Brave babes are still here: sping / summer / autumn / winter There is always someone around

[venusandmars]

This topic had being going for years and years and years. Maybe almost as long as some people have been struggling with drinking.

We are still here. Supporting, encouraging, helping. Never judging, never minimising our problems.

If you want to catch up, our last thread is HERE

And if you want to follow everything from the start, the very first thread from 9 years ago is RIGHT HERE

You can join in anytime. Everyone is welcome. Whether you are trying to cut down, abstain completely , or are simply acknowledging that you might have a problem... Post what you want.

Hi all, I’ve hit rock bottom having binged on gin for a week. I’m so ashamed of myself (I’d not had a drink for three weeks before). I have no stopping point. Today is day one....again. I know I can abstain, I just can’t drink in a controlled way.

I am so ashamed to admit that I’ve been drinking in the mornings.

Today I’ve not been able to keep anything down.

My family have all had concerns that I’m an alcoholic, I don’t want to admit to them that they’re right. I hardly see them as they live hours away. Those that have told family how did it go?

I’ve currently got major sweats, but am cold.

It’s so bloody difficult, booze is seen as acceptable and is so readily available.
My first time being drunk was aged 11, I’ve got 28 years of mindset to change.

My boyfriend asks me why I drink, I’m not a happy drunk and just sit and stare into space. I can’t even answer, boredom? Trying to switch off?

It’s a vicious cycle, I’m sure others here will recognise, of beating myself up, drinking to make me feel better and low and behold it doesn’t work!!

I’m fed up, hopefully as the days go by I’ll find my sense of humour again and be able support people on the same journey.
There’s only one way from rock bottom, right?!

Hey chit, your post is raw and brave and also mentions many thoughts I relate to. I can abstain too when I put my mind to it, but moderation is far more difficult. It doesn’t stop me trying, unfortunately.

One day at a time mantra

Morning to All you lovely Brave Babes Old & New

I’m an Oldie! Still Sober - 5 year & 8 months Who’d have thought it eh?

I’m back! I’m here to help!
Let’s keep this there Bus (Gerald) on page 1 especially as Babes will need us as we’re fast approaching Dry January

Chit it sounds like you’re coming out the other side of a shit storm. Thank you for your honest & raw post! I was exactly the same as you ‘all or nothing’ Binge Drinking & me were Best Mates. One of the mantras that really really helped me on my sober journey was ‘watch the film until the end’ in my case my film never ever ended well Ever!!!
What do you want to do? Are you trying to abstain completely or is moderation the way you wanna go? I’m here I’m not going anywhere let me help you!

Happy Birthday Mint I hope you had a wonderful day x

Louise 3 years is AMAZING such a HUGE ACHIEVEMENT 🏆 Congratulations!!! Please stick around let’s help the Brave Babes get through to the end of January

Beaches my darling I’ve missed you. I read your post & my heart sank for you. YOU Babe have bought me back! Watch out! I’m here for you. Let’s get you back on track. We’ve got 5 days is it? Until Christmas 🎄 can you cut your drinking down from a bottle, put that cork in after 3 glasses (or do you have goldfish bowl glasses!!!!) Go mad on Christmas Day & then let’s reign it in ready for New Years Day. You’ve got this Beaches xxx

I’m on my mobile & it's so fiddly. The mumsnet landscape has change, so many ads popping up!!!

Who’s with me for a Sober Saturday?

SPANNA!!! my heart is so happy to see you!! 5 years and 8 months?!! That is so fantastic, YOU are so fantastic . Is it really that long ago that we were first on the bus together? And here I am on the same old hamster wheel. I appreciate the cheering on, I am stuck in a rut at the moment and really can’t find the motivation to change anything. Thank goodness for dry January.....it gives me an achievable goal to aim for.

I really am beaming to know how well you are doing. You have made my day Xx

Hello again! I've been around lurking this year, but I name changed for a different topic I've been on and have only just returned to my usual.

Lovely to see familiar names - hope you had a good birthday mint I've got a bottle of Nosecco for next week when dp and I do early Christmas with his very frail and very elderly parents (part of our caring duties - and leaves other family to arrange Christmas as they decide). Christmas eve we will be away in our camper van - only about 5 miles from home - and Christmas day will be a walk with turkey sandwiches. I'll be driving so no booze - which all seems so much better than a day spent in an alcoholic fug.

ma usually decorates the bus and often gives us a quick rendition on her salvation army triangle but I think she's had a recent bereavement so she may be having a quieter time...

So a sober Saturday for me and nice to reconnect with you lot... See you again soon.

