Brave babes are still here: sping / summer / autumn / winter There is always someone around

[venusandmars]

This topic had being going for years and years and years. Maybe almost as long as some people have been struggling with drinking.

We are still here. Supporting, encouraging, helping. Never judging, never minimising our problems.

If you want to catch up, our last thread is HERE

And if you want to follow everything from the start, the very first thread from 9 years ago is RIGHT HERE

You can join in anytime. Everyone is welcome. Whether you are trying to cut down, abstain completely , or are simply acknowledging that you might have a problem... Post what you want.

[aliasname]

@dementedma

Checking in - glancing back I see a few familiar faces. spanna reading the Opal Fruit stash triggered the alarm so I popped back to see what was going on.
Sorry haven’t been around to serenade you all with my triangle. I know how much you enjoy it. My father died two weeks ago so things have been difficult. funeral on Jan 4th, courtesy of Covid!!
Will be doing Dry Jan again - anyone else. Hi to the Newbies!

ma so sorry to hear about your dad Its been a tough year for us all. I hope next year will be better

[Therainisback]

Sorry to hear about your Dad Ma.
I'm aiming to do Dry January ( yes please Beaches to the offer of support☺)

[MintToBee]

Oh hell @dementedma
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. Big hugs from the V's 💐

[venusandmars]

ma good to see you, and hope that things are not too traumatic or difficult with the funeral, and all that goes alongside it.

Dry January is probably the best thing to look forward to...

[beachestoexplore]

Was that the tinkle of a triangle I just heard? I am really sorry about the death of your father Ma but it is great to see you back.

[SmallFox]

I’m so sorry to hear about your father, Ma. Sending love.

[dementedma]

Thanks guys. Without sounding too heartless, it was for the best. He was in care, advanced dementia etc. There will only be a handful at funeral because most of my siblings cant or wont travel due to Covid. It's going to be grim. Good to see you all again.

[venusandmars]

ma whatever the circumstances, it doesn't necessarily make it easier. Grief for the person who he was / might have been, sadness for the loss of your childhood dreams, recognition of the temporary nature of life. They can all hit us hard. for you.

[spanna41]

Happy New Year Everyone
Sorry I went a bit awol there.....
Day 1 2021 let’s hope it’s better than the shit storm we’ve all been experiencing!
So lovely to see some old faces!
ma I’m sorry for you & your sad news We’ve all missed your rendition on your triangle. Hoping to see more of you me dear. I’ve stacked up our green opal fruit stash - yes I’m afraid you’re gonna have to share 😂

beaches thank you for the flowers & apologies for my delayed return. How are you? Are you ready for this Dry Run? Hopefully you’ve stacked up on loveliness to eat & drink. Fuck the waistline let’s just get this daily drinking under control. Hold tight I’m sure it must be my turn to drive the bus!!!!! Sending virtual hugs across to you - is it snowy?

margie massive achievement- congratulations you are amazing- I remember our struggles well. Who’d have thought we’d have got this far. Just proves that anything is possible when you put your mind to it x

smallfox great to see you darling x

venus wise words as always - thank you for always being here

alias Hello!

mint great to see you!

It’s been a tough year to say the least. My work has completely dried up now - I would usually be providing freelance activities in care settings mainly with clients who live with Dementia & clients at the end of their lives. Unfortunately I’m not classified as an essential visitor
So after much uming & arring I’ve decided to reinvent myself as a Sober Coach. I’ve started a blog (I know, get me being all techie!!!) //yoursobercoach.blogspot.com & my Facebook page //www.facebook.com/yoursobercoach it’s all a bit new & scary. Taken me out of my comfort zone but ‘why not’ I thought I’ve got to do something with my time & sobriety is a subject I know much about!!!
I’d be grateful for your support & feedback

Onward have a good day everyone xxx

[venusandmars]

Wow @spanna41 That is incredible! Well done you. I really loved your quote "the goal isn't to be sober, the goal is to love yourself so much that you don't need to drink"

What a great concept for 2021. Here's hoping we all end the year loving ourselves a little bit more.

[tinyem77]

Hi Ladies, what a supportive group. I'm on day 3 and on my fourth attempt at this. However my alcohol consumption over the past 6 months had escalated well beyond my previous drinking. I'm in danger of killing myself. I would love to join this group

[Craftycorvid]

Big ‘hello and a much better 2021 to you all’. Ma I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my mum in May. We had to have a very small funeral and hold it outdoors which was actually a very gentle and intimate way to do it. I hope you get the goodbye you need with your dad.

Spanna I love the sound of your blog!

And Venus it’s good to read your wise words.

Wishing you all safe and well, and evolving the relationships you want to have this year.

[venusandmars]

welcome tinyem

It doesn't matter how many attempts you've had, what matters is that you are doing it again. What's your plan for today? have you got lots of nice alcohol free alternatives and things to do to keep yourself busy and distracted? Posting on here, or reading some of the previous threads is always good.

