Husband broke my glasses on purpose

[Sickofit1]

My husband has just intentionally broken my glasses, we had a huge row which escalated from nothing. I have pregnancy hormones and he just fuels it, then says he’s leaving us, then I started having a panic attack not because he said he is leaving because I couldn’t care less just because I can’t believe he would start this crap over nothing in the morning just before i’m about to drop the kids off. He never stops if he puts me in that state which just upsets me even more as I just feel I didn’t do anything to deserve this and can’t understand why i’m always in this position. Anyways then he intentionally broke my glasses and sunglasses so I can’t even drive, I couldn’t drop the kids he had to as a result.

I want him out but he doesn’t leave. I refuse to leave and disrupt the kids out of their home. I’m not willing to make a domestic scene as I don’t want that on my kids record. Is there any right I have just to remove him without making it sound really bad?

So youve made a big fuss about nothing and it's our fault for misinterpreting?

Ok then!

Glad it all worked out for you. Perhaps don't bother asking iyabu next time if it's all such a bloody storm in a teacup?

And it's not Twitter. You don't have to stick to 140 characters.

He didn’t break my glasses so that I couldn’t drive in a calculating way,

But your title said he broke your glasses on purpose. So either you're minimising or dramatising. Either way your attitude and the way you've posted makes me feel you're entirely disingenuous. So have a

He broke them on purpose
He didn’t drop them

But he wasn’t thinking about the consequences in that moment
He wasn’t trying to control me

He was being a immature idiot

I didn’t say am I being unreasonable this is in relationships
@howdyalikemenow

I didn’t over dramatise it
I’m just aware the best way for me is to try to forget about it
I genuinely right now don’t feel like I need to cry about it anymore
I was very upset
But I feel it was coming and now I feel relieved it’s come

If I’m being calm now it’s a good thing
I was pisses off in my first post as that is literally what happened
But I know the background and anytime I try to say no it’s okay I don’t need to do that or no it’s not like that I’m patronised for having cotton wool over my eyes
Not really much I can do
Now after your saying I dramatised it
I did keep saying it’s okay as I knew either way we agree we should separate like I said before

Whatevs hun.

My first post literally said why should me and be kids leave
He should

because every time we discussed it didn’t want to leave as it’s his home too he would say

But hey once I said we’re going he said no he will and now he’s left

That’s a good thing

K

I'm glad he's gone OP.

What you need to take away from this thread is that if you post asking for support, which is what you did, but then heavily imply that you are in some way superior to other women, then you will find you are met with anger at a time when you need sympathy and understanding. I've never needed WA but I know women who have. Incredible, strong, brave women - I admire every single one. And I know WA would be happy to help me if my DH deliberately and maliciously broke a significant thing that I needed in order to function properly, and sent me into a panic attack. That's what they're for. There isn't a measure of how abusive a partner has to be before you can access WA advice. There's not a scale they employ to determine if you're being abused enough. And it's not 'better' to not feel you're vulnerable or call other women 'weak'.

It's good that you've got your financial position sorted but, again, you don't need to use that as a way to put others beneath you to - presumably - make yourself feel better. The tone of your posts came across as though you think needing external help is embarrassing and awful, so by implication you're saying other women should be embarrassed about their own lives. Lots of women have had to live the reality of being in serious financial trouble as a result of an abuser, and that's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.

You might not want people's pity, I think few women do in your situation, but it's in no way admirable to put that ahead of everything else in this very sad scenario. You can't control whether people feel pity for you, because they just will. What you can control is whether you let it bother you.

He broke them on purpose
*
But he wasn’t thinking about the consequences in that moment
He wasn’t trying to control me*

Ok

zelda you're far kinder than me. Personally I think this whole thread has been quite inflammatory and I have my doubts as to the genuine nature of the op. But that's probably me being cynical.

Glasses and sunglasses?

Thanks @ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule
I appreciate what you’re saying and probably should change how I type. I did really associate women’s aid to a refugee O have heard really badly treated women escape too, probably need to research into it more. And I was merely trying to explain it’s not like that so I don’t want that kind of advice but fair enough

@SimplySteveRedux your comment is exactly what I mean about irritate patronising comments which make someone whos already feeling emotional even more emotional

Your priorities are all wrong.

What d you actually want? You can get him out legally but you have to tell someone. You can't get him out without help if he won't voluntarily go.

how it was kinder than my first draft on the off-chance it's real. But I fear it's just screaming into the void.

@howdyalikemenow
Do you know that when someone’s pregnant hormones can be crazy
One min you can be crying
One min ok
One min pissed as fun
One min like forget it

Yes thanks OP. I do. I still manage not to minimise others' experiences and come across as disingenuous and patronising.

Well most of the time. I fear this thread may change that. 🙄

Pregnancy is also a flashpoint in abusive relationships.

He has gone, well for now anyway. There is nothing currently to prevent him from returning.

It doesn’t matter what his intentions were. Someone who loses control of their anger to the extent that they no longer consider the consequences is a massive danger to those around him.

He might not have meant to break anything. So often in these cases that’s what they say in court, too, when faced with X-ray images or coroners reports.

Ha ha @howdyalikemenow I think you are patronising though.

If he comes back that’s fine, I will go and continue with my plan for me and the kids. I have multiple children with one on the way, I wouldn’t want to be bitter and he doesn’t either, rather make it work as coparents for the kids.

@Sickofit1 go figure?!!!!

If you don’t like the responses, don’t engage. You choose to engage which allows the back and fourth. Skim over it and reply to the posts you like. Simples.

For those jumping on the OP please don't. You have no idea the mental agility that goes on in the mind of a domestic abuse victim to try to renegotiate normal, it is a safety mechanism and it is a daily battle that has been fought years and will take a long time to undo.

Be kind. She is taking the first step here

I agree @IsThatYourOverbite Why don't people just try and help rather than argue? I don't think OP is dismissive of DV victims.

OP, I'm glad he's gone.

People have tried to help.