Brave babes are still here: sping / summer / autumn / winter There is always someone around

[venusandmars]

This topic had being going for years and years and years. Maybe almost as long as some people have been struggling with drinking.

We are still here. Supporting, encouraging, helping. Never judging, never minimising our problems.

If you want to catch up, our last thread is HERE

And if you want to follow everything from the start, the very first thread from 9 years ago is RIGHT HERE

You can join in anytime. Everyone is welcome. Whether you are trying to cut down, abstain completely , or are simply acknowledging that you might have a problem... Post what you want.

Hello!

Can I rejoin you please? I made a brief appearance on an older thread.

I have some serious problem drinkers in my family and lost my wonderful late mother to alcoholism a few years ago.

I have to admit now that, although in recent years I have mainly managed to be a moderate drinker, it takes effort and I have a tendency to want more and more once I've started and big nights can get out of hand.

I have been reading some 'quit lit' lately, sort of by accident, as a friend has recently gone teetotal and I was buying her a book, which I then decided I'd quite like to read, so bought myself a copy too. It really resonated with me and I started to question my relationship with alcohol. Meanwhile, my lovely sister has become suicidal. I believe this is, at least partly, as a result of her drinking problem. She is now doing dry January and is having therapy.

Anywho, I have decided to stop drinking. I'm not setting myself a time limit tbh. I don't envisage a time when I will start to look at alcohol in the same way and want to drink it after what it has done to my family. My sister and mum aren't the only ones in my family with a drinking problem. So I am beginning to think that, for me, alcohol is never going to be a good idea.

Excuse the ramble and I hope you don't mind me hopping aboard again .

Welcome slings and sober you're right that it is more than just 'not drinking' it's about the whole relationship with alcohol and what it does to our bodies, relationships, mental health...

blearyeyes I know that some people get very concerned about withdrawal, it can be life threatening, and in some recovery programmes they taper down for a few days. What usually happens to you if you do have an occasional day without alcohol (or with less)? Do you shake, get hot, dizzy, confused, have irregular heart beat? If you think you're alcohol dependent then take it cautiously, look out for symptoms of withdrawal and get medical help if required. Do you have a partner who is aware of what you're doing who can watch out for any changes and call for help if needed?

Thank you venus and you are so right it is more than not drinking too much and is also so personal. For lots of people I think drinking a little bit can work, but for me it just leads to it being forever on my mind. When can I have my two glasses of wine? How much am I allowed to drink in one evening? For me, that seems to take more effort than just saying "I do not drink alcohol".

I'm only on day eight of no booze btw, but I am practising saying "I don't drink"; when the occasion calls for it obviously. I don't make a big announcement everywhere I go .

Thanks @venusandmars.

I get anxious on a day without drinking, but I don’t display any physical symptoms such as shaking etc so hopefully I will be ok. My partner is aware I intend to stop on Sunday so I will let him know about withdrawal symptoms. I don’t really want to involve my doctor but will seek help if needed.

I’ll be back on Sunday. Have a great weekend everyone.

Hi everyone,

I'd love to join you all aboard the bus this year! I have decided to do 2020 alcohol-free....

In my late teens and early 20s I had a very messy relationship with alcohol, and although it's definitely settled down (I'm 31 now) I still don't have an off-switch when I start, and I definitely use it as a crutch for socialising. I hardly ever drink but when I do, it's a big one and I'm just so done with alcohol having that control over me once I've had one glass. I want to know what my life is like without alcohol in it. I don't know what I'll do after 2020 but I'm hoping this year can be a reset of my relationship with alcohol (I was never introduced to it in a healthy way, and have just had to cobble together my own boundaries around it which I think is why it's taken me so long to sort it all out in my own head).

It's going to be a hard year, as I have a wedding where I will see my father for the first time since going NC in September.... But I'm in therapy and have the support of lots of people, so I am not feeling too concerned just yet.... I also have a lot of friends who love to drink and I find that UK society in particular is very judgemental of people who don't drink.... It has such stigma. So I need to be prepared for the peer-pressure and the sober socialising.

Anyway, hope I haven't blabbered on too much! I'm feeling excited and empowered to see where this journey takes me and looking forward to the ride and wherever we all end up!

