Dinner Party hell

[dinnerpartyhell]

Please tell me what I am doing wrong.

It is customary where we live for friends to have lots of dinner parties, these range from silver service formal dinners all the way through to a relaxed buffet style supper.

I absolutely detest them, I hate hosting them with the two days of cleaning, cooking and preparing. The nerves that it will all go wrong (I am no Nigella) the endless inane conversations with people I barely know or care about. I try to talk to more interesting people, but after a few hours I have had enough even with the most sparkling character.

I don't even like going to other people's houses where it is the same in reverse. I like seeing my closer friends, but this all adds a layer stress/formality that is not normally present when we see each other day to day.

Please tell me why you enjoy them? (if you do) and what I can do to enjoy them more. I would have no friends if I opted out, as everyone has them. I wish I could enjoy them more, but I really don't. I dread them now, and it has got worse as time has gone on, not better. Everyone seems to go out every single weekend, and we are knackered from working long hours and caring for dc. How do you have energy to do this? After another weekend, I am exhausted today and really ready to throw in the towel and move to a desert island.

You need a new social circle as I agree, that sounds shite.

We did get caught up in a similar show off dinner party circle, it was hideous even when it was friends involved as it became so competitive & bitchy. I hosted one & then refused point blank to do it again & I'm a very confident cook.

The invites soon dry up if you stop reciprocating 😆 & you can move on to "normal" relaxed dinner parties with normal people, not bitchy wannabe Nigellas & Raymond's types

44 years old and hand towels “edged with lace from Provence”. You’ve had a good run OP, well done. Now, back in the real world...

Notcopingwellhere oh god i didnt see that bit.

...and are edged with lace from provence

Yeah, we're done here I think. A little more restraint next time...

In the nicest of ways OP, grow a backbone. Your DH hates them, you hate them, you hate hosting dinner parties. So why are you doing it? What do you get out of it?

not i am really sad that you think that. I did buy the towels on holiday, I can't replace them easily, and because of the lace I can't boil wash them. They are ruined. Its not the towels, it was just the final straw when I saw them.

I could NOT get a chef in, it would be considered cheating! Not sure I care very much, but as whole friends expect a good wholesome home made dinner.

My favorite part has been OhTheRoses not-so-stealth bragging
What with the cabinet ministers round the kitchen table and the new extension with the wine fridge.
And the fish kettle!
Loved it.

Haha, the stealth brags and bosoms

I've got a wine fridge too!!! No fish kettle and I've never been to Provence.

I've got a pantry and a boot room though!!! Yay

rockin and looby I am glad I am not alone!! If you are a confident cook and still felt exasperated then I feel better about it. I am a dreadful cook, and pretty much anything on the domestic front. It is this lack of confidence combined with the energy and inordinate time it all takes up that kills it for me.

I am hungry now though...I think I will plan a dinner party in my council house pied-a-tierre.
I do hope the people next door won't be fighting with their drug dealer in the street when the guests arrive.

Fish kettles aren't posh, they're just an oblong shaped pan/casserole dish for cooking a whole salmon.

You can borrow them from supermarkets and are brilliant when they do their side of salmon bargains.

Some creative writing - some nice touches though

crusty you need to take yourself to provence. For the linen water, lavender bath oils and fine wines if not for the towels (that are an art form in themselves) The french know how to do elegance it has to be said Can you bring me back some new hand towels?

Out of all of those I only have a cleavage crusty. You could park a bike in it though.

We've also got a pantry and a boot room and we live in an ex LA 2 bed semi, albeit with a kitchen extension (old kitchen became the boot room and the pantry is in there. It's just a cupboard under the stairs.

I am taking it as a compliment that you feel my life is creative writing, it really isn't that interesting, I sincerely wish it was marsha !

My pantry is in the kitchen. It is stone cold and hell could freeze over and the cheese would still survive in there.

@HepzibahGreen hey hold on - any self respecting cook owns a fish kettle - preferably one passed down from their mother (they don’t make them like they used to!)

OP you’re going a tad OTT now...and what’s with the saying you can’t get a chef in, when further back you said you’d take another poster with her own catering business up on her offer?

This thread is entertaining, and people are posting - but not perhaps for the reasons you might think. Perhaps consider taking some ideas on board???

I am a dreadful cook, and pretty much anything on the domestic front

But you consider Provençal “linen water” a must-have?!

All the original thread reminds me of is when I was at school in English lessons and had to write as if you were a character from a book. Are you one of Rupert’s wives from Jilly Coopers Riders series OP?

I thought the lace edging was a nice touch

Not sure about your life but the way you write makes it hard to know if you’re making it up - not sure! Maybe not

But if you are suffering through these evenings stop! Esp if all the husbands loathe it too

Preparing for guests takes me ages and costs a bomb, I only do it very sparingly going out much better.

Cease Especially if dynamic changes with the men there

Omg. I've just googled the towels. They are giving me the creeps

over I could take up the chef offer as long as she was gone by the time my friends arrived!! But yes I am making a note of the ideas, and have ordered my raclette, I had no idea there were so many or there was even such a thing!

Not I am good at lighting candles, spraying bed linen, and flower arranging. I am not good at cooking, sewing or anything requiring a skill sadly.

*No my dh is not called Rupert, but along similar lines yes.

Marsha I am being playful, and couldn't resist a joke or three. I haven't started a thread about anything serious, so seemed okay. I am definitely being truthful. I am worried about the length of the thread, and one of my friends actually reading this now.