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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sponger with red flags?

166 replies

amylou1805 · 01/07/2019 21:07

We’ve been together for a few months now, he comes to mine because he still lives with his parents, I provide the food because I do a food shop (live alone) if we go to the shop for food for tea he’ll never offer to pay even though we’ve specifically gone to the shop for both of our teas, on numerous occasions if we’ve gone out anywhere he’ll have “forgotten his wallet” so I’ve had to pay. I don’t want him to buy me things, I’m independent, I enjoy paying for myself but am I being over the top thinking he should at least remember his wallet when we go out?! I feel like he’s either doing it on purpose or he genuinely forgets it (also he doesn’t actually have a job so there is that) I’ve never said anything because I don’t know how too but it’s starting to annoy me now!

The controlling thing stems from a few things that I think are red flags like me not being allowed on my phone in his company because it’ll start an argument (literally just checking my phone or replying to text I wouldn’t go on it for a long time anyway) me not being allowed to post pictures of myself on social media because he thinks men will speak to me, if he snaps at me for being too loud (like putting away plates in the kitchen) I’ll just brush it off but if I snap at him it’ll cause a massive argument which stems into him telling me I never listen to anything he says and if I try and fight my corner in the argument he says I’m interrupting him (even when it’s clear the sentence has finished) he goes on and repeats the same thing in ever argument I start to forget what he’s saying because it all merges into one.. is this me being a dick? Writing this out I sound so stupid but even things like if we do things differently he gets annoyed or if I recommend a way of doing something and it works he doesn’t like it or gets annoyed too, I just feel like maybe I’m not putting in enough effort or maybe I’m not listening enough like he says I just don’t know

OP posts:
Notthetoothfairy · 09/07/2019 21:17

His words are cheap (a bit like him, really) so he makes you feel good about yourself so you keep bankrolling him. Please LTB

TalkingAboutPride · 09/07/2019 21:18

Cocklodger alert!! run, run like the wind!!!

Moralitym1n1 · 09/07/2019 21:19

he made a joke about where he was going to cum in my mouth or on my feet

This guy thinks he's in a live porno or something.

He seems to think you're a blow up doll, on top of everything else.

Wow he really is such an all round user and abuser

SouthernComforts · 09/07/2019 21:21

This is one of those threads I hope isn't true. Letting him treat you like shit is one thing, letting him treat you like shit in front of your young daughter? Wtf? And you went back for more??

AMALDO · 09/07/2019 21:29

Bloody well done you! You and your daughter enjoy your best life without horrors like him anywhere near you. Life's too short. Hugs to you both Flowers

NotStayingIn · 09/07/2019 22:37

I really hope you see sense now and stay well clear.

I’m going to be really brutal here but I’m so annoyed I’m going to say it: when you decide to have children, you lose the right to just bring any dickhead into your life because you might ‘be lonely’.

Sorry, NO. It was your choice to have a child. With that comes the responsibility to protect them. You don’t engage with some piece of shit bloke after your own warning bells have been ringing and even strangers on the internet tell you to run a mile.

I’m sorry but what the fuck?!?!

So no, you don’t unblock him when you are lonely. Read this and stay strong. You are a million times better then this arsewipe.

Chocmallows · 09/07/2019 22:51

Imagine yourself in a month's time looking back on this and wondering why you were a doormat...3 month's time cringing that you associated with a tosser...6 month's time you are too focussed on you to give him the time if day. Block, block, block.

olderthanilookapparently · 09/07/2019 23:04

My first LTB honestly please think about spending time with someone who doesn't have a job but thinks they can tell you how to run your life

Run for the hills

Freewheelingto40 · 09/07/2019 23:44

Your poor daughter.. Putting ur loneliness in front of her safety..

Jaffacakesaremyfave · 09/07/2019 23:48

OP has already left the relationship and blocked him. RTFT

Maitairiki · 10/07/2019 00:00

Stay strong - what a horror he was

Miniloso · 10/07/2019 00:06

OP well done. Every single time you have a weak moment just picture your beautiful, innocent, precious daughter. You cannot have anyone so vile and abusive anywhere near you or her. If he has no respect for you, he’ll have even less for her. He sounds extremely dangerous. It will not end well for you or your daughter.

Stay strong!

PersonaNonGarter · 10/07/2019 16:54

Well done OP! Stay strong

orangesun35 · 10/07/2019 19:54

Hi read my post.mines a fucking idiot like yours .the red flags at the start were there .but l choose to ignore them cos he was good looking silly excuse l ‘am not 16 .... but like you l suffer from low self esteem..don’t feel stupid your not. ...if he was half decent like mine they would see your a good women. There loss. Do not let anyone take the piss .in the end l wiped the floor with mine ....no more than what he deserved

squishee · 10/07/2019 21:28

Why are you with him?

orangesun35 · 10/07/2019 21:53

No got rid .

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