PS @MintToBee that photo is just stunning, whereabouts is that? I'm guessing Scotland?

@TrueRefuge Its in Ayrshire in the Galloway Forest. Scotland is just beautiful. Best move I ever made!

Wow amazing, it looks absolutely beautiful

Good evening, Braves! Pleased to report day 1 (for me) of Dry January passed without a qualm, no apparent withdrawal signs. Opened a can of Blood Orange San Pellegrino for the first time ever, quite enjoyed the initial taste but it soon grew too sweet and I couldn't help thinking how much nicer it would be with a large gin in it
.

Anyway, today is Friday and I'm a tiny bit sad not to be having a weekend drink ... sorry venusandmars IME most of your suggestions are either too milky or flowery or minty, or just too sickly. 《picky》

But I am resolved not to weaken - even if there are tears of self-pity here - and this evening I'll try a different soft drink maybe or just some sparkling water.
《chin up and breathe deeply》 .

Sending strength to all pp.

TurnStone I usually have soda water with freshy squeezed lime - but often too sour for some

Checking in. All going well here. Drinking diet coke or diet lemonade in the evening.

I offered a friend a lift to a party we are going to soon which is due to be a very messy alcohol fuelled affair. I explained I was "doing Dry January" and she refused my lift saying she was doing it too. We then went on to have a conversation about trying to make it more than just one month.

This has made me feel much more positive about how my "news" will be received by my nearest and dearest. I also told one of my adult DC today and they were supportive.

I am guessing weekends are more difficult for many of you ( as a daily drinker it makes no difference to me!) so stay strong Babes!!

That's great that your friend and DS are being supportive 2020! I've only really mentioned it to my dad who is more or less teetotal himself, so he is supportive too. I have mentioned to my sister but have just said I'm doing Dry January too and mentioned it a friend that I'm having a good break from alcohol.

Tbh, I have a cast iron excuse. This is so crass, but nobody can really argue with the number of serious problem drinkers in my family. So, if anyone questions it, I will direct them to exhibit a, dead mother, exhibit b suicidal sister, exhibit c auntie in and out of rehab. I could go on.

Sorry if this is a bit strong. I would never say it so bluntly IRL, but having a mini vent here.

Day 4 for me today and it hasn't been too bad for me so far. I'm quite impressed with myself as DS is still off school and I'm off work so we don't have to be up in the morning for anything. The not having anything to drive for is always a risk for me. I find it much easier not drinking Sunday-Thursday in term time. I haven't actually told anyone I'm doing dry January again. I did a dry 2018 prompted by my first successful dry January. Not sure what I'm going to do this year.

We've been for a walk on the beach today which was very cold and windy but good. Came back and the new hub thing for the internet has arrived. I've set it up and it worked for 10mins, now it's flicked off and on again. The repeated flicking off and on was why it was being replaced. I really want to watch the 2nd series of You on Netflix but I'm not prepared to start it if the internets dodgy. Going to give it a few hours then ring and ask what I can do now if it's still unreliable.

Hope everyone else is having a good day.

Oh, what's You please baking? I don't have Netflix or anything (technophobe ). Am I massively missing out?

Walk on the beach sounds so lovely. I miss being near the sea (I am from coastal Ireland and also lived near the coast in Scotland for a few years ). There's nothing like walking along the beach.

Re the chat on not too sweet AF drinks, I've gone a bit old school and started drinking tomato juice! I put Tabasco and celery salt in it. Also love soda and fresh lime, but it is sour as venus says. Nice and refreshing though.

Drops in from a cold wet Scotland to second soda and lime as a nice refreshing drink.
I'm in the middle of a mass decluttering session today. The charity shop is going to be stuffed to the rafters and the tip will be full 😂

Sober Not massively missing out no. I don't watch a huge amount on Netflix but You is a book by Caroline Kepnes that was adapted for TV. It's about a psychopathic serial killer that just seems to make you like him in a wierd way. I saw the tv version first then read the first book. The 2nd book is Hidden Bodies and I'm hoping the 2nd series is going to adapt that. However, at this rate I'll never see it! I think the books are better than the show.

