Other woman of a 18month affair

[Onimod24]

I met a guy, I knew he had a girlfriend of 3 years at the time but the occasional text I thought meant nothing, we started to get feelings for each other we worked together so went for a drink after a meeting and kissed. We never thought anything would come of this at the time and just enjoyed each other’s friendship and company. About just over a month in we found out the girlfriend was pregnant. We both agreed to stop talking and agreed ‘right person wrong time’. This didn’t happen and we continued to fall in love knowing it was wrong but I was in love and I guess selfish.

He told me he loved me and was going to leave her but wanted to make sure she would be ok. Because I loved him/ stupid I supported every early decision he made to stay with her, so he could be at the birth, make sure the house was ready etc etc. It was painful but my focus has always been the infinitive ending. He made some sacrifices throughout the pregnancy, told her he wasn’t happy, didn’t go away on holiday with her and her family because he needed space to think ( he planned out the perfect breakup)

The baby was born and he found a new love as I expected, I’m 25 who would want to be a step mom to someone else’s child unless they were in love. He still assured me it was me he wanted to be with, always treated me like a princess took me away for 5 days. Made promises.

Every time we got to the next deadline of him leaving another excuse would come up of why he couldn’t leave, we argued, he lied I believed, i waited for the next deadline. And so on.

18 months down the line and the baby is now 9 months old, it’s June. In February he told me he had finically broken up with her but need to continue to live with her to support her financially. Showed me ‘fake proof’. Some lies I have caught out and he’s response is I don’t want to loose you if I tell you the truth I will. The new deadline was May when she went back to work and coming up to May it then changed to July. I was hurt I have tried to call things off plenty of times knowing I don’t deserve to be messed around, how can he love me if he’s doing this etc. Blocked him on every social media. But then started to receive emails. We work together which made it difficult to avoid each other but like the idiot I am I forgave him still having my eyes on the future. He made me so happy I was desperate for that feeling again. He was the person I wanted to marry, do every with my best friend. We spoke all day everyday it was hard to believe she didn’t know about me. He had met my family spend most days with me took me to plays and weekends away. The kindest person which is why I loved him.

They had sold there house he told me it was because they’d broken up her and the baby were moving back with her mom and he would rent somewhere with me, we had arranged some time off to view places and he had been sending me links. I went away last minute and he took the opportunity to go away with her behind my back.
, like most woman I stalked her Facebook and saw a new post quoting ‘ lovely break first as a family of three’ my heart dropped I felt sick. I confronted him he replied with I don’t know what I was thinking I want to be with you. He has always said it’s the baby it’s always you, the baby, you back to the baby never her.

In my rage, pain. Thought process of this is the last time he is hurting me I told her. She had no idea about anything. He hadn’t broke up with her. In his anger he told me he never loved me, he never wanted to be with me and blocked me on everything. It’s been two weeks. He’s lied to his girlfriend about what I meant to him and she has taken him back in less that 6 days. Leaving me absolutely heartbroken. I have to leave my job because I can not bare to face him . The girlfriend is almost gloating on her social media that he chose her. He owes me everything and I feel like I’ve lost my world. It was all lies but I believe his feeling towards me were real. If I hadn’t of seen her Facebook we would still be talking now waiting for the house sale to finalise.. and then what would he of done was everything a lie? Does he truely love her, will they last? Is it all because of the baby? I keep waiting for him to realise and turn up at my door 💔

You made his job a bit more fun, that’s it OP, he may well like you a lot, he may think you were a great ego boost but proper love doesn’t come into it. I won’t say he doesn’t love his gf, he may well do , he may not, but he likes that little bit extra going on too and certainly didn’t love you enough to dump his gf and baby, although if I was her I would be dumping his arse to be honest. He isn’t a kind man, try and imagine the shoe was on the other foot and you were the pregnant gf, how do you think you would feel. Please stick to single guys. He is a shit, but you played along with it

Oh dear. It's a bit mills and boon op. You're not star crossed lovers. You were a young gullible and foolish woman and he was enjoying his cake whilst eating it.

It was never destined for greatness. Move on, get some therapy and a healthy dose of self esteem.

Stop talking like you’re in a bad Mills & Boon novel

Spot on.

You’re deluded to think he loved you. You were a hole to him

😂

I don’t deserve to be messed around
Why not? Does his partner?

So this man started a relationship with you while his girlfriend was pregnant.

And you thought this was a good thing.

Right.

@Proteinshakesandtears well said!

@Onimod24

What does putting vaseline on your face do?

Might give it a go if it's going to keep my youthful good looks a while longer!!

@EatenByDinosaurs
Sorry, vaseline before bed question was for you!

