Brave babes are still here: sping / summer / autumn / winter There is always someone around

[venusandmars]

This topic had being going for years and years and years. Maybe almost as long as some people have been struggling with drinking.

We are still here. Supporting, encouraging, helping. Never judging, never minimising our problems.

If you want to catch up, our last thread is HERE

And if you want to follow everything from the start, the very first thread from 9 years ago is RIGHT HERE

You can join in anytime. Everyone is welcome. Whether you are trying to cut down, abstain completely , or are simply acknowledging that you might have a problem... Post what you want.

Hi all, took ages to find you. I dont know if anyone will remember me I was posting a few years ago, after many day 1s I managed nearly 2 years no booze I think. Then a work do which I couldn't face not being 'normal' it was fine and I was appropriate which just gave me confidence that maybe I could handle booze.

Of course I cant. With lock down things have got pretty bad so I just need to tell someone who gets it I need to do something different. I'm not drinking tonight but I think my proper day 1 will be monday... or maybe today... anyway not drinking tonight.

I've read back and I'm so sorry to hear the losses over lockdown and the worries about work, money and loved ones.

Gah! Wrote a long post on my phone then lost it...
Gist of it was welcome back saywhen
Well done on your new resolve and enjoy your sober evening.

Hello saywhen. Almost two years is really good going and a blip is a blip. Enjoy your sober evening. Hope you have lots of treats to enjoy. (I became ice-cream obsessed when I quit).

Thanks venus. You are so lovely and supportive - its appreciated

That's crafty. I've gained so much weight. I'm so embarrassed by it - but you are right I need to treat myself at this point otherwise I'll just crash. Thats what's I'm doing now, a few days not drinking, really dieting and then binge of everything for a few days and start again. So you are right I need to change my view to a longer term one - thanks

Saywhen
Welcome back. Pandemic weight is a bitch.
And you'll soon get to two years again I'm sure 💐

I've been missing you lot loads. Its been a funny old time.

@minttobee it has indeed been the strangest of times.

Initially I was scared and panicked and chasing after every source of data.

There were so many changes, financial, social, day-to-day disruption.

I got used to some of it, I hated some of it.

Now I'm really exploring how I come out of that place. I've come to like some of the slowness, yet I'm desperate to eat in a restaurant. I've enjoyed being close to home but I long to drive fast on an open road. It's been good to connect more deeply with family but I sooo.. miss meeting new people.

It has been the strangest of times. So forgive yourself if you have behaved strangely (or normally) in relation to alcohol.

But know that whatever is going on, alcohol is not the help or the answer.

Thank you, Venus for the wise words.

I feel like my little world has been pulled out from under my feet like the proverbial rug. This year has taken some of the things (and people) I cherish but it’s also taken quite a lot that was stale or not working in my life. I was throwing myself into work in order to avoid addressing other issues, then work pretty much vanished and I had nothing much to do but sort out the other stuff. Now the world seems to be tentatively going back to something recognisable, I don’t know how I’m going to be in response to it. I do know that I have had plenty of ‘fuck it’ moments and wondered if the decision to stop drinking altogether was worth it, but I know alcohol is definitely not my friend and we don’t play nicely together.

Just thought I would check in and say that in a few days time I will be 11 months AF! I am so glad that I gave up alcohol last year as I dread to think what my drinking would have been like during lockdown. I have put on some weight - a combination of not being able to exercise due to a badly broken foot which was not treated properly due to a rather arrogant A&E doctor who insisted that it was not broken, and being ill in Feb/March/April which may or may not have been Covid 19.

However, I am healthy and well and proud to be free (one day at a time as they say in AA) of the demon alcohol. I am doing a couple of AA meetings online by Zoom each week and keep in touch with my AA sponsor. She is lovely and like me is not in the slightest bit religious, so she has helped me to navigate some of the more 'spiritual' elements of AA without losing my identity as an atheist.

I very occasionally think that it would be nice to have a nice cold glass of rose in the garden but I know that I would end up drinking the whole bottle and getting absolutely plastered, and then feel awful the next day. I cannot moderate at all, and have come to accept that. When I first went to AA last July, I could not imagine a life where I would never drink again. Now, the thought of going through all the horrors of blackout drinking, the four horsemen and the awful hangovers fills me with dread.

I'm certainly not perfect and I still wallow in negative thoughts from time-to-time and have days when I feel sorry for myself, but my life is so much better than it was when I was drinking.

Thanks for the inspirational post, Lilyrose and congratulations on 11 months AF - it’s a great achievement. You are right in saying that those feelings of it being unimaginable to not drink give way to finding it bizarre we coped with hangovers, blackouts and anxiety and thought that was normal.

Thanks for sharing that lilyrose it's always lovely to hear how people are doing. I used to think I was a 'high-functioning' alcoholic, holding down a job, not messing up too much. But I know I was just very good at kidding myself, I'm so much more alert and on top of things when I'm not drinking.

Not been on here for over 4 years but wondering if I can climb back on board?

OMG!!!

Gerald has spent a lot of time in the garage, but is still here, in perfect working order, ready for any passenger who need/want to clamber aboard.

Hopefully your post will flush some 'oldies' out of their warm nests, and encourage everyone to post....

Hello lovely woman! I hope you are ok in all of this madness.
I need to read back and catch up a wee bit with this thread!

As a one-person-ltd I don't qualify for any govt scheme but am managing to limp along with virtual stuff.
Although I am mightily sick of seeing my saggy old jowls on Zoom calls!

Hi Wasindie
Lovely to see you back How are you?
I've name changed several times but have been on & off the thread since the first one in 2010.
Currently working on having 2 consecutive AF nights for every 1 drinking night.
Keep posting.

. And commiserates with fellow one-person-ltd not-eligible-for-anything - it truly sucks!

isindie and crafty yup I'm another in the same boat and not eligible for anything. Actually have closed down my ltd co and will therefore miss a big tax bill

I'm limping / stumbling along, and I too have a hatred of looking at my ageing jowls on zoom calls. I've experimented with every possible angle and lighting combination. I have been hoping for the lean and healthy looking visage... Instead I look like someone who has been on an all inclusive holiday - too tanned, too fat, too bloated, too bored.

Zoom calls (Zoom is evil). Try to ensure you are looking up a bit at the camera. Gazing down (as most of us do) is unflattering to anyone except that geezer Narcissus in the painting. And he never had to bother with fecking Zoom calls.

Aw thanks for the welcome back lovely Babes!
Yes, Zoom is bloody evil and I have experimented with all sorts of angles but there's no escaping the wrinkles!
Another issue is just how long you can stand to be on it. I had one day last week with 5 hours of Zoom calls spread over an 8 hour day and felt totally brain-dead by 6!

Oh yes, Indi - I’ve just deferred a training course I had planned to start in autumn - partly due to trying to manage Zoom or similar for the foreseeable. It’s much more tiring than being in a room with someone.

It’s true! venus messaged me and it’s true.
Indie is BACK!..Charges up the bus scattering Opal Fruits everywhere and pins indie to seat in a huge t’interbosie!!!
Where da FUCK have you been?

Evening All, another babe from the past sneaking back on board.

It's been over a year since I was last here, and the AF days have been few and far between until last week. I had to take my lockdown self in hand because I was drinking more than ever and it was really taking its toll. So here I am, day six, feeling grateful for the familiarity of the Bus and all of the wisdom you lot bring to it.

And Inde is here!

Hey Sweet!

Sweet good to hear from you. Keep posting!

Oh my goodness! How fab to see your post Ma