Mint I have a bag by the door for the charity shop which has been there nearly 2 weeks. If I'm not careful it's going to make it's way back into the house!

I'm drinking diet lilt at the moment. Only a glass a night though because it's a bit sweet.

Ooooh, I saw a bit of Dexter which sounds sort of similar to that..? He was a sort of likeable serial killer iirc. I might check out the books if they look good, as I've fallen back in love with my ancient kindle recently. Instant new books .

PS: mint, through my rose coloured spectacles, I recall none of this wet, cold weather of which you speak .

When I was being blown to bits on the beach this morning I was convincing myself that the beaches in south wales never got that cold! I'm sure they do it's just I only ever visit in spring or summer now so I think I've conveniently forgotten!

I haven't seen Dexter Sober, it's something my mum keeps telling me to try along with Peaky blinders. There's a new drama on channel 4 starting on friday at 9pm that I can't remember the name of but looks quite good. Usually by 9pm on a friday I'd be unable to concentrate on anything properly but this week I may watch it live. Although then I'd have to watch it every week rather than binging it. I'm quite partial to binge watching stuff when I'm not drinking.

Day 4 here. Not too bad as I don't particularly feel like it's the weekend (so don't have that feeling of "it's the weekend, open the wine"

All 3 of my kids have or have recently had a sickness bug so that has kept me out of temptations way as well.... and I don't feel wondeful myself.

Just making mini meatballs [Saturday night ritual is take away and wine so I'm trying to break this pattern.... but I'll have mine tomorrow] and I'll be heading up to bed with a runny arsed toddler as soon as I can.

Hi small and slings. Thanks for looking after Barrie!

Day 4 pretty much done. Got one of those fake gin botanical things to try. It’s not great but its ok with tonic and lime in and feels like a drink...and it’s not sickly sweet.

I watched all the recent Dracula adaptation. The last episode was poor, but the first and second were fun and dear God, that is one sexy blood sucker!!!

Hello everyone. Lots of cautious positivity on here - it’s great and lovely to see more people around. Let’s keep it up!

Day 4 for me, like many. I’m fine, feeling ok and quite low key about it all. I’m trying to be mindful and just reflect on how I’m feeling, let it wash around me rather than challenging it or worrying about it from minute to minute. On the downside, to my alarm I’ve found today harder than weekdays when I’m at work - I’ve been at home most of today and I had some real wobbles around the sherry bottle at about 11am, which was a real shock and an early reminder that complacency is the enemy and the WW can attack sneakily at any time. On the upside I’ve been so, so much sharper at work even in those two or three days - so much more energy and focus. Is everyone else finding that? Predictable shame as to how much of a half life I live most of the time, permanently part hungover and grey. Anyway, onwards and upwards.

The kids are watching the Greatest Dancer. If anything is likely to drive me to drink it’s that - bewilderingly inane. What’s everyone else up to?

bakingcupcakes I already have two large boxes for the charity shop which have been in the spare room since June 🤭
SoberMeTimbers The downside of living in Scotland! I miss the endless Summers of my childhood in Devon.

SmallFox We've just had dinner and are now sitting in the front room in silence trying to see if teeny tiny foster dog will settle in the dog crate with our lot. 🤞

Oh God, you have my sympathies dealing with all the tummy bugs crunchymum. It's crap (literally) when they all get it! Hope you don't catch it.

smallfox, I am watching The Voice . I secretly love it.

dementedma, I saw Dracula was on last night, but didn't fancy it for some reason. My dcs were up so fecking late last night that I probably didn't really have much choice come to think of it. I'm strangely looking forward to term starting again on Monday, so we can get back into some sort of routine.

mint, I'm in the SE England now, but have also lived in Somerset, so not far from Devon. It is warmer here, but there is a lot I miss about Scotland...and Somerset tbh... ah nostalgia. It's not what it used to be eh ?

Ok I’m officially on the bus now and beginning day one. 😁

Party was good, though I came home and drank more wine which I finished off around one am. I don’t feel hungover, just lethargic and will probably have something to eat and a nap before I really start my day.

I hope I get through the next days without any serious withdrawal symptoms! I have a busy week at work ahead and know it’s going to be difficult getting into a decent sleep pattern without passing out due to drink.