Brave babes are still here: sping / summer / autumn / winter There is always someone around

[venusandmars]

This topic had being going for years and years and years. Maybe almost as long as some people have been struggling with drinking.

We are still here. Supporting, encouraging, helping. Never judging, never minimising our problems.

If you want to catch up, our last thread is HERE

And if you want to follow everything from the start, the very first thread from 9 years ago is RIGHT HERE

You can join in anytime. Everyone is welcome. Whether you are trying to cut down, abstain completely , or are simply acknowledging that you might have a problem... Post what you want.

Hi 2020 and welcome back (whoever you were, and however long ago you first joined us - returners always have a special seat on the bus).

It's the time of year when people start thinking of new resolutions. If it includes reducing or avoiding alcohol then there can be the temptation to 'just go for it' now - last chance saloon, and all that nonsense.

Well yes, it is nonsense. Why not ditch that thinking and get a head start. No alcohol today, no alcohol tomorrow and you could already be 2 days up on the other dry January people . Start now by experimenting with different non-alcoholic drinks, find your favourites so that by the 1st of January you're ready to go.

At this time of year hot chocolate is always one of my favourites, made with extra cream and coconut oil (whizzed in a blender) for a really indulgent and satisfying experience.

Or mulled wine teabags for a festive winter feel.

Or something refreshing and clean (after all that Christmas stodge) and try slices of ginger, slices of lime and a few sprigs of fresh mint all steeped in mug of boiling water. Or add fresh lemon grass for an oriental twist.

For cold drinks: try the classic N&T (nothing and tonic) - ice cold fevertree tonic (go on, spoil yourself) with lemon or lime, loads of ice, all served in a wonderful glass with a straw. When I first had these I would sometimes 'rinse the glass with gin i.e. put a small measure of spirits in the glass, run it round, and tip it back into the bottle. It gave just the merest hint of gin aroma. But a strategy like that all depends on where you're coming from, avoid it if you think you've got anything near an addiction problem.

Bottle green cordials are wonderful and come in all kind of exciting flavours: rhubarb, sloe & juniper, ginger & lemongrass, elderflower. Or if you're going to / holding a party their sparking presses are good. Or for a fizz alternative Asda Nosecco (currently available at £2.50) is pretty amazing. It was included in the bbc good food 'best non-alcoholic drinks for 2019.

So whatever you're doing, whatever stage you're at, whether you're cutting down, moderating, abstaining, or just thinking about it, have a good one. And keep on keeping on (KOKO).

Thanks for the welcome back

I am one of those who gives up for several weeks, then thinks I have got it cracked and that I can just have a drink when I am out socialising etc.

But I can't. I mean, I can, but rather swiftly I slide back into drinking every day, at home as well as when out.

I had that thought when I was making dinner, that I had half a bottle of very good red wine to drink, and I may as well finish it off. But I think I will pour it down the sink. I am meeting friends for lunch tomorrow and have already warned them I won't be drinking.

These particular friends will be fine with that, but my main circle of friends will be less accommodating I suspect, and I really do not want to lose them

Mint thanks for the suggestion of a 'cover story' I can totally use.

More plans :

An elastic band round the wrist for a little sting when I am tempted
A specific chant to help my head focus during the difficult bits (early evenings and cooking dinner)

Find things that put me off the taste of wine:

Toothpaste, mouthwash
Airwaves gum
Orange juice , grapefruit
Chilli pickles
Gherkins

Anyone care to share tips that may work/have worked for them?

Also Mayonnaise. Wine tastes guff with mayo.

Morning! And a Happy Hogmanay eve to you all.
Waves at Ma Corvid Venus How are you? And welcome to 2020

TurnStone You could always set up a justgiving page and get your friends involved. If you are actually doing dry January for charity it may get you through the difficult times at the beginning?

We are having a low key Hogmanay here. I expect I'll be in bed by 10.30! I have managed to grab the last couple of bottles of Nosecco left in Asda though just in case I make it to the bells. One thing that I have noticed since being AF, our friends and invites to dinner/parties etc have completely disappeared. Our social life has dwindled to us and the dogs going away in the van!!

Happy new year brave babes and positive thoughts for 2020 x

Hey everyone,

I don’t post much these days since I first poked by head around the door three years ago this very night I think it was.

I do read though from time to time and think about you all.

As for me, I’m now a very moderate drinker, if a doctor asked me how many units I consume in an average week I could truthfully answer ‘none’ it used to be closer to 100, posting here helped so much.

I’ve had a few over Christmas, I’ll have a couple at a wedding but mindfully and never at home alone these days.

Best wishes to you all, keep on - it’s really worth it.

Happy 2020 to one and all!

Happy New Year! Bliadhna Mhath Ùr!
And that's my NY resolution sorted 😂

Happy New Year!!

It felt so good waking up this morning without a hangover. Went to a party but left after about three hours which is when my lovely drunken friends started to irritate me. This surprised me as I thought I would get annoyed earlier. I am pleased to think I can go out with drinking friends for three hours and still enjoy myself. I had lots of fun, was leading the dancing and laughing lots.

I am still really worried about what the reaction will be when they realise it wasn't a one off. I know they will be sort of disappointed and maybe defensive. We are all early fifties and it's Gen X culture to drink the existential misery away...........

Off for a walk on the beach today. Have a great one.

Happy New Year Babes!

I've been away from here for a long time. Still drinking but fairly moderately. Debating doing a dry January and finishing a never ending cross stitch piece in the spare time. I've been trying to lose a bit of weight as all my jeans are tight. I did well (half a stone) until DS finished for the holidays and now I think I've put most of it back on.

