Brave babes are still here: sping / summer / autumn / winter There is always someone around

[venusandmars]

This topic had being going for years and years and years. Maybe almost as long as some people have been struggling with drinking.

We are still here. Supporting, encouraging, helping. Never judging, never minimising our problems.

If you want to catch up, our last thread is HERE

And if you want to follow everything from the start, the very first thread from 9 years ago is RIGHT HERE

You can join in anytime. Everyone is welcome. Whether you are trying to cut down, abstain completely , or are simply acknowledging that you might have a problem... Post what you want.

Welcome Ska. I have found the thread helpful as I am tracking my progress and also sharing the things that I find challenging about giving up drinking. I do go to some AA meetings but I haven't spoken at any of then yet as I feel too new to say anything. Everyone has been very friendly at the meetings though. Are you planning to give up on your own, or do you feel like AA meetings might help?

Hi Ska. And welcome! Making the decision to cut down or quit is a big thing - even bigger to acknowledge alcohol is taking up too much head space. There’s always a babe or two around on here to keep you company.

Joining this thread although it appears to have gone a bit quieter of late. Long time lurker and name changed for this.

Have had unhealthy relationship with alcohol throughout adulthood, but it seems to have gone awry of late, possibly because of boredom and loneliness.

Drunk less when married and did lots of exercise in the first few years post break-up, but it has crept up over the last year or so, and is starting to take a toll on my health and happiness.

Anyway, on the tea tonight, but Monday easy night (almost always alcohol free Monday). It gets harder as week progresses. Needing to find things to keep busy and distracted.

Hi Snorkling and love the username! 😁

Thanks Craftycorvid

It was going to be snorkellinginpinot (that obviously being my drink of choice), but I didn't think it was appropriate for this thread and was worried about triggering other posters.

Hi snorkelling and welcome. Thanks for thinking of others, although this is not a strict abstinence thread (some are, some aren't) so you can be free to talk about whatever you need to, and call yourself whatever you like

I find the easiest way is not to have any alcohol in the house, and to go out of my way to avoid buying it. Of course that helps if you've got a supportive partner, and is almost impossible if your partner or friends encourage your drinking.

Alcohol in the house, as if
Any alcohol gets drunk immediately!

No partner but quite a wide circle of heavy drinking friends. I've had periods of abstinence in the past but find I rapidly go back to poorly controlled drinking once I stop abstinence.

Hi again everyone. I’ve not stopped drinking entirely but I’ve cut back massively. I’ve swapped large glasses of wine when out with my friends for either soft drinks or shandy. Last night I would have probably had 5 or 6 glasses of wine and got wrecked. Instead I had 3 shandies. It doesn’t really raise questions as it looks like I’m joining in, just not drinking as quick as others. I’m trying to get better control over my relationship with alcohol. Small steps really. I don’t know if I can give up entirely. Maybe if I stop bingeing the urge to get drunk might lessen. I don’t know. I’m trying anyway. You others are doing much better

It's not a comparison JK we're all on our own path, finding our own solutions, and it sounds like you're making some great progress.

Thanks venus, I am on a path, how true. It’s really interesting and inspiring to read how others are doing. Makes you feel less alone. I won’t compare, I’ll carry on with my small steps and feeling positive. Thank you for replying

JK whatever works for you is the right thing for you. I know that cutting down doesn't work for me as I just start binge drinking again at some stage, but it can work for others. Well done for not drinking too much when you were out with friends. It can be difficult to explain to people why you are not drinking, or are drinking less than usual. I have avoided some social situations if I feel that they will be too awkward but I have managed to go to others and really enjoyed myself.

I am taking one day at a time, but I am pleased to say that I have been completely AF for 18 days and I am feeling very well. The sugar cravings have stopped and my skin is looking brighter. It is lovely to not wake up with a hangover on Saturday and Sunday mornings too.

Welcome snorkeling :)

I'm with you JK in that I have cut back massively. Currently I'm clocking high teens to low twenties in terms of the number of units over a 7 day period. Still room for improvement, but I'm feeling good and not too deprived.

