Other woman of a 18month affair

[Onimod24]

I met a guy, I knew he had a girlfriend of 3 years at the time but the occasional text I thought meant nothing, we started to get feelings for each other we worked together so went for a drink after a meeting and kissed. We never thought anything would come of this at the time and just enjoyed each other’s friendship and company. About just over a month in we found out the girlfriend was pregnant. We both agreed to stop talking and agreed ‘right person wrong time’. This didn’t happen and we continued to fall in love knowing it was wrong but I was in love and I guess selfish.

He told me he loved me and was going to leave her but wanted to make sure she would be ok. Because I loved him/ stupid I supported every early decision he made to stay with her, so he could be at the birth, make sure the house was ready etc etc. It was painful but my focus has always been the infinitive ending. He made some sacrifices throughout the pregnancy, told her he wasn’t happy, didn’t go away on holiday with her and her family because he needed space to think ( he planned out the perfect breakup)

The baby was born and he found a new love as I expected, I’m 25 who would want to be a step mom to someone else’s child unless they were in love. He still assured me it was me he wanted to be with, always treated me like a princess took me away for 5 days. Made promises.

Every time we got to the next deadline of him leaving another excuse would come up of why he couldn’t leave, we argued, he lied I believed, i waited for the next deadline. And so on.

18 months down the line and the baby is now 9 months old, it’s June. In February he told me he had finically broken up with her but need to continue to live with her to support her financially. Showed me ‘fake proof’. Some lies I have caught out and he’s response is I don’t want to loose you if I tell you the truth I will. The new deadline was May when she went back to work and coming up to May it then changed to July. I was hurt I have tried to call things off plenty of times knowing I don’t deserve to be messed around, how can he love me if he’s doing this etc. Blocked him on every social media. But then started to receive emails. We work together which made it difficult to avoid each other but like the idiot I am I forgave him still having my eyes on the future. He made me so happy I was desperate for that feeling again. He was the person I wanted to marry, do every with my best friend. We spoke all day everyday it was hard to believe she didn’t know about me. He had met my family spend most days with me took me to plays and weekends away. The kindest person which is why I loved him.

They had sold there house he told me it was because they’d broken up her and the baby were moving back with her mom and he would rent somewhere with me, we had arranged some time off to view places and he had been sending me links. I went away last minute and he took the opportunity to go away with her behind my back.
, like most woman I stalked her Facebook and saw a new post quoting ‘ lovely break first as a family of three’ my heart dropped I felt sick. I confronted him he replied with I don’t know what I was thinking I want to be with you. He has always said it’s the baby it’s always you, the baby, you back to the baby never her.

In my rage, pain. Thought process of this is the last time he is hurting me I told her. She had no idea about anything. He hadn’t broke up with her. In his anger he told me he never loved me, he never wanted to be with me and blocked me on everything. It’s been two weeks. He’s lied to his girlfriend about what I meant to him and she has taken him back in less that 6 days. Leaving me absolutely heartbroken. I have to leave my job because I can not bare to face him . The girlfriend is almost gloating on her social media that he chose her. He owes me everything and I feel like I’ve lost my world. It was all lies but I believe his feeling towards me were real. If I hadn’t of seen her Facebook we would still be talking now waiting for the house sale to finalise.. and then what would he of done was everything a lie? Does he truely love her, will they last? Is it all because of the baby? I keep waiting for him to realise and turn up at my door 💔

Ooh poor you.

You started seeing a man in a relationship, continues seeing him when she became pregnant, continued seeing him when he kept staying.

You them told her, to force his hand. Dont pretend it was for her or anything. You wanted her to finish it with him, so he would have to choose you.

He actually owes you nothing. It was never a proper relationship. You knew this buy carried on anyway. I suspect because you didnt want to lose the game.

You both behaved like a pair of cunts and been burned.

Doesnt matter why she took him back or why so quickly or why he is back with her.

He has made it clear. You were nothing more than a shag. He had to keep making promises so he could get in your knickers and you allowed it.

You are both as bad as eachother. And even if he had of picked you. It would have been shit. You would never have trusted him.

Maybe Ginger - and HE caused ALL of it.

These threads always go the same way. Always. Catnip to some posters and that, I don't understand. When I was cheated on nothing would have induced me to pounce on a thread like this, it's hardly therapy.

Slating a woman who has made poor choices isn't going to achieve a thing.

In his anger he told me he never loved me, he never wanted to be with me and blocked me on everything.

It wasn't in anger. It was the truth from the start. he was playing you and you still want to play the innocent!

I always see the men as responsible as they are the one tied in a relationship. He has essentially been having his cake and eating it .

I have no sympathy for you . Not once have you considered this woman or her baby. You knew from the start she was unavailable.

A man who cheats on his wife is not the kindest man at all , he is a selfish prick ,

whilst side-stepping the fact that HE did this. Him. He caused you and her the pain and it wasn't necessary.

OP and He did this.

She was fully aware of the situation

Don't get posters saying she's totally innocent and it's all the cheating oh. It's not a one or the other situation. He's a cheating pig, obviously!! But the op and those like her, who know full well they are the strumpet on the side, particularly where children are involved, need to accept they should have said no from the beginning.

