Other woman of a 18month affair

[Onimod24]

I met a guy, I knew he had a girlfriend of 3 years at the time but the occasional text I thought meant nothing, we started to get feelings for each other we worked together so went for a drink after a meeting and kissed. We never thought anything would come of this at the time and just enjoyed each other’s friendship and company. About just over a month in we found out the girlfriend was pregnant. We both agreed to stop talking and agreed ‘right person wrong time’. This didn’t happen and we continued to fall in love knowing it was wrong but I was in love and I guess selfish.

He told me he loved me and was going to leave her but wanted to make sure she would be ok. Because I loved him/ stupid I supported every early decision he made to stay with her, so he could be at the birth, make sure the house was ready etc etc. It was painful but my focus has always been the infinitive ending. He made some sacrifices throughout the pregnancy, told her he wasn’t happy, didn’t go away on holiday with her and her family because he needed space to think ( he planned out the perfect breakup)

The baby was born and he found a new love as I expected, I’m 25 who would want to be a step mom to someone else’s child unless they were in love. He still assured me it was me he wanted to be with, always treated me like a princess took me away for 5 days. Made promises.

Every time we got to the next deadline of him leaving another excuse would come up of why he couldn’t leave, we argued, he lied I believed, i waited for the next deadline. And so on.

18 months down the line and the baby is now 9 months old, it’s June. In February he told me he had finically broken up with her but need to continue to live with her to support her financially. Showed me ‘fake proof’. Some lies I have caught out and he’s response is I don’t want to loose you if I tell you the truth I will. The new deadline was May when she went back to work and coming up to May it then changed to July. I was hurt I have tried to call things off plenty of times knowing I don’t deserve to be messed around, how can he love me if he’s doing this etc. Blocked him on every social media. But then started to receive emails. We work together which made it difficult to avoid each other but like the idiot I am I forgave him still having my eyes on the future. He made me so happy I was desperate for that feeling again. He was the person I wanted to marry, do every with my best friend. We spoke all day everyday it was hard to believe she didn’t know about me. He had met my family spend most days with me took me to plays and weekends away. The kindest person which is why I loved him.

They had sold there house he told me it was because they’d broken up her and the baby were moving back with her mom and he would rent somewhere with me, we had arranged some time off to view places and he had been sending me links. I went away last minute and he took the opportunity to go away with her behind my back.
, like most woman I stalked her Facebook and saw a new post quoting ‘ lovely break first as a family of three’ my heart dropped I felt sick. I confronted him he replied with I don’t know what I was thinking I want to be with you. He has always said it’s the baby it’s always you, the baby, you back to the baby never her.

In my rage, pain. Thought process of this is the last time he is hurting me I told her. She had no idea about anything. He hadn’t broke up with her. In his anger he told me he never loved me, he never wanted to be with me and blocked me on everything. It’s been two weeks. He’s lied to his girlfriend about what I meant to him and she has taken him back in less that 6 days. Leaving me absolutely heartbroken. I have to leave my job because I can not bare to face him . The girlfriend is almost gloating on her social media that he chose her. He owes me everything and I feel like I’ve lost my world. It was all lies but I believe his feeling towards me were real. If I hadn’t of seen her Facebook we would still be talking now waiting for the house sale to finalise.. and then what would he of done was everything a lie? Does he truely love her, will they last? Is it all because of the baby? I keep waiting for him to realise and turn up at my door 💔

He doesn't love her.

Hopefully she will see this, throw his skanky arse out and find a decent man who treats her with honesty and respect.

He will then come slinking back to you, not because you were his choice but because he doesn't have anything better. In a year (if you are lucky) you will be oblivious to the fact that he is lining up his next target.

What did you expect getting with a man you knew was lying to and cheating on his pregnant girlfriend? You got just what she did. Treated like shit. The only difference is his girlfriend didn't deserve it.

You sound like a 16 year old tbh. Be glad you've got rid of him and maybe try someone single next time 🤷🏼‍♀️

I feel so sorry for his GF. It'll be so shitty for her trying to carry on and rebuild things and will likely affect her ability to ever be able to trust in a relationship ever again. It's an awful thing when that happens.

For your own sake, I would try as much as you can to learn from what's happened. A lot of us have low self esteem for all sorts of reasons, especially when we're younger (don't mean that to sound patronising, but I think there's truth in it). Men like this seem to have a radar for women with low self esteem and use it to manipulate them. Establish for yourself as a basic standard that you won't go near someone if there's even a whiff of them being in a relationship with someone else. No, "it's been off and on with her", "we live like brother and sister now", etc.... RUN from these bullshitters. Learn to trust your gut feelings more. I bet you knew at some level that the GF didn't know anything at all until you told her. Try and see the positives: you're free now to meet someone single and decent; you only wasted a relatively short amount of your life with this arse-clown; and you won't make this same mistake again.

As someone who found out their boyfriend was married and playing us both, I have zero sympathy for you. You believed his bull shit and knew he was still going home to her. He deserves his knob to fall off and you deserve better than what you've let yourself be!

I think that the women on this page who find it so easy to judge so viciously most be wonderful paragons of virtue who have never said or done anything wrong in their lives.

