Brave babes are still here: sping / summer / autumn / winter There is always someone around

[venusandmars]

This topic had being going for years and years and years. Maybe almost as long as some people have been struggling with drinking.

We are still here. Supporting, encouraging, helping. Never judging, never minimising our problems.

If you want to catch up, our last thread is HERE

And if you want to follow everything from the start, the very first thread from 9 years ago is RIGHT HERE

You can join in anytime. Everyone is welcome. Whether you are trying to cut down, abstain completely , or are simply acknowledging that you might have a problem... Post what you want.

Aww crafty, I'm so sorry.

Thank you, chaps. Appreciated.

Hope you are doing ok crafty

More horrible news.
I found our beloved little rescue dog dead in her bed on Wednesday morning. She'd had a seizure. Its so soon after losing Ruby at the beginning of the lockdown.
One of my husband's friends died of Covid last week.
Will it ever end.

Oh mint what a sad and horrible time. Please take care of yourself - cry, scream, lay on the floor or fight with a pillow. Hugs the creatures that surround you and know that you gave that we dog all that she needed.

wee dog!

Hello brave babes, I feel like fucking Eminem ("guess who's back, back again")

I am going to have a proper catch up but I get from the last few posts Crafty has lost her dog. I am so, so sorry. My girl (cat) is 12 and I'll be absolutely bereft when we lose her.

I have dipped in and out for a while now and it's time to come back....

Had 40 days dry in September, did dry January and then I think another period somewhere?? Can't even remember!!

Each time I have gone back harder to the dreaded alcohol.

Am just getting over a rotten wisdom tooth infection and have decided to use my time of non boozing [was on the horrid antibiotics] to spring board me for a sober month at least
It's my 40th next month and I cannot realistically see myself doing that sober, but we'll see.

Lockdown has seen me spiral somewhat. With none of my usual foundations in place (work, school runs, appointments with disabled toddler) I was free to drink and drink I did! It got bad.... I am always able to have nights off here and there - even managed a full week but I always go back. I found being able to roll out of bed at the time I'd usually be up and out the door with 3 dressed / fed kids wasn't good for my drinking. At all.

So I have stopped, can't even think what day I am on now? Still single figures but a good start.

I've also started testing my blood sugars, I had GD in my last pregnancy and I am a fat mess - gained a stone in lockdown - to add the many other stones I really do not need. My fasting readings put me in "pre-diabetic" range so I need to sort this shit out. I need to start loving and respecting myself again.

So here I am, again, back for some kindness and some support from people who know how it is!

Oh God I am so hugely embarrassed, you lost your Mum @Craftycorvid

Please forgive me, I got you mixed up with Minty.

So very sorry to hear this and I am an idiot for posting in such haste before reading properly.

I hope you are coping as best you can, it is such a strange time that everything seems to be so "different". I cannot imagine how hard it is to be grieving at the moment.

Sorry about your dog as well Mint, pets truly do get under your skin and become part of the family.

Crunchymum. Absolutely no offence taken. Loss is loss - and beloved pets matter. My dear mum wouldn’t have been offended either!

Drinking more in lockdown is going to happen for some of us. When things this big happen, all our normal ways of feeling secure go out of the window. If you can, build some sort of routine (yes, I bet you’ve heard this a hundred times, but it helps); connect with anything, no matter how small it seems, that feels familiar and controllable - be that dinner on the table at a certain hour or revisiting a favourite book from childhood. Move: the fight/flight/freeze response kicks in at times like these and any exercise, especially outdoors, even for just ten minutes, helps. Treats that aren’t alcohol - whether it’s a stupidly trashy book or a hot bath. Be really kind to yourself.

Mint that’s so sad and a shock. But what a loved little dog who went to sleep knowing that they were safe and loved. I hope you and your husband are looking after each other.

I went down to mum’s place today to collect paperwork and sort out a few things. I think I now know when she died (bless her, she was a creature of habit, and left clues). The house felt different but less sad.

@dementedma @venusandmars
A whole year since that magical day!

@Craftycorvid
How are you doing now? I hope things have got a little easier for you.

