Other woman of a 18month affair

[Onimod24]

I met a guy, I knew he had a girlfriend of 3 years at the time but the occasional text I thought meant nothing, we started to get feelings for each other we worked together so went for a drink after a meeting and kissed. We never thought anything would come of this at the time and just enjoyed each other’s friendship and company. About just over a month in we found out the girlfriend was pregnant. We both agreed to stop talking and agreed ‘right person wrong time’. This didn’t happen and we continued to fall in love knowing it was wrong but I was in love and I guess selfish.

He told me he loved me and was going to leave her but wanted to make sure she would be ok. Because I loved him/ stupid I supported every early decision he made to stay with her, so he could be at the birth, make sure the house was ready etc etc. It was painful but my focus has always been the infinitive ending. He made some sacrifices throughout the pregnancy, told her he wasn’t happy, didn’t go away on holiday with her and her family because he needed space to think ( he planned out the perfect breakup)

The baby was born and he found a new love as I expected, I’m 25 who would want to be a step mom to someone else’s child unless they were in love. He still assured me it was me he wanted to be with, always treated me like a princess took me away for 5 days. Made promises.

Every time we got to the next deadline of him leaving another excuse would come up of why he couldn’t leave, we argued, he lied I believed, i waited for the next deadline. And so on.

18 months down the line and the baby is now 9 months old, it’s June. In February he told me he had finically broken up with her but need to continue to live with her to support her financially. Showed me ‘fake proof’. Some lies I have caught out and he’s response is I don’t want to loose you if I tell you the truth I will. The new deadline was May when she went back to work and coming up to May it then changed to July. I was hurt I have tried to call things off plenty of times knowing I don’t deserve to be messed around, how can he love me if he’s doing this etc. Blocked him on every social media. But then started to receive emails. We work together which made it difficult to avoid each other but like the idiot I am I forgave him still having my eyes on the future. He made me so happy I was desperate for that feeling again. He was the person I wanted to marry, do every with my best friend. We spoke all day everyday it was hard to believe she didn’t know about me. He had met my family spend most days with me took me to plays and weekends away. The kindest person which is why I loved him.

They had sold there house he told me it was because they’d broken up her and the baby were moving back with her mom and he would rent somewhere with me, we had arranged some time off to view places and he had been sending me links. I went away last minute and he took the opportunity to go away with her behind my back.
, like most woman I stalked her Facebook and saw a new post quoting ‘ lovely break first as a family of three’ my heart dropped I felt sick. I confronted him he replied with I don’t know what I was thinking I want to be with you. He has always said it’s the baby it’s always you, the baby, you back to the baby never her.

In my rage, pain. Thought process of this is the last time he is hurting me I told her. She had no idea about anything. He hadn’t broke up with her. In his anger he told me he never loved me, he never wanted to be with me and blocked me on everything. It’s been two weeks. He’s lied to his girlfriend about what I meant to him and she has taken him back in less that 6 days. Leaving me absolutely heartbroken. I have to leave my job because I can not bare to face him . The girlfriend is almost gloating on her social media that he chose her. He owes me everything and I feel like I’ve lost my world. It was all lies but I believe his feeling towards me were real. If I hadn’t of seen her Facebook we would still be talking now waiting for the house sale to finalise.. and then what would he of done was everything a lie? Does he truely love her, will they last? Is it all because of the baby? I keep waiting for him to realise and turn up at my door 💔

You won't get any support on here

You're clearly a woman/girl of zero morals and selfish beyond belief and if I thought the post wouldn't be removed I'd be using much stronger words to describe you

Keep your knees together next time and don't go after men in relationships

Who goes on a parenting site and asks for support for being the ow because the their bf has dumped them to stay with their partner and baby you were shagging someone's partner whilst they were pregnant disgusting behaviour

When reading these threads I always wonder if the real partner has also posted about being suspicious over her DPs behaviour and/or finding out about the OW.. sad world we live in and it only takes looking through relationships to see how common it is

Both as bad as each other. Both with a moral compass set at zero. You chose the path you walked knowing the situation so please don’t come on here looking for empathy and understanding.

