Brave babes are still here: sping / summer / autumn / winter There is always someone around

[venusandmars]

This topic had being going for years and years and years. Maybe almost as long as some people have been struggling with drinking.

We are still here. Supporting, encouraging, helping. Never judging, never minimising our problems.

If you want to catch up, our last thread is HERE

And if you want to follow everything from the start, the very first thread from 9 years ago is RIGHT HERE

You can join in anytime. Everyone is welcome. Whether you are trying to cut down, abstain completely , or are simply acknowledging that you might have a problem... Post what you want.

Thanks for the recipe and drink ideas venus.

So my tapering was taking a wrong turn and I decided to stop altogether for a few days. Haven't had a drink for the last 4 days so my 7 day average is down to an all-time low of 10 units.

I've been keeping super busy and going to bed early to avoid temptation, but to be honest it hasn't really been that hard. In fact I am feeling much better and more in control of my life generally. No serious withdrawal symptoms except I was fighting a migraine for about 2 days.

champagne not sure if you have tried it already, but I have found using a drinking app (I use Drink Control) has been really effective. I didn't think it would be much use, as I have always been way over the recommended limit, but it has helped me understand my drinking patterns and makes me feel more accountable. Just an idea...

How are we all doing this Sunday evening?

Hi crafty and all,

I’m sitting here with a glass of wine, but telling myself that I’m off the booze for at least the next 4 days. I’m sick of drinking, sick of feeling like shit in the morning. Why can’t I just kick it into touch?

I’m here-had a gin and tonic but it’s a damn lot better than the bottle of wine I’d usually have sunk by now so I’m counting it as a win for now. Hope everyone is winning too

It's a clutching, grasping, clinging habit, and it's difficult to shake off slingsanderrors. What are your tactics to defeat it? My best ones are:

• have no alcohol in the house
• don't 'pop into the shops' for a pint of milk we all know where that can lead, plan, plan, plan all your shopping when you're feeling sober and strong
• have alternative drinks in the house, and a list of what you can have, so there are no excuses: herbal tea / fruit tea (at this time of year it's nice cooled in the fridge with soda water or tonic), iced coffee, a plain ordinary cup of tea in a nice china cup with a delicate biscuit on the side, a fruit smoothie with ice, chai latte, Roses lime juice and tonic, or freshly squeezed lime juice with soda water.
• keep yourself busy, do chores in the evening where you have to drive, or arrange an appointment with a double glazing salesperson, do the ironing, learn to play the piano....

marlu you did great last week . What's the plan for this week?

Hi all. Just checking in as am in the sidecar as usual.

I'm in bed sober. Been fairly well behaved this weekend. Had a drink saturday night but not very much. I think I have a virus of some sort. It's been about a week now of mild sneezing but with a really irritating tickley throat and cough. I wish it'd go away.

Nice to see so many posts! I come and look to see if anyone has posted but then don't post myself! I've been cross stitching a never ending christmas design that I actually started last December. I'm hoping it might be finished by this christmas! if I drank less it would be!

Hello to Slingsanderrors and demented, great to see you back on the thread, and thanks for the opal fruits Slings.

venus I love your description about it being a "clutching, grasping, clinging" habit. So true! Thanks for all your helpful suggestions too.

Well I fell off the wagon a bit last night but had a really enjoyable night just the same. I cracked open a special bottle of red wine, had a glass with my roast dinner then enjoyed the rest of the bottle over several hours sitting and talking with DH. I'll be back on the wagon tonight and hopefully most of this week. The plan this week venus is to try and keep total units to under 20 on a 7 day rolling average. If I can achieve that on a consistent basis (i.e the "new normal") then I can hopefully start reducing again from there. I have stocked up on AF beer and the one type of AF wine that tastes semi ok. I've also stocked up on ginger and have planted some mint. I'm on the lookout for some special looking containers for my iced tea. T2 seems to have some nice ones, with matching special tea glasses (I love my tea served in glass!)

Have a good week everyone!