[tinyem77]

@venusandmars Hi, I'm planning on a very slow run with the dog, and trying to coax the teen-ager out of his pit to come with me. I find the first month the easiest, I'm all focused and floating in a cloud of determination, it's when I've been sober for over a month or so and I start to down playing the booze that I struggle (and there really is no down playing 2 bottles of wine a day) My husband is really supportive and has said no alcohol in the house, but I don't think he gets how the addiction works, god love him

[spanna41]

Hi Tiny welcome to the Bus!
Just stick with us. We’ve all been there on some level or another. Don’t be disheartened- it’s a brave move to make your first post here. We’ve got your back & more than anything there’s no judgement here I’ve cleared you a space on the back seat with me (tis where the rebels go) here have an opal fruit - just don’t take a green one!!! I’m not good at sharing the green ones!!!! Keep posting it really helps & it’s a great distraction x

Venus thank you 😊 fingers crossed I can make this venture a success - I’m really enjoying the blog journey so far it’s quite cathartic writing stuff down & having it out in the open so to speak

crafty thank you I welcome your support let me know what you think. Yes here’s to a much better year x

[tinyem77]

@spanna41 I was definitely meant for the back seat, green opal fruits are my favourite too, but in the spirit of making a good impression, I'll take an orange one 😁

[Therainisback]

Happy New Year Babes/Lads!
Day 1 for me, though I've done 2 dry days this week already ( which is an achievement in itself lately).
Spanna I shall look at your blog, sounds like a brilliant idea.

[SmallFox]

Happy new year, everyone.

Was weird not drinking on NYE - has left me with a lot of time on my hands today, as New Year’s Day is usually occupied by dry jan mantras queasily confronting the old year’s hangover, coupled with a sense of ‘oh god, can I really do this?’ dread. Anyway, a bracing walk with the family and am now settled by the fire, trying hard to remember to live in the moment. Being ‘present’ (rather than permanently half-pissed) is disconcerting sometimes.

I do find non alcoholic alternatives useful as far as ritual drinking times are concerned. Seedlip is offensively expensive - I’m quite liking the Warner’s 0% options (from Ocado) with tonic. Any other suggestions? I’d love to expand my repertoire.

Be nice and kind to yourselves, Babes - it’s a bit bleak out there, in all senses, at the moment. I’m trying to remember to take time out for myself in amongst looking after work and kids. It doesn’t come easily but at least without equating self-care with ‘treating’ myself to a drink, there’s a chance something good may emerge.

Anyway - Spanna - amazing. You are perfect for this, wise, kind, inspiring and empathetic. I wish you every happiness and fulfilment in your new venture.

See you soon, Babes.

[beachestoexplore]

Happy New Year all!

Good to see you back Spanna and congratulations on the shift to this new supportive blogger role! You will shine and potentially help many. I will give it more of a read over the next few days

I am committed to not drinking today.

[Margie32]

Waving poms-poms frantically at beaches, tinyem, therain and everyone else who is staring down the barrel of Dry January. It’s a cliché but one day at a time...you can do this and when you feel like you can’t, come on here and post.

ma, I’m so sorry about your Dad. I hope the funeral is a comfort and that you’re getting lots of support from those around you.

venus, I hear you on the boredom, in my case it’s leading to lots of bad overthinking. And it’s January and it’s freezing and dark so early, it’s hard to stay motivated. Don’t have a solution right now, but just wanted to empathize.

spanna, huge congratulations on your new venture! I watched your Facebook live and thought it was brilliant - you didn’t throw too much information at people, which might have been overwhelming, but you gave such good, clear advice for the first day of January. Having you there as a constant presence during this month will be so important for so many people who want to get and stay sober - as smallfox says, you are the perfect guide for this, you are wise and kind and empathetic.

I hope that 2021 is a better year for all the Babes on this trusty bus.

[beachestoexplore]

You look good with pom-poms Magie! Thanks for the encouragement.

I can’t lie, it was a white knuckle evening and I was in bed by 9.30. I have always found the first few days tough but I am determined. I have chocolate, wine gums and a new book. ODAAT

It is snowy in Nova Scotia today.

[Therainisback]

Day 2 here. Yesterday was fine. Today I'm feeling a little twitchy. Going to start reading Jason Vale & have a 0% beer.

[SmallFox]

How are you feeling this morning therain? I think twitchy is very much to be expected on day 2, good on you for having strategies in place.

What AF beer do you like? I always end up coming back to Becks Blue. I had some at 10am the other day, much to my husband’s bewilderment, I slightly forget the etiquette of when I’m ‘supposed’ to drink it. Mind you, I am (was?) perfectly capable of having wine at 10am too.

[tinyem77]

@SmallFox Wine in a mug?? Day 5 here, had a few Mardy moments last night, but remembered what I'd read in the Naked Mind, and readjusted my mind set. Danger day today, husband is off to work and I'll be home alone with the kids, wish me luck

[Therainisback]

Feel good but tired, thanks Small. Took ages to get to sleep then all my dreams were about me smoking (I stopped nearly 4 years ago)
We've got Bavaria (Morrisons) but I prefer Becks Blue. It's weird how it helps, given that I never touch beer with alcohol in .
How are you getting on?