@downsouth20 she shouldn't have got involved with him in the first place, should she? She clearly didn't care about the lies she was helping him feed his pregnant partner.

What would you do downsouth if you were the unfortunate girlfriend/wife? Clearly you haven't got a fucking clue how it feels to be on the receiving end of it. Of course he's too blame as well but vile men like this think with their dicks not their brain. The majority of women I know are decent and wouldn't go near someone in a relationship, especially if their partner was pregnant. I really hope that poor girl is alright. Our sympathy should be with her not the pathetic poster

Hope his wife comes for you.
Because she will

Well here's the thing. Be the first choice. The number one. Not the shag. Have some self respect. By definition this man is worth less than zero.

And just hope no other woman treats you the way you have when you are pregnant.

Some women on here seem to think that other women get a pass to be an absolute shit if being lied to by a smooth talking bloke, they certainly don’t in my book if they know the score, they deserve everything coming to them . Yes the bloke is a cunt , but the other woman is enabling him to be so, why such poor expectations for themselves? Went out with 2 woman a few months ago, one I hadn’t met before and she was happily going on about a guy she was seeing who lived away but was married with a kid, she was in her40s and made light of it, I was really shocked, instantly Unfriended her too on FB

He kept telling you what you wanted to hear in order to get what he wanted which was sex and a bit of attention.
You sent his gf the message he sent you. You did this because you wanted to force a change. Do you think she was happy to find out about you?
She is with a man who cheated on her when she was pregnant and after having a small baby. I can't imagine how she felt finding this out about him.
He has ended things with you because you were just their for sex.
The truth is you knew he was in relationship. Once he told you his gf was pregnant you should have ended things with him. Instead you stayed with him and are now upset because he won't pick you over his gf and baby.
You where with a man who just used you. Learn from this and don't get involved with men who are in relationships especially when babies/kids are involved.

Well more fool his GF... for taking him back. Having said that...you don't know how she really feels. No sane woman will be happy their BF is a cheater...especially while pregnant and with a baby. She's devastated.

You need to focus on yourself and act like he doesn't exist. Don't quit your job until you get another one.

I feel sorry for his GF... she's the one who was innocent in
all this.

For you...it's a lesson. We learn from such things.

What’s the meaning of love ?? And what value does it have??

Would true love force a woman to stoop down in her standards of a healthy relationship to obtain it?? Would she have to accept being someone’s casual sex to hold on to it??

Op... if you had told the guy, I refrain from being in a relationship with you until you decide what you want to do about your girlfriend because I don’t accept being someone’s number 2... then i wouldn’t necessarily paint you as a knight but I wouldn’t blame you... you would at least have displayed some self respect.

You believed you needed to do a pick me dance... sell your morals... stoop down with your dignity... accept to share someone... and accept that this someone you are sharing is deceiving a person who is vulnerable carrying his child and had no fault in all this... ALL so you can earn his love.

What sort of love does he have to offer, that you were willing to do all this to yourself ??? And to two other innocent people ?

He didn’t love you because you don’t love yourself.. and even if he thought he did, his love would’ve been the uncaring entitled non compromising kind because that’s what you are after anyway..

My hope is he learnt what true love means from his new baby. And he learnt to appreciate the mother of his child when he saw how much she went through for her family.

As for you, you need to learn what true love is.,, by making sure you first find inner peace ... and second by realising that no true love would expect you to stoop down with morals and dignity and needs to be with them..,

They don’t go be with 2 woman , one dancing for him to pick her and one meeting his daily needs and mothering his kids... while you stand there watching waiting for crumbs.

Someone worthy of love is someone who treats the other half with the same standards he treats himself... and understands they have the same dignity they would expect for themselves..