Hi ,I'm gonna join this bus. On holiday with my family and realised how much my drinking has become out of control . I still function but so many night I manage to down a bottle of wine then a couple of gins and make it through the next day start all over again . Maybe two nights I don't drink so that meant I was alright 🙄. None of my clothes fit me as I binge eat when drinking and am sick of the shame and self disgust .

Two nights ago I read the very first thread of this post and it was lightbulb for me. I'm on day 2 , feeling good but I know it's gonna be harder when home and back to normality.

Welcome spanglypants. :)

Hey. Those of you who have been around a while will remember my DD1 who has mental health problems. She has been studying for her BSc via OU (she can’t cope with crowds etc so preferred to study that way, mostly during the night as she has chronic insomnia)
Today she graduated with a 2:1. A First for her research project and final year, but an overall 2:1. I can’t tell you all how proud I am. She won’t go to the graduation ceremony sadly, but we will have a party here.

Well done to dementedDD1! What an achievement for her.

Oh wow @dementedma. How bloody wonderful . What fantastic news

spanglypants welcome! You're in for a long read if you follow all threads from the beginning - I don't even know if they are all linked up properly. "I still function" you said. I had a wry smile, I used to think I was a functional alcoholic, whereas in fact I was a barely functioning alcoholic. I'd got so used to a permanent level of semi-depression that I hadn't even noticed how dis-functional I'd become. Hope you're noticing the difference and that it boosts you to continue the adventure.

ma amazing achievement against all the odds. She got the determination, tenacity and intelligence of her mother.

If she's also got her mother's sense of humour and purple hair there is no stopping her!

Hi spanglypants.

Well done indeed to your daughter, ma.

Congratulations ma! A wonderful achievement :)

"I'd got so used to a permanent level of semi-depression that I hadn't even noticed how dysfunctional I'd become". So true venus!

I've identified a "new" emotion which I am experiencing before choosing to have a drink: anger. I feel angry that I need to (want to?) give away one of my last true pleasures in life: a drink or two or three or more at the end of the day. It's made me think- how has it come to be that drinking is one of the last few pleasures in my life? What happened to all the other things that brought me joy? How did things get so out of balance?

I've identified some of the many things that brought me joy and self esteem (physical, creative and career pursuits) but I don't seem to have the time any more to enjoy them. It's like that allocated time has been slowly eroded, frittered away. There is always something else that needs to be done, someone with a need that has to be met (especially teenage DD who has borderline mental health issues and is doing her equivalent of A levels).

I think I need to work on bringing more structure to my life, to establish clear boundaries that allow me the time and space to do what I need to do to make me a healthier and happier person. Hopefully then I won't feel so angry and resentful about saying goodbye to the booze.

Oh Marlu I recognise the anger at feeling you are giving up a pleasure in life, and realising other deeper pleasures have been sidelined. I thought life without alcohol would be grey and grim but actually I’ve more energy to do the things I enjoy. I won’t say I never miss drinking (big glass of something cold in this weather....sigh!) but it really does feel a small price to pay now.

Thanks for your understanding crafty. Sorry to have thrown my toys out of the pram the other day. I'm feeling better again today after an early night. Yesterday I went to a "freestyle dance" class- it's dancing for exercise but you can basically cut loose and dance how you like. It's fun, a bit like dancing was in my teens and early twenties. I'd like to try Nolights Nolycra as well, but it is in the evenings and quite far from where I live. Hope everyone in the UK is surviving the heatwave :)

Thanks all. Hi to marlu. Nothing much to report but still around. Still drinking. Still soldier ogling...

Throw those toys, Marlu. It can be bloody frustrating at times, especially when we see other people moderating apparently effortlessly. DH is a good chap but it sometimes gives me the rage watching him do his ‘just one will do for me’ thing before putting the cork back in a half full bottle

Happy Sunday everyone :)

I'm off to a family lunch. I always find in-law get togethers very stressful, so I'll be driving to stay dry and in control.

Good plan marlu Hope everyone survived the heat... tbh alcohol is NOT what I want in weather like that. Cold sparking water with ice, much better.