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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner going on holiday with ex and kids

111 replies

SimoneW86 · 08/07/2019 10:09

Hi, I have been in a relationship with my partner for 2 months. He left his ex to be with me. he has 2 children with his ex. They had previously booked a holiday whilst still together and he has just told me he still intends to go. I feel very uncomfortable with the idea of him going away with his ex. He says it’s just for the kids sake and only going as it was already planned before the split and won’t happen again etc. I just can’t help but feel it’s a little disrespectful going away with your ex whilst you have a new partner. I do trust him and trust nothing will happen as he left her for me so I trust he wants me, but I just feel disrespected. How do I get over this?

OP posts:
applepieicecream · 08/07/2019 10:53

I’m sorry but a boyfriend of 2 months is not a partner.

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/07/2019 10:53

She knows he intends to go away with them still.

Has she agreed he can still go?

SimoneW86 · 08/07/2019 10:54

Yes she has agreed he can go

OP posts:
Kashali · 08/07/2019 10:54

How can he respect someone who was so easy to get involved with someone who was already taken.
I'm sorry but to continue with this man you deserve everything you get.
Why be the ow are you not worth a bit more than this.

Kashali · 08/07/2019 10:56

I've rad you have met the children, you are either a wind up or really have no clue.
Good luck and we'll see you in a few months when you realise what a mug you have been, lol Grin

GlitchStitch · 08/07/2019 10:57

God his poor kids. Why would you have met them already. His poor kids seeing their Dad leave, their Mum heartbroken, meeting the new girlfriend and then Dad coming back for a holiday all in the space of 8 weeks. What a selfish shit father he sounds and you're not much better.

TheFormidableMrsC · 08/07/2019 10:58

Disrespectful? How dare you! Yes you can "help" who you fall in love with. You don't get involved with somebody else's husband. You're as bad as eachother. You have ruined a family and massively disrespected his wife and children and you have the bare faced temerity to feel wronged? Hmm

DearLady · 08/07/2019 10:58

You can help who you fall in love with. It’s a choice. This is yours.

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 08/07/2019 10:58

Why is he living with you after only 2 months? He should be living on his own - or must he have some woman or other washing his skiddies and cooking his meals.

readitandwept · 08/07/2019 10:59

The "little more context" changes none of what he's done.

And you've met his kids already? Then he's going away with them and their mum, weeks after leaving home?

Way to fuck up the kids!

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 08/07/2019 11:00

How old are you both?

Lola999 · 08/07/2019 11:01

Walk away OP
He's never going to be with you 100%
His "ex" will not be that for long I can hand on heart say.
This has what happens when you play with fire.
He's going to spend xmas with them too you know

Nanna50 · 08/07/2019 11:02

I expect it will be a lot easier for you to get over this than for his ex and kids to get over him having an affair with you and leaving. You don’t leave your family after being friends with someone so you had an affair.

You can’t help who you fall in love with, what a load of crap. What is there for you to get over? You feel disrespected, what the very fuck? Hmm

MissRhubarb · 08/07/2019 11:02

If this is how you start a relationship there's going to be a messy cross-over period and this is part of that. There'll be a LOT more to come. Years and years of it.

2 months is nothing. I would barely be calling someone a boyfriend after that time, irrespective of whether we were "friends" before that. 2 months is also almost no time for the ex to have begun to process what's happened with the break-up in their relationship. It must be an awful time for her and utterly confusing for the kids. I can't see how the holiday will be anything other than fraught. Would probably be best for everyone if he didn't go to be honest.

ShagMeRiggins · 08/07/2019 11:03

He left his ex to be with me.

I just can’t help but feel it’s a little disrespectful going away with your ex whilst you have a new partner.

Ha ha ha ha ha! Thanks, OP, best laugh of the morning. Grin

GlitchStitch · 08/07/2019 11:06

The only people he is disrespecting are his ex and kids. Instead of muscling in on their holiday he should back out and she could take a friend or family member in his place for company and support.

Kashali · 08/07/2019 11:08

Glitch

I doubt she's his ex tbh. Sounds like OP is a bit on the side.

RLEOM · 08/07/2019 11:08

Wow, what a prize of a man you've got there, OP. You must feel so privileged to be with a man who abandons his family for a woman he barely knows. And I feel so sorry for you having to deal with him going away with his real family - how disrespectful!

Give your head a shake. This man is a pig who will happily - and I mean happily - do the same to you.

peaceand · 08/07/2019 11:11

He didn't leave her for you, he left because you were a good excuse.
Either he's going away and she believes she can get him back ( or at least make you feel how she did) or
He's told her it's a got opportunity for them to try and work on there relationship.

He made her jealous and insecure and now he's doing it to you! What a catch.

Your not the OW you think you are, he's not putting you first at all and he's using the dc as a reason.

You know that are going to shag right?...

Happywhenfed · 08/07/2019 11:13

Similar experience to his potential ex, ow and my ex had been friends for 18months turned into something more and I kicked him out when I found out.

I would have personally lost the money on the holiday rather than go away together which makes me wonder if there is some feelings still there for one or both of them.

Great if parents can work together post split for the kids but so soon after I think this would be very confusing for any children just coming to terms with their DF moving out, meeting his new partner then back to normal family holiday.

Lola999 · 08/07/2019 11:15

**You know that are going to shag right?

100%

BIWI · 08/07/2019 11:16

Oh look! @SimoneW86 has no other posts on MN.

Perhaps that's because she is embarrassed about her ridiculously disrespectful affair?

toffeeapple123 · 08/07/2019 11:20

Yep they’ll def be sleeping together on holiday.

newgirl89 · 08/07/2019 11:23

Please do not stay with this man.
I have been you.
I wasted 6 years of my life on a relationship that sounds similar to yours.
It's not fair on you. Or the others involved. He can't have it all. X

Eliza9919 · 08/07/2019 11:23

I bet he gets her pregnant too.