I’ve done plenty wrong. I’ve never fucked someone else’s partner, told the new mother of his child I’d done so, and still made out I was somehow the wronged party.

Honestly you had it coming when you decided to pursue a relationship with a man who was already in a relationship. I have zero sympathy.

Oh dear.
Wise up, hunny, or men are going to take advantage of your naivety. Or maybe simply your lack of morals.

Worlds smallest violin for you OP, zero sympathy for you on any of this.

Take your oil OP.
And if you're for real please dig deep for your morals.
Zero sympathy from a grown up here

Also OP your post title refers to the other woman. Presumably you are talking about you.

You're certainly not the first woman to do this, but you do, my dear, win the award for being the most cheeky fucker about it.

Look down to the floor.
See your self respect!!????
Now pick it up and learn a valuable lesson here.
Do NOT ever get involved with someone in a relationship again.
Find your own man if you really want one.
Move forward with your life.
This guy is a lying, cheating scumbag.
She has certainly won the prize. The booby prize!!!!!
He will always be a cheat.

You were cheap and easy. You cant blame him for that. You deserve where you have been left now. Utter truth to do this to that innocent woman and child.

Move on OP. If he were with you eventually, he would still find another woman. He has played you both. If she is mug enough to take him back, let her have that prize

6 months down the line, you'll wonder why you wasted so much time waiting for him. He's disgusting

and the moral of the story is......do not EVER get involved with someone who is already in a committed relationship. Respect yourself and have some respect for the partner he has committed to and the child he is having with her. You have learnt the hard way but also had a narrow escape. A man who would cheat on a pregnant partner will cheat again and the next time it would have been you getting the knock on the door from the OW.

No sympathy from me either, this is just yet another story of affairs,and silly people,who don't sound very mature. Hope the baby is doing well though.

I know this now - how you get them is how you lose them. Even if you 'ended up' together you wouldn't be enough for him. He'd cheat on you. Now that you're gone he'll find someone new

Stupid fucking girl. Daft and young without a clue or a thought for anyone else. What was so difficult for you to understand- he was in a relationship clearly so you should have backed off! I hope one day you're the wife or girlfriend and you find out how it feels from the other side too - then you'll get exactly what you derserve. My stbxh lied about another women for months and made out to everyone I was the crazy one! I only hope one day she gets what she derserves as well (him too!)

25 is not young, she’s not a ‘girl’ and actively made deliberate choices over a year and a half to shag this filthy specimen, so not a ‘mistake’ either. No justification for her, or her dirty dicked lover’s vile choices 😷

Sorry that some people are being so mean to you on here probably not the best place ask for advice about being the OW tbh.

He lied to you and made you believe he was going to leave and wasn’t happy and when we are in love we are in-fact blind and stupid a want to believe everything the person we love says.

He tried to wreck his own home by wanting his cake and eating it! He may have had feelings for you but if he could do this to his pregnant girlfriend he would have done this to you. You had a lucky escape 😉 pick yourself up dust yourself off you’ve learned a great lesson in life and move on.

She didn’t build a life with someone to wreck in the first place it was his life his wrong doing! His life his lies why does everyone get angry at the OW when she was also being fed lies?! The blame for a cheating man is always himself not the other woman 🙄!

I went away last minute and he took the opportunity to go away with her behind my back.

Behind YOUR back?!
Are you feeling ok OP?
For the past 18 months his poor DP has had the wool pulled over her eyes whilst carrying his child, giving birth and thinking she has the perfect family unit but you're the one outraged.

You aren't the victim here so stop acting like one.

True downsouth but the OP was fully aware of the girlfriend and colluded with the cunt in pulling the wool over her eyes. The gf's memories of being pregnant, what should've been a happy time, are ruined and tarnished. She will look back on that precious time and feel almost lethal pain at the thought of the betrayal and the invasion of another woman.

**The blame for a cheating man is always himself not the other woman 🙄!

Always? Really? Yes he’s fully to blame but to say she’s entirely blameless is ridiculous. She’s been aware he was in a relationship from the get go. She knew his partner was pregnant, knew she’d given birth. The ow in this scenario is fully complicit in the deceit. No two ways about that.

His life his lies why does everyone get angry at the OW when she was also being fed lies?! The blame for a cheating man is always himself not the other woman

She's getting a flaming because she's the one posting on here trying to pain herself as a victim, not him. Do you honestly believe a cheating man would get a warm reception?

The OP wasn't fed lies at the beginning. She made the choice to continue seeing him because she did not care that he was in a relationship. After that, even if she was silly enough to believe that he was only staying because the girlfriend was pregnant, her behaviour was still poor. She willingly went along with it, continued to see him while his poor pregnant girlfriend was completely in the dark and unable to make informed choices about her own life and future. She hoped that one day he would drop the girlfriend who'd just had his baby and didn't care about how the girlfriend may feel about being left in those circumstances or whether she'd be able to cope. I find this rush to infantalise women and absolve them of all moral responsibility on threads like this tedious. Surely if you hold the opinion that we don't owe other people the decency and kindness to not knowingly engage in relationships with their partners the bar on how you feel other people should treat each other is pretty low. So why hold strangers on the internet commenting on what is (for some) a highly emotive topic to a higher moral standard than the person who has willingly colluded in massively fucking up another woman's life?