If someone messaged to say your DH was cheating

[GummyGoddess]

What questions would you ask for 'proof'?

Was going to nc but I cannot be arsed.

Do you know who has messaged you?
I would just ask them how they know.
I am sorry you are going through this.

Yes I would ask for proof.

Screen shots of messages, dates etc.

I had this once. What the person didnt realise is that, my then dp had picked up evening shifts in the hotel I was working at to save for our wedding.

She knew me and knew the evenings I worked and reeled a few of those off. Assuming, dp would have been at home, alone.

But he wasnt. I went and checked the swipe in and out report, it was a small hotel and I saw him many times through the evenings.

So I knew it wasnt true. But neither would I automatically dismiss it, if I recieved a message like that again.

I don't know her, no. She has sent me a selfie he took of himself at work and pictures of my dc when I asked.

Have those pics been shared? Is that the entire proof?

I dont get how that's proof?

We have a work group chat on what's app. It's not a unheard of for people to post photos in there.

Or in social media. Or a friends social media.

Taking a selfie and find a photo of your kids, isnt proof though

Is she giving you her real name or remaining anonymous?

No, they're not posted anywhere. She sent me pictures of a profile on a website which does sound like him, knows of an identifying mark on his body and told me days he was with her which marry up and that he's slept with someone else I know of but she couldn't have known.

Can you think of anybody who has a grudge against you or your husband who would say this ? Ask for more specific information. When and who with ? Then think about where your DH was.
If you then think it may be true make your own enquires before you confront DH.
Hope it's not true but when my husband was having an affair I wish someone had told me. My friends had suspicions but nobody wanted to be the one to tell me. Good luck OP.

It's her real name, she messaged me on facebook and the profile isn't new.

Gosh sorry op you’re dealing with this. Sounds perhaps, if you feel you have proof, that she has just found out about you ?

I'm so sorry you're in this situation.

Are there are screenshots of messages, any online dating profiles?

Has he been acting differently or any changes to his routine/working hours?

I'm genuinely sorry you're going through this. Must be a lot for you to process.

What are her reasons for telling you?
I would say a lot of what she has told you already is proof enough.
Sorry OP.

So she is the ow?
Have you messaged her back?
Did you have any idea of anything before she messaged you?

Does she have text messages from him to her?

Photos of them together?

Is the mark in a place you'd only see if you were intimate with him...or could it be seen if you went swimming?

Where is the mark.

So far, if she is the OW, the information doesnt prove or disprove anything.

What website? Suet she could have set that up herself?

If she is OW she must have messages and more proof.

What does she mean he slept with someone else, but she couldn't have known? She knows he has a wife though?

Surely it's not really her business and why would she known the only person that needs to know is you.

What's your gut telling you?

There is no reason for any normal person to do this so therefore I would believe her . She might be able to say something like " you know the night he was really late home before you went on your holiday to Las Vegas" well he was me . However if she is real she will have messages.

What does she mean he slept with someone else, but she couldn't have known? She knows he has a wife though?

I read this ad he slept with someone else, that the OP already knows about, but the OW wouldn't have known unless her DH told her...or indeed the OW told her.

She also may not have known he was married to begin with, but knows now.

We see threads were the posterm just found out.

Yes, I had a letter - which it transpired was sent by my then DH. I never found out if the OW knew he did that.

If you don’t know her I would probably believe what she is telling the truth. She has no reason to lie. It sounds very much like he’s told her he’s single but she’s found out he’s not!

Ask for all the proof. Everything they know.
I say this because my husband got messages from a ex (from his teen years 15 years ago) telling him that I had cheated and our kids weren't his etc. What she didn't know was that DH and I are one of those couples who spend every day together. Even going to the shops with eachother so cheating isn't possible. Turned out she had done it before with someone else and already had been charged with stalking and harassment.

She got a stalking conviction after we went to the police. She's a nut job who got off doing that kind of stuff.

Just ask for all the proof she has.

Sounds believable from what you've said.

If she is drip feeding proof, I would be inclined to believe she is definitely shit stirring. She may or may not have seen with him.

But I cant believe the best proof she has is a selfie of him, that could have come from anywhere. And some photos of your kids.

If she is holding back the more definitive proof, she is enjoying this.

I would tell her you need more proof and you arent going to play her games.

@SandyY2K yes I can see how its read that way.

OP is she claiming she met him through this website? Which website is it?

If she knows the mark on his body I would say it’s more likely that she saw it through an affair than swimming .

@BikeTart Your cheating husband sent you an anonymous letter to tell you he was cheating??

That's awful! Why?!