrespectful is a joke.

They say when a man leaves his wife for his 'mistress', a new mistress vacancy opens up.

You’re that sort of woman that no other woman ever wants to be friends with. How did you befriend a married man with kids anyway? Oh let me guess...did you work together? Hahaha!

I have no issue with your boyfriend leaving his wife for you. Relationships break down, people change, no one should feel obligated to stay in an unhappy marriage.That, as they say, is life.

But, he's got children. He left their mother, not them. He was unhappy with their mother, not them. He fell out of love with their mother but not with them. To dump his kids for his new girlfriend, yes, that would be so, so disrespectful. To expect you to be an adult and to accept that his children come before you is not. If you can't cope with your boyfriend having kids who will be there his whole life you need to walk away and let him find a grown up girlfriend who can.

There's pretty much only two scenarios 8 weeks after your DH walks out on you for his mistress:

1. You're so angry you can't bear to speak to him never mind holiday with him.

1. You desperately want him back and will shag him given the opportunity to let him know what he's missing.

Sigh.

Scenario 3. He hasn't been honest that he's with a new woman. He just needed space etc.

I just can’t help but feel it’s a little disrespectful going away with your ex whilst you have a new partner.

i just can't help but feel it's a little direspectful when you begin an affair (emotional or otherwise) with a man with children then complain about his innocent DP/DW online.

She sounds lovely, allowing him to still go on holiday with his children when he left the family home for his current girlfriend.

We were friends for a year before getting together so wasn’t just a fling or spur of moment thing. We’ve been together as in he left the relationship 2 months ago I’ve met the children and he’s living with me.

when was the holiday booked? im assuming within the last 14 months. So he cant have been very serious about leaving her if he was booking holidays with her.

Martinidry there's a difference between people falling out of love with each other and cheating. Falling out of love, fair enough, you can't help that. Cheating, you totally can. You're saying to the other person, not only do I not love you, but I don't respect you enough to tell you the truth about our relationship. And that is massively, massively damaging to your future coparenting relationship, and so to your kids. If you cheat on your partner you are cheating on your kids too. 100%.
OP, I don't think you can tell which way it will go, maybe he will get together with the wife, maybe not. If you aren't comfortable being in a relationship with someone who's going on holiday with someone else they may shag, you can choose this as your boundary. You're free to tell him your not happy and that if he goes you will leave him. Or to suck up the bad feelings. It's up to you. Is it a boundary for you? Do you want to take the chance you'll put your foot down and he'll go anyway? This will not be the only time something like this comes up.

Met kids already despite relationship being shorter than shelf life of sliced bread

The heart wants what the heart wants

Wife is sooo unreasonable and should just move on cos I won

I have cheese in my fridge older than your 'relationship'.

Yes he is being disrespectful, but what do you expect from a man who shows no respect to his partner. He's shown zero respect for the mother of his children, or indeed his children. Hardly going to give you more respect than he gives them is he now?

And he is probably going to spend the holiday pestering the ex to get back with him. Lets hope she has more sense and self-respect than you appear to.

Poor OP has probably just realised she won the booby prize.
I think the ow deserves to get rewards tbh, the morals musn't exist.

Maybe he is just putting the children first, my brother holidays with his ex - despite it being very awkward for the adults, the children love it. Regardless of how the relationship ended, maybe he is doing this for the right reasons. We don't know what happens behind closed doors so maybe we shouldn't be so judgmental, and the op can either trust him or not. Hopefully he is just being a good dad

Do you have children yourself op?

If he cheated with you - he will cheat on you!

Yeh, but a good Dad wouldn't introduce the ow after 2 weeks, they don't do that.
Good Dads don't shag around and break up a family.
No, he's doing this because his dick needs more action.

Partner? Disrespectful?

So funny

A lot of small minded responses on here I think. Life is not so black and white!

We’ve been together as in he left the relationship 2 months ago I’ve met the children and he’s living with me

I will lay money on the fact you will not be with him this time next year. Two months FFS!!!!

If you are doing his packing, don't forget the socks.