Nothing is going well and I'm quite proud of myself for not resorting to drink on a daily basis. I cried last night because 2020 is going to be hard and horrible at least for the first half and there's not much I can do about it.

It's lovely to see the bus picking up again. I do come back and look now and again but never feel I have much useful to add.

Hi all, I’d love to get on board. I’ve been through a separation this year and have been drinking far too much ever since justifying it to myself. Ive drunk every night for the last month or so and want to not feel rubbish all the time and have more energy for my daughter. Especially as I’m now navigating single parentdom.

I don’t really have an issue with stopping once I’ve started so my goal is to not to give up entirely but to drink a lot less - so not to drink in the week at home at all and limit myself to 3/4 bottle of wine at weekend.

Welcome Laylight, I wish I could stop once I'd started! It's great if you can save some for another day.

I also feel pretty rubbish with the regular drinking and I miss all the sober nights where I listened to loads of telly while sewing. I always felt really productive and I seemed to have loads of time once DS was in bed. The bus is usually fairly busy with posts this time of year. Hopefully someone else will be along later with further words of wisdom!

bakingcupcakes I hope things improve for you this year.

I am astonished how much extra energy I have after just four days not drinking. I am really at the state I had got myself into without realising.

And me 2020 I had such a good year in 2019 too. Went on some fab holidays, work was good, it's only the end where it's gone to shit. I feel like this has been the best I've ever done at moderating too and I really don't want it to slip away. I haven't had a drink tonight, actually did loads on my cross stitch and now I'm reading my book. Even just not having a couple has made me much more productive! Are you doing dry January?

Lux! Good to see you again. And cupcakes!
Quite a few of us old timers slinking back. Nice to meet the newbies too. Has anyone been looking after Barrie?
Day 1 done and dusted.

@bakingcupcakes @LuxuryWoman2020 Good to see you!
lux I'm still following your treat yourself wisdom. My current obsession is bomb cosmetics bath bombs
ma Guess what I found when I spring cleaned the bus........4781072543 green opal fruits hidden away
@2020newme Yesterday we started the year with a climb up a big mountainhill. It was blooming lovely but very cold. Then I finished the Nosecco off with dinner.

Hi Ma and Mint and everyone else. Stunning view Mint. They always are. I saw a beautiful sunset on new years eve that I really wanted to stay and watch. Unfortunately DS didn't so we left. I have the photo of it as my lock screen instead!

I feel tired and out of sorts today. I was up very late (couldn't sleep) and cried a lot because obviously that helps. Thankfully I hadn't had a drink as alcohol would no doubt make me feel a whole lot worse. I'm now definitely going to do dry january (and maybe longer) so today is day 2.

I joined you for 41 days back in Sept / Oct and then fell off the bus (ouch!)

Went from once a week, to Fri and Sat, to Fri, Sat and Sun and then a few drinks on Thursday too. My usual MO to be honest. I'd only manage 3/4 dry days a week as I take a medication which you aren't really meant to drink alcohol with
So some weeks I don't take my medication.

I can't moderate long term and have a real "well I've fucked up anyway so may as well drink every night this week" mentality.

Dry January isn't going to be enough for me. I need more. I need to stop.

So I'm back. I'm tired and fat and grumpy and demotivated. But sober!!

Happy 2020 to all. Good to see old and new, familiar names, changed names and recent joiners.

I've been here since almost the beginning, and I pretty much don't drink. But it's amazing how easy it is just to slip back into that old familiar routine... A special anniversary led into a family celebration. A week over Christmas in a location without a car meant my usual approach of being the sober driver was changed. Impromptu visit by friends bearing champagne. It is such an easy tumble to take.

So now I'm back with you all, sharing the effort, appreciating waking up with a clear head, and goodness knows at this time of year I need all the health energy and vibrancy that I can muster knows that plans for 3 months of hibernation are not really viable

Crunchy I also have issues around moderating long term. It tends to creep up until it's every day again. I have had some evenings where I've just had 1 or 2 but that just kind of makes me wonder what the point is. Why not drink tea instead kind of thing!

Venus It's frighteningly easy to slip back into old habits. I think one of the big things for me is being able to recognise when it's happening and stop.

Day 2 for me today. I think I'll be in bed soon. I can't handle late nights anymore!

Hi Babes,
Lovely to see the bus so busy
Day 2 of Dry January done. Easy so far as I'm full of cold, but that won't last forever. Tonics in the fridge & stocked up on Pukka night time , it's quite pleasant & definitely helps me get to sleep quicker.
We can do this!

Time for another oldie to slink back on board and curl up at the back.

Day 2 done. Nice to see the bus getting busier again. Where are the Opal Fruits, Ma?

Will read back and say hi properly soon.

I need to stop drinking but I’m scared of withdrawal. I’ve been drinking about 2 bottles of wine a day for ages. Is it safe to just stop?

I’m high functioning and intend to stop on Sunday as I have a party tomorrow. I get tipsy in social occasions but go home and finish the job by getting drunk so I can pass out. I know I could not go to the party but that isn’t going to happen so Sunday is the day.

Morning all, I’m another one crawling back on the bus.

Lovely to see some old names, Ma, Venus, Cupcakes, fox,
Mint and some new, (welcome to you, it’s a lovely bus!)

I’ve been doing reasonably well with moderating - not drinking Monday - Thursday, but it crept up over Christmas and New Year, drinking a couple of bottles of wine a day, and by NYD I felt bloody dreadful.

So I’m going to try dry January (again). Day 3, and feeling better already. Slept brilliantly last night. But day 3 is usually my nemesis, and it’s Friday so usually a drinking day, but today I will not be drinking.

Ps, Barrie’s been living in my pond until the bus got going again. I’m glad to hand him back, he’s always hungry.