Last weekend I went out to the pub with a group of old friends (aka drinking buddies). I stuck to my plan of 2 bourbon and cokes and all was good...until I got home. I sat down to enjoy some wine with DH and...

The strange thing was, the next morning I had a full blown hangover (haven't had one of those for years). I guess my tolerance for alcohol has reduced, which is a good thing.

I think my post-event drinking was a way of switching off quickly, but I need to find a better way to do this. I think next time I will take some strong mints to have on the way home so the thought of wine does not appeal when I walk through the door. Any other suggestions would be welcome!

Welcome also to Ska :)

@Rightwayup Yep. Boxing day 2018 cold turkey for me and NYD for DH after he had spectacular drunken nasty night at a friend's party on whisky. I could easily do 1-2 bottles of wine a night plus assorted gins added in on the weekend and prosecco when available. He was 4-6 beers and gin/whisky. Fuck. Looking at that I can't believe we drank so much.
I had terrible insomnia at first and the sweats. I had appalling skin, headaches and sugar cravings. I had such a shit immune system then that I got a virus I couldn't shake for months.
Then I decided to give up sugar at the beginning of this year too. It's not been easy (understatement!)but it helped I live very rural so I couldn't get out to a shop when the wine cravings started.
I still get terrible cravings for a cold bottle especially at stressful times. Alcohol is definitely used as a crutch in society.

Well done on day 18 Lilyrose

Mint yes, looking backwards at what used to be your ‘normal’ is scary, isn’t it? I do that sometimes and wonder how I functioned - and yet somehow I did. I haven’t really tackled the fact my diet is far from ideal though. In the first few months I prioritised not drinking. Now I’m wondering where ‘healthy me’ went. Paradoxically, for someone who drank a lot, my diet was quite healthy otherwise (and, yes, I used to console myself with that thought when drinking).

Looking back is scary, for sure. I was a bottle of wine a night drinker, or around 60 units per week by my estimation.
I may have found an answer to my own question. I'm adding a new rule to my list and that is no drinking after 11pm. That should address the 'post event binge' risk. It should also help to solve another issue I've been having which is to have a BAC reading in the morning when I wake up. I have a cheap battery operated breathalyser which I have found very useful. Sometimes in the morning I still have a BAC reading (never over the legal limit but sometimes close to it) and I feel enormously guilty when I get in the car to drive as I normally don't touch a drop when driving. No drinking after 11pm should hopefully help to resolve this issue.

Third sober night. Feeling fine for the moment, but the weekend will be more challenging. Thursday night was always 'rewarded' with a nice chilled white...

I can confirm that mint is seriously fucking amazing. I am still as much of a drunk as when I first boarded this bus, all those years ago.

I’m 3rd alcohol free night this week too. I’m out tomorrow but it will be shandies. Friday night I volunteered to babysit so another alcohol free night. A hangover free Saturday will be lovely

Day 19 AF for me, and I am still feeling good. I went out last night on a date (from Plenty of Fish) and just had soda water and lime. I told the guy that I had stopped drinking as I felt I had a tendency to overdo it from time-to-time and he was fine with that. I'm not sure we will end up in a relationship but I think he might become a friend.

I went to an AA meeting yesterday lunchtime as I am off work this week and will go to another one tonight. It is helpful to talk to others who have given up drinking and it also keeps me on the right path.

Well done Mint for being AF for so long! I can't cut down, it has to be all or nothing for me, but that is because of the type of drinker that I am. Once I have one drink I have no off switch and I will carry on until I am totally wasted.

I think I am more like you LilyRose, in that once I start I can't easily stop, so it just seems less bother not to start in the first place.

Fourth night sober, all fine although a little dull. TV and tea not as much fun as being down the pub!

Ah but the morning afters are delightful - that fresh air smell, that sense of a healthy sleep, the knowledge that there are no regrets... It is all good.

The complete absence of ‘The Fear’ - biggest single reason to stay sober in my case!

What is The Fear crafty?

Oh!!!!.... do you mean waking up fearing what the hell happened? I remember that very well! God what an awful heart sinking feeling