Congratulations on your first year, Mint. Wow, but that really has flown!

I’m ok. I’m working my way through all the paperwork at the moment - I think having jobs to do is quite therapeutic though.

What a year its been for all of us.
I'm calling 2020 the year that never was.

I think I now know when she died (bless her, she was a creature of habit, and left clues)
Same here. In our case it was the calendar not crossed off.

All the paperwork. I remember it well. I have a huge bag of it here. My Mum kept very precise records. We use it as fire lighters now. It's very odd seeing her writing.
It goes get better. I didn't believe anyone when they told me that, but it does.

@MintToBee

Today is also the anniversary of my Mum's death - a few years ago now .
I read something recently which said that the pain of grief doesn't go away, but gradually life wraps itself around it so it feels less raw.

Hope everyone is surviving and finding ways to be stay sober or to get back on top of bad habits.

Hello, only just found this thread. I've realized I have a problem and am on day 4. X

Hi there hangingover and welcome. It's been rather quiet on here recently - I think people have had other things to absorb them in recent months!

I think this is a great time to get to grips with drinking - we have gradually more freedom to go out, but the pubs and restaurants are not yet open. It's a great time to develop new habits as we start meeting up with friends and family. I've met a couple of friends to go for a (suitably distanced) walk rather than meeting for a boozy lunch. Of if you're meeting for a barbeque, the additional lockdown weight that I've put on is an excellent reason to stick to non-alcoholic soda water with lime.

Well done on 4 days, and feel free to post whatever and whenever it helps.

Thank you, I will. It's been a real turning point for me and I still feel a bit shellshocked and fragile. It's come at a good time for me. DP is going to do it with me (he's v. take it or leave it about booze and once gave up for 8 years just because he felt like it). We're currently stuck abroad so hopefully by the time we get back to the UK there will be new good habits in place. I feel so so so tired though, in spite of sleeping better! Suppose it's because I'd usually have had a drink by now (6pm) to perk me up!

Let's be honest probably three by now actually.

Hangingover
Well done on taking the first baby steps. And having a supportive partner will really help.
Better sleep will come soon. It took about a week for me.

Just checking in . Thanks for the shout out mint. Your wedding came up on my FB feed as a year ago. Hard to believe. So sorry to hear you have lost two of your 4 legged bridesmaids.
Crafty so sorry to hear about your mum. Mine is 85 and living alone so it has been hard trying to look after her in all this. I do feel for you.

I'm not doing great. drinking way too much again. Really struggling with lockdown restrictions on work. Hate working from home - too small a space, too many people, no peace, no social interaction.
I am very worried about how much longer I can do it.

hi to all new Babes and waves to venus

Hi Ma and new babes! It’s really tough, isn’t it? I’m more-or-less self employed and business is down to almost nothing.

Hi Babes, also just checking in. Have also drank too much recently. Trying to get back on track. Currently managing every other day AF. Not ideal but an improvement.

Crafty I'm the same. Self employed, work decimated till at least October (then normally quiet over winter), income close to zilch and seem to fall outside every help scheme. In the grand view we are OK are will survive, dp has secure job and we can pay the bills, but I have had to ask him for money, and that feels crap. (he is fine and has no problem with it, but that doesn't make me feel any better).

Plus, dp is working from home. I am used to a whole quiet peaceful house to myself all day... no longer. We had a tough month at the beginning while he typed like a furious demon and made loud phone calls and I fumed quietly and even resorted to some secret drinking which is always a really, really, really bad sign.

Things have stabilised, on all fronts, but it's been a tough time.

You and me both in terms of the government schemes, Ma. I started within the last few years and was only just starting to earn when we locked down - I can do my work remotely but many clients don’t want to work this way. Fortunately we’re ok financially, but I’m not sure how things will pan out in future for my job.

I really get the fuming at all the little noises off from one’s other half too! We are negotiating use of lounge/study here and DH does his gardening when he needs some space!

Same here. Husband is self employed and has no work and doesn't qualify for the SE grant. I'm furloughed.
Its starting to be a real struggle as we dont seem to qualify for any benefit help.