Expecting a low life to leave his partner who has just had a baby, both of who need him, is a dummy way to live your life.
Part of me wants to wish it on you in the future as my blood is boiling that you woukd come on here and expect sympathy, and part of me wants to say run like hell and reassess your own moral code and self worth before you repeat this all over again with someone else.

This man is not for you.

You have been taken for a ride.

What age are you?

OP, you have already been told countless times on here that you have brought this on yourself. Do you really want to be with a man you know is capable of behaving like this? It would forever be in the back of your mind and you would be constantly looking over your shoulder. And these men never change. It is nothing to do with the women they are in a relationship with, they literally cannot control themselves. You are only 25, move on and find someone who will treat you with respect.

Diddums

Get a fucking grip, some self respect, and be glad you didn’t have a baby with this fucker.

You’re 25 fgs stop moping around and find someone who’s actually free to have a relationship with you.

The baby is innocent. Even allowing for the messing about behind the girlfriend’s back early on, did you not feel a moral duty to break it off when she became pregnant? You made many decisions along the way, the only right decision (the one you didn’t make) was to get out of this ASAP. You have been taught a lesson. Learn it while you’re young and be glad it didn’t drag on for wasted years.

Karma gotcha.
You won’t find much sympathy on here OP. Trying to break up someone else’s relationship, esp with a baby involved is a dick move.

While he’s an ass for cheating you are also to blame for your own pain...

I don’t get why people need to cheat, if you don’t want to be with the person you’re with anymore (I don’t care if she’s pregnant or not) you break up with her and go to the next person you do want. You don’t make promises to the other girl for 18 months and sleeping with her and telling her lies and staying with the girl you were already with...

By the time she found out they had been together 4.5ish years.. (you said it all started when they were together for 3), then she had a baby and her life changed... she found out he had cheated on her but you don’t know what has been said and done behind closed doors between them which is why you don’t know why she took him back only 6 days after..

You say you’re 25 but why do you want to be with someone that cheated on his girlfriend with you?? You will never be able to trust him completely, go out find a good guy have fun live your life marry him and live a life without this cheating ass... but don’t for a second forget what you have tried to do to them... (wreck a family in case you couldn’t think of it yourself).

And here we have, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys ....

the ETERNAL STUPIDITY of women

Reading a novel about King John at the moment:

"As you say, Reverend Father, a common tale and likely to remain so as long as there be born men with glib tongues and silly chits willing to pay them heed".

You got exactly what you deserved, you went after a man with a partner, you still went with him after you knew she was pregnant, you then tried to force his hand by blowing her world apart by telling her at her most vulnerable time after shes had a baby. Yep you deserve it, lifes a bitch, karmas a bitch and so are you. Vile

Dear OP, you are young, and so in some ways you are lucky. You have learned early on that when you get into a relationship with someone willing to cheat in their partner, you are getting into a relationship with someone willing to cheat on their partner.

These people are never moral paragons. They are shitbags.

You've seen that now. Try to look at the time you wasted as the price for learning an important lesson. Never have anything to do with a shitbag in future unless you want this to happen again.

You deserve everything you get, sorry
He didnt go with her behind your back that's his girlfriend before he even knew you existed.

You sound desperate, please move on.

"As you say, Reverend Father, a common tale and likely to remain so as long as there be born men with glib tongues and silly chits willing to pay them heed"

Love it!!

He doesn’t love you and he never did. Also, you deserve all this. I hope you take time to reflect as become a better person. He won’t, he’s a lost cause. He probably has the next naive fool lined up.

You’re a fool

He was never going to leave her

He just wanted to have his cake and eat it too

You were the bit on the side where he could have a quickie when his gf didn’t want to.

Forget about him and find someone else. This time make sure that someone else doesn’t already have a partner

Dirty skanks deserve each other 😤.

You were an ego boost, a time passer at work, a shag.

You should have known he was a liar from the off because he was lying to the mother of his child too.

Move on and find someone who’s not with someone else next time.

The stupidity is in believing in 'karma'. What of his karma then? What did the baby do to deserve such a shit for a father?

OP is completely in the wrong for her part, nobody's saying differently, but the gratuitous spite against her is just ridiculous. Posters are falling over themselves to castigate and attack her - and express the mildest annoyance at him as as to be 'fair'. Pathetic and really unpleasant but par for the course.

OP, I would hide the thread, there's nothing for you here. I hope you've blocked and deleted him - and don't forget. Never accept him back and don't allow anybody to make you complicit in anything like this again.

You're an idiot.

Why are you so keen to break up a family?
She has chosen to try and forgive- that is her choice. Leave them alone. You are the other woman, he was never going to leave her.
Move on, maybe next time choose someone that isn't in a relationship.
Oh and I don't buy all the 'it wasn't intentional' bullshit. You both made active decisions to pursue each other.

Honestly how often do we need to read these threads where THIS affair is different because THIS cheating husband isn’t a scumbag and really is leaving. And THIS other woman is ok to act immorally because it’s loooooooove.

Grow the fuck up.

Don’t fuck people in relationships.

Stop talking like you’re in a bad Mills & Boon novel.

There’s my advice.

And sorry but “I deserve better”?

Nah, you don’t.