It changed to op's name for some reason!!

What an absolute cunt he is 😡😡😡

It's probably good that she found out what's been going on but I'm stunned that she's taken him back! Im sure she's not gloating, she's probably trying to rebuild her life and put on a brave face. she deserves so so much better.

You need to move on. This man never loved you. He's a liar and a cheat. He's been lying to you both. He's a player. He has a child and even that hasn't made a decent man of him. Why would you want to be with someone like that anyway?

You're both scummy and you both deserve each other. No integreity or decency, either of you

You said “I don’t deserve to be messed around with”.

I beg your pardon, you are with a man messing around with his wife who is pregnant and having a baby... you expected him to mess around with her..

So... why shouldn’t the same happen to you?

You deserved what you got. Now grow up and don’t mess with people so karma doesn’t hit your arse.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe "OP is completely in the wrong for her part, nobody's saying differently, but the gratuitous spite against her is just ridiculous. Posters are falling over themselves to castigate and attack her - and express the mildest annoyance at him as as to be 'fair'. Pathetic and really unpleasant but par for the course."

are you sure? Because I think it is accepted that men - who don't actually like women much, who attach shallowly, who see other people as playthings, who are quite happy to use other people - are vile.

What we are furious about is the stupidity of women who 1. allow themselves to be manipulated and used by these misogynists 2. HELP HIM cause such pain to other women.

That is why she is getting a pasting IMO. My ex said to me: if it wasn't her, it would have been somebody else.
And in that utterly vile (but truthful) comment lies a lot of information.

@DoYouThinkHeLikesMe I read about it a while ago on a reddit sub and eventually plucked up the courage try it (worried I'd turn into a gigantic walking zit) and its amazing, I've been doing it for quite a while now and my skin is now perfectly clear and even toned, and stays that way all day, I never get any spots any more and my skin looks much younger and fresher too.
AND I promise I don't have shares in Vaseline
I put in on over the top of my moisturiser last thing before bed and it sort of seals the moisturiser in and makes it work better. Downside is you look a tad slug like at night

I mentioned it on a what things do you wish you'd done sooner in Style and Beauty, and others have had great results too. There's a thread about it running at the minute here...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/3602246-Vaseline-on-face-before-bed

You probably feel terrible right now and I think you just have to chalk it up to experience and let time heal you. A man who can cheat on his pregnant girlfriend is hardly a catch and it ended probably rather predictably.

Aw wee sin for you.

I doubt the OP is coming back now. If this was even a genuine post.

@EatenByDinosaurs

Thanks! I'm going to read that thread and give it a go.

I started oil cleansing a few years ago and it worked wonders - often get mistaken for younger than I am.

Will def give it a go.

Thought process of this is the last time he is hurting me I told her.

Actually this was a good thing to do because she deserved to know and it forced the end of the affair. Deep down you knew full well he'd choose his child and the mother of his child over you.

It's a good thing you did this though otherwise, you'd still be being strung along and would be 45, still a mistress very bitter and having lost your chance for a family of your own.

She had no idea about anything. He hadn’t broke up with her.

You weren't really surprised by this were you? You suspected all along which was why you told her.

In his anger he told me he never loved me, he never wanted to be with me and blocked me on everything

I think you can delete "in his anger" from the first part of this sentence. People who love each other and want to be together make it happen. People do walk out on families to be with their lover every day. It's shitty behaviour but shitty selfish people behave in a shitty selfish way. He could have left her to be with you if he wanted to. He just didn't want to.

He was getting sex and adoration from you for no investment. It's hard when you feel you truly love someone but this wasn't a love story. He was getting everything from you and giving you nothing in return except hot air and the odd fuck.

He won't come back to you. He's likely to cheat on her again with others again and again.

Lick your wounds, embrace your enforced no contact and try to move on.

@DoYouThinkHeLikesMe you're welcome . I was also amazed at the difference from oil cleansing, although I'm currently using up some black mud There's an awful lot about skincare I wish I'd known about years ago.

He treated you like a princess , you say ...well, you're not and should be expected to be treated like an equal .

No sympathy here - you've got exactly what you deserve.
For god's sake stay away from men in relationships, and certainly ones where there's an innocent baby involved.
Where are your morals girl?

Disgusting selfish behaviour will get you absolutely nowhere or let's face it, where you are at right now.
I hope you have the intelligence to learn from this.

GOOD

He owes me everything and I feel like I’ve lost my world

I'm sorry but he owes you nothing, you knowingly got involved with someone who was in a relationship and carried on when you knew he was going to be a dad. He was a dick, you were naive but he doesn't owe you anything at all