Morning Babes!

So good to see some familiar faces on the bus, and some new people to say hello to.

Yes chit, there is only one direction to go in once you’ve hit rock bottom. Lots of us here have been exactly where you are now, and it seemed impossible to climb out of the pit...but we did it and you can too. Booze is not your friend, it’s not bringing you any comfort, it’s making you feel terrible about yourself. Trust in the wise babes on this bus, and any other resources you can find. Not everyone likes AA but I found it really helpful
at the start.

beaches, so good to see you. Sending hugs and good vibes across the Atlantic to you. You can do Dry January, I know you can, good that you’ve got something to aim for.

mint, happy belated to you. Hope you had a good one. venus, always a pleasure to read your wise words on here. ma, if you’re reading the thread, sorry to hear you’ve had a tough time recently.

And spanna, so brilliant to see you and read about your amazing achievement! You remain a total inspiration!

I am 3 and a half years sober. Life after booze is not always easy, especially in times of Covid, but I am grateful to be sober. Let’s stay sober today babes and take it one day at a time. You’ve got this.

Solstice blessings to you all! ☀️ 2.5 years since I stopped drinking. The greater the distance, the greater the perspective. It’s a continuum not an either/or when it comes to a problematic relationship with alcohol. Like many people, I wasn’t exactly cracking open the chablis with my cornflakes, nor was I bedding down on a park bench. I was a perfectly functional person holding down a responsible job and generally doing ok. Except I couldn’t have continued to drink as much as I was without an inevitable eventual impact on my health. What I was less aware of was the immediate impact on my mental health and energy levels. I’m a bit less scared of being tempted to drink again, but a lot more aware that, for whatever reason, I’m wired to be like human velcro for addictive things - so ‘just one’ would never be just one. For those who can moderate, enjoy a single malt for me, please! I’m delighted to have discovered Seedlip.

Somebody asked me yesterday how I came to be on MN and I explained about the brave babes. Wishing you all love and light at the end of this horrendous year.

and [seedlip] for crafty well done on your 3 years (OK I know there isn't a seedlip thingy, but you know what I mean.

It's interesting how we continue to think that we are 'functional' while drinking. Then when you stop and your mood, energy and mental health step back up you realise how far below par you were subsisting.

Hello you lovely lot.

Crafty realizing that you couldn’t continue drinking as you were without an inevitable impact on your health has struck a chord with me. Thanks, I needed to hear that today. Also, congratulations on your 2.5 years!

Venus your Christmas in a camper sounds charming

Margie you are awesome 3 and a half years sober is incredible. Another inspirational babe.

chit. How are you doing?

Spanna here, have a bunch of

Solstice blessings, you lovely lot! Hope the return of the sun brings us all a bit of light and much-needed joy.

I heard the noise made by ma and her triangle, and thought I'd stop by and say I hope you're all having as best the Christmas you can under the circumstances.

We're in tier 6 (where Boris circles overhead in a helicopter with a sniper, ready to take you down if you dare to put the bins out early)

Well, at least there will be less pressure to party and drink, eh? Peace and goodwill Babes xxx

Just thought I would join in as it has been ages since I posted on this thread. I have been sober since 27 July 2019 thanks to AA and a number of other resources - mostly Facebook groups. I am not at all religious but stuck with AA meetings and found a sponsor who had similar views to me. I was a classic binge drinker but had held down a good job and never drunk drove or got into major trouble whilst I was drinking. A few tumbles and grazes and a broken foot after a fall down a flight of stairs in a pub were my worst accidents. But I couldn't stop drinking to blackout after I had picked up the first drink. And I had escalated to sitting at home alone drinking wine in the evenings.

My life is so much better now. I sleep through the night and no longer wake up at 3am sweating and worrying about what I said and did the night before, or lose whole days at the weekend to hangovers. I am much calmer and happier and have a great support network in the AA fellowship. And I haven't had a 'spiritual awakening' or religious conversion. I am now in a loving relationship with a man I met in AA who is an absolute darling. He has been sober for longer than me and it is so different to my previous relationships which were nearly all abusive in one way or another (as in, I was being abused).

I never thought that I would be able to live a happy and fulfilled life without alcohol, but I am able to socialise, eat out and also go out with friends who are drinking and still enjoy myself. It is a daily programme, so I am not going to take anything for granted, but if anyone wants to ask me anything about AA or my recovery, please do. I'm happy to respond to PMs if you would prefer.

Hope you all have a lovely Christmas, or as lovely as we can in these mad Covid times!.