How would your presumed MR right be feeling if you also had a boyfriend on the side during the time he was with his wife ??

You didn’t think this through because you didn’t want to..

You didn’t want to because you desperately wanted any type of love and attention... didn’t want the distraction of logic.

True love doesn’t expect you to be blind. Because True love is there to satisfy your needs, which your logic is fully aware of. So there should never be such a clash.

What’s the meaning of LOVE op??

Ha! OP hasn't come back.
Yes OP hang your head in shame.

I just don’t think it’s fair to always blame the other women. I was in fact cheated on by my ex when I was pregnant (I ended up miscarrying) and I personally wasn’t mad at her as I had seen some of the conversations and my god did he paint a completely different picture even to the extent of saying he brought the house we live, my car and financed my business ( I own both and he never put a penny into my business) and that he tried to leave me but I begged him to stay! So to her he was unhappy in his relationship and she fell for him thinking she was almost saving him from ME!

Unless it was a friend cheating with my partner I just personally feel the partner is one who made a commitment to me and should honour and respect that not a stranger who also being lied to she doesn’t owe me anything.

I’m not saying she is in the right at all but just some nasty comments that I don’t think are called for! She is also hurt the only one who was at a win win is the scumbag man but OP only thing you can do it take it as a lesson we all have to learn somehow.

She is hurt through her own actions.

It's not all her fault. But the fact that she is now hurting, is the consquences of her own behaviour.

That's why I, personally, have no sympathy for her.

@downsouth20 .

I generally agree with you but reading this post she went in with her eyes wide open. Yes I w sure he lied many times but her general attitude to his wife and the entitlement she has no sympathy from me.

She obviously isn’t the only one to blame. But my sympathies aren’t with her

The sheer cruelty of this He made some sacrifices throughout the pregnancy, told her he wasn’t happy, didn’t go away on holiday with her and her family because he needed space to think ( he planned out the perfect breakup) His poor partner.

He's a dick. You've had a lucky escape. The other woman is now tied to him for life and will struggle a lot with trust, paranoia, and all sorts of horrible messy crap that comes with staying with a cheat. She learned that she was betrayed and let down at the most vulnerable time in her life. That's foul! No one deserves that.

You're the actual winner here. You'll feel better in time and probably meet someone nicer.

As others have said, you're suffering the consequences of your actions, and rightly so. You need understand what you did was wrong and you need to learn from it.

Good luck!

Leave it alone and learn from your mistake.

You've been very naive here, and i get the distinct impression that you havent learned the lesson that this was supposed to teach you.

What exactly has she "won" a cheat who lies, cant keep his cock in his trousers and makes a mockery of her.....prize of the century that one!

The fact that you see it as some sort of competition and are still hankering after the loser is frankly worrying.

Well if you play with fire you will get burnt 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ahh.. That's unusual..

'I don't really love my wife. I'm going to leave her'

Is usually such a great start to a relationship.

If he can be this duplicitous to his LTR (wife?) and mother of his child just think how much of a fool he thinks you are.

I'm not sure why you were surprised?

It's pretty clear from his actions he never had any intention of leaving her.

It's also clear that their relationship is strong enough to survive his mistake.

Pick yourself up and move on. Try to find a man without a partner and baby next time...

Sounds like the OP got what they deserved. Good.
Great story though! Made an entertaining read.

Also not surprised she hasn't been back to respond. Is hopefully feeling a tad embarrassed after putting it all in writing.

Oh dear op, are you really sad? As sad as his wife would have been if he'd chosen you?

You chose a man who you absolutely knew was capable of cheating on his pregnant wife, and of lying to her very convincingly. Surely you're not surprised that he was also capable of lying to you? That's what liars do.

Keep some dignity, move on and make better choices next time.

She's daft to forgive him as he will certainly do it again, and don't believe the rosy pictures on fb. She will be devastated, and they'll be putting each other through hell.