Brave babes are still here: sping / summer / autumn / winter There is always someone around

[venusandmars]

This topic had being going for years and years and years. Maybe almost as long as some people have been struggling with drinking.

We are still here. Supporting, encouraging, helping. Never judging, never minimising our problems.

If you want to catch up, our last thread is HERE

And if you want to follow everything from the start, the very first thread from 9 years ago is RIGHT HERE

You can join in anytime. Everyone is welcome. Whether you are trying to cut down, abstain completely , or are simply acknowledging that you might have a problem... Post what you want.

Hello Anne and Sweet yes, I'm currently working on rowing back some of my less healthy lockdown (hell, before bloomin' lockdown) habits as well.
It's been so long since I was on Mumsnet I have forgotten all the jargon and how to do emoticons and everything!
Venus you are one of those rare and special people who'se simple existance makes the world a better place!

Not sure what an "abandion" is Ma but stop it anyway!

Sweet well done on day 6! How is the sleep going? I find that my sleeping patterns (Patterns, what patterns?) go completely haywire in the first 6 days AF then I actually experience that bizarre and other-worldly experience that the normal-human-people call 'decent night's sleep'
Before I feck it up by falling off the Bus again that is...

Lilyrose your post is inspiring. 11 months is wonderful and I am so glad that you and your AA sponsor are able to navigate the 'quasi- religious' elements of AA that can put some people off.
(BTW this post comes to you from hypocisy-central as I have still not 'got' the 12 step programme thing despite one of my closest friends being an 8 year AA stalwart)
But bloody good for you Lillyrose and I hear the positivity in your post as well.

Crafty oh my, your post up-thread! (Sorry babes, I am trying to get a wee bit up-to-speed so apologies for being an Indie-come-lately ) really resonated with me. "I feel like my little world has been pulled out from under my feet like the proverbial rug. This year has taken some of the things (and people) I cherish but it’s also taken quite a lot that was stale or not working in my life"
My lovely mate, I can echo those sentiments entirely.
I remain hopeful for a different sense of 'normal' as the world emerges from this crisis and am genuinely heartened by lots of individual stories of people and places and organisations who are developing a kinder and more humane organisation/system/community/whatever, as a result of the pandemic...but I also worry about what raised levels of fear, anxiety and percieved threat from anyone percieved as 'other' , can produce in a society under pressure.

and the threat from people who can't spell perceived...

So night night lovely Babes. Apologies for posting into the void tonight but it is lovely to be back here.
Not sure if I can remember to link things properly but I follow Kate Clancy on twitter who helps refugee children express themselves through poetry and I love this one.
twitter.com/KateClanchy1/status/1274723727289257991/photo/1

Morning All,

IsInde It was lovely to wake up to your posting to the void! My sleep improved almost straight away, which was a surprise, but just the absence of the 9pm pass-out followed by the 2/3am wake up before just getting back to sleep for 15 mins then having to get up. But my skin reacted really badly this time - sore, blotchy, spotty - it's a good thing I can turn off the camera for Zoom calls!

So sorry to hear about your loss, Crafty.

Mint dogs get right into your heart don't they?

To all the new Babes, the struggle is worth it - reach out for help when you need it.

I have a crappy start to the day, my team are getting the voluntary severance talk from one of the big bosses. So it's a relief not to be hung over and emotional before it even starts.

Have the best day you can 'lads'.

Ahh... such a delight to read everyone's posts (old and new). And at indie's comments rabbit killer

Statement: My recent post about Venus is summarily withdrawn and she will be hearing from my lawyers.

Well, I wasn't going to mention the rabbit killing, but seeing as venus has brought it up....there was a witness if this goes to court! Just sayin.

To any new posters, I don't want you to feel excluded from a clique, so the 'rabbit' story is an ancient tale from several years ago when isindie, dementedma and myself had a real live meet-up.

We've been winding isindie up about it ever since... (and oh look, it still works!)

It's taking all my resolve not to hit the 'fuck it' button. They have targeted us (our degree programme) for a 46% reduction in staff. But I have to consider that I may no longer be able to afford to drink.

Hey Sweet I'm so sorry to hear that. I hate the fact that there are such hard times ahead for so many of us...and that those hard times are so NOT going to be evenly distributed!
As you and I am many others on this thread know, hitting the 'fuck it' button just ends up with having all the same shit to deal with AND a hangover and all the anxiety and low feeling a hangover entails.