Hello all, just checking in.

alias good to see you babe

Lilyrose what an uplifting post. Lots of admiration for you in your journey and finding a new healthy relationship to boot! Your offer of support is really kind, I am sure there are many people afraid of AA, myself included. Great to know you are happy to answer questions.

Keep on trucking babes xx

Belated Christmas greetings.
Thats me, 3 years and 1 day sober thanks to all you amazing people on these threads.
Without your encouragement and wit and friendship I wouldn't have made it this far.

What an achievement mint You are a triumph of steely determination over chaos, heartbreak, celebration... all those moments when so many others would turn to drink. I raise my glass of Nosecco to you x

Hope others have managed to navigate the season's stresses as well as they can. Tomorrow is another day and we can all start anew...

PS No need to wait for 1st January, start now!

Bloody well done, you, Mint! ☕️

Huge congrats Mint!

Happy sober day Mint, what an achievment x

Hi all and thanks for the welcome.
It’s been a bad five days...no kids in the house and a bottle of gin a day.

I’d been doing really well, then...I wasn’t! (Dog died, major fallout with boyfriend, lots of teenage stuff - any excuse)...And back to the cycle.

So day one again...I’m boring myself with it now.

I’ve decided to try not to count the days as for me it almost seems like a target...ooh, day seven, haven’t I been good, I’ll grab to bottles of vino.

I told my dad and step-mum that I was stopping...and then spoke to them whilst I was blazing...so then they got concerned which is obviously a horrid feeling.

I’ve had an enormously stressful adult hood and booze has been a major player in that.

So here’s to day one again....feel so shit that I don’t even want a drink!

Glad to hear other people’s success stories and to those that are struggling...we can do this.

Hello everyone. Some amazing stories and lovely to see some familiar faces. Inspirational all round.

It’s been an age since I posted. The usual excuses, but recently some green shoots of hope. My first Christmas without alcohol for about 30 years and gosh, it felt good. Being wholly present for the kids and for myself was an astonishing feeling. It’s only been 3 months but it feels tentatively like it might possibly just stick this time. And there have been a couple of mini wobbles during that time but for the first time ever instead of hitting the f-it button at that point, I managed to remember that tomorrow was a new day and moved on.

So it’s lovely to come back and see such wise and generous people here, inspiring me to keep going. Thank you all, for caring, and to all those struggling, as I still am, let’s keep going one day at a time - yesterday is irrelevant, it is today which matters.

Hi Babes,
Had a name change (was Anne). It's so good to see some familiar names. Well done Mint I so wish I could be saying that in 3 years time.
December has been something of a write off drink-wise (as usual). Why do I drink more when I need a clear head to get everything done?
I have downloaded 4 sober books on my kindle. I am planning to do dry January, but a also hoping to not drink tonight, tomorrow & Wednesday evening.
Back on the merry-go-round

Firstly, incredible achievement Mint

chit you may not have won the battle yet but you continue to try. That is the best tool in your toolkit.

small! great to see you post. Congratulations on your first sober Christmas - probably the best gift you could give to yourself and your family. 3 months is brilliant and even better is the feeling that this time it may stick. You are so right, yesterday is irrelevant, it is today that matters.

Hi Anne / thera maybe we can cheer each other on during dry Jan, this merry go round is getting shabby - I am ready for a new ride

Hello all. Mind if I hop on the bus? Ive been a lurker for years and I think im finally in the correct mind set and situation in life to give this a good go.

I have a very professional job which i was only giving 50% to as I was drinking up to a half bottle of vodka every evening after work.

I decided enough was enough and I am now finishing day 27 AF. Im so proud of myself and determined to keep going.

I also had my first sober Christmas in years and loved it

Lovely to see familiar faces and new posters or refreshed names.

I'm doing OK but my goodness I am BORED (which is never a good state for me to be in). Coronavirus has decimated my work, I can't see my grandchildren, and I have too much time on my hands with nothing to do.

I apologise to those who are struggling to cope with busy families / dc and are frazzled. I feel so useless not being able to help my dd with her family. And in my bored state I feel demotivated and lethargic.

Doesn't help that 'helpful' advice from friends is to make the most of this time by having wine with lunch and not having to worry about a hangover

Anyway, I plod on. But without my usual joie de vivre...

Checking in - glancing back I see a few familiar faces. spanna reading the Opal Fruit stash triggered the alarm so I popped back to see what was going on.
Sorry haven’t been around to serenade you all with my triangle. I know how much you enjoy it. My father died two weeks ago so things have been difficult. funeral on Jan 4th, courtesy of Covid!!
Will be doing Dry Jan again - anyone else. Hi to the Newbies!