Sending you love and Lime Opal fruits lovely Sweet

Thanks, Isinde I managed to stay AF and you're right "same shit with a hangover". I have the other half of my contract to keep me going for a while, but we where expecting DH to retire this year, and now he's refusing. But I have colleagues who are much more precarious.

How are you doing? AF? moderating? How is everyone else?

I got through the screaming wine witch (bloody cross about it though) because I didn't have anything in the house except Becks Blue - so planning is helpful.

It's been exhausting though, I think I'll be having an early night.

Night All.

Can I join? It’s been a long time coming. Tomorrow I will not drink.

Evening, lads, I spent most of today buried in tedious admin’ and eating rubbish. About half an hour ago I looked at the calendar and realised what day it is: my 2 years’ sober anniversary. I’d thought about it but come the day, forgot all about it. It feels a very different landmark from a year, more ‘this is my life now, then’. I have days when I just can’t imagine wanting to drink again, and days when I wonder if sobriety is worth it - but I do quite like the no disrupted sleep, crawling anxiety, queasiness or face bloat. And I’ve proved time and again that moderation and me don’t go together. So, a toast? Eisberg AF rose is my recommendation for summer (it’s very drinkable chilled). Peace and Opal Fruits to one and all.

Hi pineapple! . Good luck! And, obvious though it may be to say it, it really is one day at a time. Get treats in (I went crazy for ice cream) and be nice to yourself.

Thinking of you sweet .

Morning All,

Welcome @PineappleCheesecake we're here to help, to distract, or just to listen. tell us what's bought you here if you want to. As Crafty said - planning is the way to get through today.

Crafty how completely wonderful - not only a huge achievement, but it almost passed you by - I think we'd all like to be in that place.

Two hour Union meeting on Zoom this afternoon (sigh). It will be a huge struggle, there will be a lot of anger and upset and my go to solution because I loathe conflict and generally avoid standing up for myself, would be a bottle of Pinot Grigiot just to quiet my brain.

So many people have already been through so much because of C-19, can we just skip to 2021?

I need to order more tea pigs superfruit.

Have the best day you can, and be kind to yourselves.

Thanks crafty and sweet

I’m 38 and been drinking way too much since my teens. There have been better times (I managed dry January, yay!) but thanks to events of the year my bottle of wine a night habit is back and I can’t go on like this. My mum died last month and this has only made the dependence worse.

I’m sick of waking up needing water, sick of feeling like crap, sick of it being what I look forward to all day. Terrified of the health risks. I need to stop. I can’t moderate, I’ve tried.

I read a couple of books in January and decided to face this. Now I need others to talk to so I’m glad I found this thread.

Today I will not drink.

Pineapple I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my mum recently too.

That cycle of fear of carrying on as you are/fear of doing something about it is horrible. It’s like being in the event horizon of a black hole. Once you are further away, you get perspective and you get some head space. For now, be really kind to yourself. When we learn to use alcohol (or anything else) to cope, that’s a powerful driver. Clarity of thinking has been great, if uncomfortable, and I’m a bit less critical of myself these days.

And Sweet amen to skipping straight to 2021. 2020 can eff off. My sober anniversary slipped by unnoticed (almost) because I’ve been near obsessed with a big application form I need to complete, and I think it took all my bandwidth. That and everything else going on in my world and the big world.

Welcome pineapple and well done for taking the first step of posting. Acknowledge-ing out loud that there is a problem is sometimes the hardest and bravest thing we do. I wish I'd taken the same step when I was 38. So have so much wonderful life ahead of you. My forties were an abysmal drunken blur

crafty 2 years is amazing, that's now 732 days taken one at a time (an extra day for today, and one for 29th February)

sweet can you plan something to do immediately after the call? Go for a walk, run, cycle, or watch a favourite comedy with the family. Have dinner prepped and ready and a jug of ice cold lemonade in the fridge... Whatever it takes to distract you from the familiar 'comfort'.

Venus, the Becks Blue is already chilling, and I just bulk ordered 300 teapigs (that is planning, I HAVE to drink them or I'll run out of cupboard space.)

Pineapple, so sorry for your loss, a bottle a night is all too easy, particularly as an escape. But it's not a real escape, just a distraction and you need to be able to grieve to heal. What are your plans for today?